


The Maiden And The Wolf

by HollyWasRed



Series: Mother of Wolves [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mythical Creatures, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Birth, Breeding, Cervix Penetration, Consensual Sex, Cum Inflation, Cunnilingus, F/M, Knotting, Mages, Magic, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Sexy Werewolf, Teratophilia, Vaginal Sex, Violence, We need more of that as a tag, Werewolf Sex, Werewolves, Witches, werewolf babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:07:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 46,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23915059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollyWasRed/pseuds/HollyWasRed
Summary: Living on a farm as part of the family business, Kaya never has anything exciting happen to her. With her nose always buried in a book, she comes across one whose origins are anything but fairy tales, and whose reality becomes a part of Kaya's when she least expects it to.
Relationships: Kaya Summerwood (Original Character)/ Jaycen (Original Character)
Series: Mother of Wolves [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1848490
Comments: 29
Kudos: 254





	1. Chapter 1

There was one thing about summer that Kaya Summerwood enjoyed the most, and that was the annual fair of Erstweald. Traders from all over the land both near and far, came with their goods ranging from fruit and seeds to glittering gems and coloured stones that claimed to be from the bottom of the ocean, all intricately woven into jewellery. Sometimes there were animals too; black and white monkeys, birds with feathers every colour of the rainbow, dogs with flowing fur that touched the ground, hairless cats and fish with scales of deep cerulean.

Though it may be in her namesake, she despised it nevertheless. It made the sticky heat of the day that summer created almost bearable, knowing that she had this to look forward to over the next several days.

Her family lived on the outskirts of the city, still remaining in its high stone walls but surrounded by green fields that kept their horse breeding farm separate enough that anywhere you needed to quickly get to had to be done on four legs. The Summerwood farmhouse sat at the top of the largest hill, overlooking the land around it. It was peaceful, serene, it was perfect for Kaya. Especially since she could hardly stand the hustle and bustle that the city held, just a couple of hours ride northwest.

Kaya finished dressing for the day, pulling the last straps of her dress up and around her neck before her mother came barrelling into the room without knocking.  
“You must be ready by now!” She huffed, hands on her hips. Kaya’s mother was a stern woman in her late fifties now, but her age didn’t do anything to slow her down. Her blue eyes were still bright and delicate wrinkles on her forehead and around her eyes trod wisdom into her features from dealing with four children, an ever-growing lazy husband and twelve horses – all of which made up the farm and the equestrian game they had been a part of for generations. The Summerwoods were the most successful in the country, selling their horses to the king’s army and beyond, but they lived simple lives. All the money they made went straight back into maintaining the farm and making sure there was food on the table.

“Pretty much.” Kaya sighed. She finished tying off the neck strap of her dress and moved to examine her handiwork in the floor length mirror in the corner of her room.

“You’ve done that all wrong Kaya, here, let me.” Her mother moved behind her and redid the strap at her neck, rough fingers surprisingly gentle against very pale skin. “I swear the only time you ever really see the sun is when the fair comes along.” She chuckled, clearly calling out Kaya’s fair complexion.

“Yes well, I get plenty of sunshine and all of the other seasons in my books alone. That’s enough for me.” She countered. Her mother huffed a laugh, used to Kaya’s terribly dry responses at any attempt to get her to head outside more. However, her eldest was far too busy with her nose constantly buried in a book.

Speaking of which, while her mother moved to Kaya’s waist length auburn hair and began to braid it into a twisting plait, Kaya picked up the latest book to her collection. She was almost out of space, every spare inch of the four walls in her room were covered with shelves of varying length and piled up with books. Kaya would read anything, but she got particularly lost in tales of fantastical creatures. Dragons, unicorns, fairies…werewolves. 

It was no secret that the aforementioned existed, it was just a matter of as to how many of those creatures were still left around. They had long been driven from the land when humans first moved to this part of the world centuries ago, the unbroken ebb of time steadily erasing them from memory, passing them into myth.

What Kaya would give to see something like that! Nothing exciting ever happened to her, not really, and to say the most exciting thing this year so far was a book she had picked up at the summer fair last year, well, if that didn’t make a statement about her life, then nothing did.

After finishing having her hair braided, Kaya followed her mother downstairs to the kitchen where the rest of her family were gathered. Her father and twin brothers were by the washing area, bags packed and ready to go, while her sister Mira, loitered just beyond the kitchen door where a mirror hung up in the hallway. Kaya smirked; her sister was after something this summer and it certainly wasn’t what you could put in a bag and take home. 

Kaya sauntered over to Mira while her mother was busy with making the sure the men were actually ready.

“You look fine.” She whispered in her ear. Kaya may have been only three years older than Mira, who is about to become the infamous twenty one, but her sibling certainly didn’t act like it like it was a biological fact. Her mind was far older than her body ever would be. It was nothing short of terrifying.

It was simple families like Kaya’s, who lived off the land and specialised in a specific area, who came to these fairs to show off what they could do. It would encourage people to travel to the country in question and learn more about it, and most certainly created the desire to reciprocate in attending a fair on the other end. Everyone in the kingdom took their turn. However, because they lasted a week, often a whole family came along. Sons and daughters, much like Kaya and her sister, would sit at the side-lines and watch their parents work, only getting involved if they absolutely had to knowing that one day, they would be in charge of it all. It was the sons who Kaya learned Mira was interested in; a summer fling to pass the time. Tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder, she turned to Kaya with the beginnings of a salacious grin pulling at her pink lips.

“I know.” She whispered back.

Kaya grinned. It was their secret, nobody else had to know.

***  
A two hour carriage ride later, a mix of granite buildings and ivory rooftop sculptures signalled their arrival into the kingdom’s city centre. The banners of different nation’s flags adorned the main street as the carriage passed under an arching, vine covered trellis, entering the marketplace for the family to depart. It was a buzz of activity, voices loud mixed with the stomping of carriage wheels and horses hooves. It was what Kaya hated about the city, but only because she was so used to the rolling hills and serenity of her family’s farm.

Her mother got out the carriage first, turning to crowd everyone together once the carriage’s driver had ushered the horses forward, leaving them to it.

“Right, you all know the drill. Meet back here no later than 3pm.” She announced. Kaya glances up at the tower clock in the centre of the market. Six hours, she had six hours to kill and that was more than enough. Kaya feels a tug on her arm and Mira is already dragging her through towards the main street, the mouth of market is an oval shape with two other streets branching away from the primary one in opposite directions. Tents and stalls line the edges and Kaya can already smell breakfast food cooking, with some sort of exotic spice flowing through it, making her mouth water.

Even this early in the morning, Kaya isn’t surprised as to how busy it is. Every year it has been like this, vendors eager to get going and consumers eager to get buying. Over the years, it seemed to become more and more popular, with some sellers travelling from across the sea to take part. Kaya hoped they would again, as that is how she had found her book.

Half listening to her sister talk about how lucky she would be to find a rare mother of pearl hairpin, Kaya adjusted the leather strap of her bag across her shoulder, feeling the weight of the book she had bought last year press against her thigh. The stall she had found it from was small, almost swallowed among the larger ones to either side of it, but Kaya could almost smell the ink and parchment which had made her hurry across to investigate.

She couldn’t even begin to guess how old the lady was who ran the stall. Kaya remembered withered dry skin the colour of chocolate, a thick accent that had made it hard for her to understand and long silver hair that reached the ground. The lady sold books from every corner of the world, in many different languages, and Kaya could hardly believe her luck. Books like that were rare, and expensive, and it had taken Kaya a fair amount of coin to get the woman to part with her beloved book she had now for the right price. She had it with her to show this woman, to see if she had anything else like it this time. Anything with wild stories of things forgotten, of heroes and princesses and battles. Anything that helped get her mind to escape from the mundane pull of daily farm life.

Up and down they went, finding a stall selling spiced meats cooked over charcoal and served skewered on a stick, Kaya and her sister made quick work of two sticks each, before agreeing to split up and go their separate ways. Today, she had little interest in being Mira’s accomplice in finding a someone to play with, and more interested in what she actually came here for. Along with a new leather bound journal, a quill made from a hawk feather, a pot of ink and a small chunk of rose quartz, Kaya could feel her irritation at the back of her neck, making her twitch and huff in annoyance the further she walked and did not find what she was seeking. She knew the market layout well, the vendors seemingly more or less in the same spot each year, and she had already walked two streets worth. 

Looking around to check the time, Kaya realised she was at the far end of the second street and about to enter the third and final, the clock tower a little smaller in the distance but she could just make out the hour; midday. The day was getting hotter as the sun rose higher, what little clouds lingered quickly dissolving under its scorching path westward. If she wasn’t careful, her skin would burn and she would never hear the end of it from her family. Thankfully, the third market street was under shelter; a linen canopy zigzagged its way down back to the markets beginning point and looking around, she suddenly realised why.

These vendors sold animals and food, things that didn’t fare well under hours of direct sunlight. Kaya wandered towards it, pulled in by the majestic beauty of the creatures on display. They weren’t anything like those in her books, but they were beautiful enough for now.

One bird caught her eye, a huge specimen with charcoal feathers and the largest hooked beak she had ever seen. A crest of pointed black feathers arched gracefully back towards its body, a patch of exposed red skin on each side where its cheeks would be the only source of colour she could locate. Getting closer, Kaya realised that it almost didn’t seem to have a lower section to its oversized beak; its mouth was almost entirely made from the upper part, shining obsidian in the flecks of light coming through gaps in the canopy above.

The stall vendor noticed her, upper torso sparsely dressed and caramel skin signalling he was from somewhere far hotter than here, and he approached the bird, offering it a walnut, shell and all. It turned its great head, eyes fixing on the delicacy it was being given and a clawed foot reached out, delicately taking it from the man’s hand. It brought it to its beak, adjusting the walnut with incredible dexterity of its four toes and with a satisfying snap, the huge tool of its beak clamped clean through the shell like easing a knife into hot butter. Mouth agape in awe, the vendor simply laughed and moved back to speak with a potential customer. Kaya watched the bird a moment longer, slightly creeped out by a resemblance of a tongue that pokes out to retrieve pieces of the walnut into its mouth, before something catches her eye beyond where the bird is perched.

A small tent, a low table the front and covered with books, a hunched figure arranging and re-arranging the stacks of books and parchment, seemingly unable to find the perfect layout. It was her, without a doubt. Not where Kaya expected to find her, but she has found her nonetheless.

“Hello there.” Kaya greets the old woman in time as she stands up after moving a too tall stack of books onto the floor so it appears more even. She looks up, the same dark eyes in sandpaper like skin staring back at her, just like last time. A flash of recognition. “You’re in a different place this time.” Kaya continues. “I thought to find you on the main street.” Kaya speaks a little slower than she normally would, enunciating her words knowing this woman was not only hard of hearing but also not of this land.

“Oh, well you see, there was a little trouble getting here this time. A delay at the docks.” The lady waves her hand dismissively, as if Kaya knows all about that. Unperturbed, she retrieves her favourite book from her bag and shows it to the woman.

“I bought this from you last year and I was wondering if you had anything else like it this time?” She offers out the book and the woman takes it carefully, turning it over and flicking quickly through the pages.

“Mmm, so you like fairy tales?” She asks, giving the book back and Kaya nods. “Any particular creature that you like to read about?” Kaya thinks. She has read a lot of things about dragons recently, and then there was that one about a mermaid who wished for legs, and a unicorn that could speak as well as a human.

“I guess I haven’t read anything about werewolves recently. Do you have anything on those?” Kaya asks after mulling over her options. The lady pauses, a small frown appearing on her features. She clears her throat.

“There isn’t much to write about them that isn’t a lie.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have a couple of books, but they are the truth. Every last word. No fairy tales here.” Was this some sort of sales ploy? Kaya exudes a breath.

“Sure, werewolves haven’t been seen for centuries. They have almost passed into legend.”

“Well of course child, but they did once stalk the forests with eyes for the naïve such as you.” The lady chuckles. Kaya wasn’t best pleased to be called naïve but it wasn’t the worst insult she has had thrown her way.

“Well, what do you have? Can I at least take a look?” 

The lady shuffles away, grumbling to herself in her native tongue. She disappears for a moment behind the flaps at the back of the tent, before reappearing with a very old book which she unwraps from a tattered cloth. She eyes Kaya up and down before handing it to her.

“Be careful with this one, as you can tell it’s almost done.” Kaya scowls at the book in her hands. It has been well read, the pages dog-eared and the words faded. Each page is yellow with age and it smells musty, like it has been wrapped in that cloth for an awfully long time. 

Flicking through, she can see it’s a story about a werewolf, although she needs more information.

“Have you read this yourself?” The woman nods her confirmation and Kaya digs. “Could you give me the outline?” She has done this before with her, last year, when buying that mermaid book.

“This, child, is an account of one of the last werewolves in existence. There is no further account of him in any other book I have come across, so this is believed to be the last. Nobody knows if he is still alive or not."

“He?”

“Yes, his name is Jaycen.”

Kaya murmurs the apparent werewolf’s name. She has never read a story about a werewolf that is supposed to be true. Surely if he was one of the last, he would be more famous?  
“How come I have never heard of him? It sounds like everyone should know about him if he’s one of the last.”

“Not everyone cares for these things like you do. It’s as you said, they have almost passed into legend.” The lady looks down, runs her hands down the lower part of her dress, smoothing out a crease. Kaya thinks she looks like it’s made from a curtain but she keeps her thoughts to herself. When she looks back up, she continues. “You see, Jaycen was once a man, as all werewolves were. He was cursed by a witch when he refused to marry a noblewoman, as he was already in love with someone else. The noblewoman turned to the witch to help her get back at him for rejecting her, and he was made so ugly that nobody would ever want him. Jaycen was made a permanent werewolf, unaffected by the full moon, and not able to take the form of a man ever again.”

From just a few sentences, Kaya was hooked. She realised she has been staring at the woman entranced by the tale from the moment she started explaining, and she had to know more. Handing over the coin for the book, not nearly as much as she expected it to be for its superficial rarity, Kaya thanked the woman and began making her way back to the market centre. Her new purchase heavy at her thigh.

***

Dinner with the family that evening was how it always was, despite everyone clearly being exhausted from walking around the fair for hours, Kaya happily listened to the loud chatter and clinking of cutlery that filled the dining room over a chicken stew. She helped with her mother tidy and wash up afterwards, before everyone went their separate ways for the evening. Nightfall on their land was quiet, it was almost like the silence itself had a presence you could grasp. From her bedroom window, Kaya could see the cobblestone road that led away from their house down the hill and into the distance, alighted by the oil lamps lining the road that the farm hands lit each evening as they finished working for the day.

Creating favourable conditions for reading with several candles lit around her, a loose fitting nightgown thrown on to get comfortable; it was finally time to get started.  
Kaya knew she probably wouldn’t be able to stop reading once she started, so she waited until the creeping tendrils of the night naturally slowed everyone down, making their eyelids heavy and limbs slow. As everyone headed to bed, Kaya pulled the curtains closed, and relaxing into the pillow fort she had built behind her, book in hands. Not for the first time that day, she examined it closely. Its leather casing was a faded dark green, bindings weakened but still holding all the pages together but for how much longer, Kaya could not tell. It had to be the oldest book in her collection, despite no date being marked anywhere on it. A faded map was drawn across the first page and judging by its layout of the land, Kaya thoroughly racked her brain for the history lessons in school as to how long ago this might have been. Seventy? Perhaps eighty years ago?

Wait…

Kaya did a double take as she realised the map she was looking at what the layout of her homeland of Erstweald. She could see the castle and city centre surrounding it that she had been in today. The kingdoms walled boundaries were just visible, along with several tiny illustrations of the villages within. In the southeast corner of the boundary wall, she could clearly make out where the village nearest to where her family’s farm was roughly located. It was by no means accurate, but it was precise enough that she could further pinpoint other familiar and known locations. To the north were the great mountains, snow-capped and vast, creating a natural border between her homeland and its neighbour just beyond. To the east was the desert, the most popular trade route for the desert nation was still clearly marked, showing where travellers would make their way across safely.

To the west were the marshes, again with their well-travelled route highlighted. That just left the south. It was mostly comprised of forest, but it often broke away for small rivers and fields that created patches of pine and evergreens from the sky, before becoming one huge mass of trees that shaped a huge river that absorbed all others. It disappeared off the page, with no other room for it to go and no need to have drawn what lay beyond. Was the story set here? Kaya had not so much as peeked at a few pages since the old lady at the fair had first handed it to her and the sentences she had read gave no indication of its location, anything but. Excitement flowed through Kaya and without further ado, she began to read;

The western trade route through the marsh had finally been established, bringing across hundreds of travellers of both business and pleasure. It was a prosperous time as the economies on both sides benefitted from what they could offer each other, and the route was sectioned into several parts with guards rotating shifts so it was constantly manned to help prevent crime. All seemed to be going well, perhaps too well, and that was how when people started going missing, both kingdoms were on high alert. Tensions rose, with both sides blaming each other for the missing people as the number of them increased. They vanished without a trace, no bodies found dead or alive.

That was until one woman, only barely a woman at that of eighteen years, was found alive and wandering the swamps. Stripped of all her clothes, she was delirious and emaciated from wherever she had been during her absence from society, arms and legs painted with strange symbols in dried blood. She was placed into the care of the kingdom’s royal healer mages, the most advanced that there was. They utilised everything that they could to bring her back from the edge of death. Her continuous mutterings of a hulking creature with yellow eyes set everyone on edge, and kingdom became determined to find out what she had seen.

Not a lot of information could be further extracted from the young woman, and she died a few days later. After that, her reappearance and mysterious subsequent death was decided to be kept a secret from the public as to not raise further alarm. Trade continued as normal, but the kingdom knew there was something going on, and they were relentless in their pursuit of the truth.

A group of cultists who revered werewolves were rumoured to live deep in the southern forest. Apparently obsessed with bringing them back from the edge of extinction in their purest form, they were believed to be witches and traitors of their nation. Sacrificing the living and with nobody left to accept them, they turned to the darkest of arts in search of a greater purpose. No matter the consequences. Witchcraft was blamed without hesitation, and the search began.

Weeks passed; the kingdoms royal healers utilising the very edges of their own dark magic with the blood they scraped from the woman’s cold skin, using it like a beacon to trace its origins. Several attempts later, and all evidence pointed in the direction of the forest. Setting off in several small groups, soldiers, accompanied by the royal mages, headed into the forest, almost quite literally stumbling across a giant clearing. The floor was burned with the same symbols as on the woman’s skin, the acrid smell of smoke and rotting flesh creating a nauseating combination to roll the strongest of stomachs. A fog hung in the air, hindering the vision of a raised stone platform, an altar of sorts. Atop it, multiple dead bodies. Torn to pieces by something which took great delight in compiling the macabre display of limbs, torsos and heads.

On their guard at once, the mages began searching for life, human or not, and were not truly prepared for what they found. Uncurling itself from the base of the stone platform, at first overlooked by the viscera in front of them, rose the hulking creature with the yellow eyes. A werewolf with ebony fur, all taut muscle and wound up strength, gathered his body upright to face those that had disturbed him. He was massive, taller than any man, pointed ears flicking forward in the direction of the approaching humans. Eyes burning like the sun, both human and inhuman in the way hatred and contempt flicked across them as he gazed at each human in turn.

His arms bunched and flexed, revealing claws splattered with chunks of flesh. They rippled and clinked against the stone’s surface as he moved. And his head, with those dreadful yellow eyes staring both at and through everyone who looked at him, he pulled back his upper lips in a vicious display of his intentions. The sound that followed, a gurgling snarl from deep in his chest was the only warning the soldiers and mages got before he leapt, claws and teeth bared into the nearest group to him. 

The fight began, one single werewolf surrounded by a small army. Swords swung, axes came down, shields bashed and bolts of light flashed across the clearing. The ground became further charred and blood soaked, but none of it the werewolf’s as he moved, claws tearing out the throats of the mages, decapitating soldiers and tearing through their armour as if it were not there at all.

It was until there was just one mage left, a quivering woman, nerve having left her as she realised there was nobody to save her now. The werewolf turned her way, and she sank to the ground. Mud, blood and gore drenching her, hampering her progress as she scrambled away, back hitting the stone platform. Despite the open space, she was cornered, nothing but prey. Instead of on two legs like as he fought, the werewolf sank down to all four, pulling any shred of humanlike behaviour away from him as he stalked towards the remaining mage. Now just a few feet away, he paused. The gurgling growl from earlier began again. 

This was it. Eyes falling shut, the mage knew this was her last moment before he struck, likely taking her whole head with him and off her shoulders.

But nothing came. No pain, no tearing. Silence. The growl had stopped. Forcing herself to look at him, the mage opened her eyes. 

The werewolf was clearly spent by the fight, chest heaving with exertion and lower jaw agape as he panted. Rooted to the spot, the mage tried not to look at his fangs, easily as long as her fingers, which were tinted red with the blood of her fellow mages and soldiers alike. Forcing out her voice, she dared to ask;

“Why?”

In a very doglike manoeuvre, he tilted his head, eyes squinting in thought of her question. She knew werewolves weren’t stupid. They were human once just like she was now. The moment she asked the question, she felt imprudent. He couldn’t speak, not in this form, not if he was the werewolf she thought he was, meaning he would never be able to. He looked just like him, the only one to have yellow eyes, the only one as big as he was. His eyes flicked towards the gap in the trees where she had come in. He jerked his head, drew in a breath and,

“Leave.” 

The mage gasped. The word was barely comprehensible with a mouthful of teeth but it was there. A command, an order. The werewolf had spoken.

“Leave. Now.” He repeated, the deepest voice she had ever heard. Gathering what wits remained, the mage pulled herself to her feet with the help of the platform behind her, almost slipping on the blood that dripped from it. Without taking any further chances, she ran, as fast as she could manage across the gore on the ground, towards the forest opening. Half expecting the werewolf to change his mind and follow, perhaps pouncing on her and ripping her limb from limb, she ran.

Nothing came, nothing followed. As she reached the forest’s safety, she dared a glance back as a stray vine from a tree snagged in her hair, and she saw the werewolf for the last time. He stood on two legs, hunching forward and staring at his hands, shoulders sagging. It was then she saw a tail too, much like that of a real wolf, dipping into the blood underneath him. The mage paused, pulling herself behind a tree. To her surprise, she saw the werewolf had taken damage. Someone, somehow, among the chaos of just a few minutes, had landed a hit. He was missing his smallest finger on his left hand.

She had to report back, she was needed elsewhere. She had to share her findings with the monarchy and the rest of the kingdom would know, finally, what had been taking their people, and that it could be injured. If it could bleed, it could die.

Right?

Kaya drew back from the book, heart racing. If she closed her eyes, she could see the battle raging around her. The sounds of people screaming as they were eviscerated, helpless before the monster that slaughtered them. She could see him too, standing crudely victorious, sparing the life of one mage, but for what purpose?

She re-lit a few candles that had withered away, and even a few more to help brighten her bedroom up, before diving back in;

The mage did make it back out of the forest to civilisation, receiving medical attention and sharing what she had found. If he can speak, can he not be reasoned with? She asked this of the high council, and they scoffed. What murdering monstrosity like that could you have a conversation with? They were right, of course they were. Perhaps the mage just thought that if he could speak and had spared her life for some unknown purpose, then perhaps there was more humanity at first glance behind those eyes than there appeared to be. Regardless, the werewolf wasn’t seen again and nobody went missing further from the marsh trade route.

As Kaya turned the page, the story changed from Jaycen’s last contact with humans and evolved into the tale of how he came to be. Settling deeper into the pillows and pulling the sheets up to her chest, Kaya read on;

Several decades before his last encounter, he was a human, a soldier, high up in the order ranks of an unnamed distant land from Erstweald. He was among the best there was, and was rewarded with his own small faction of soldiers who trusted him with their lives. When they were not on duty elsewhere, they guarded their ruler of the land, their king. Despite all that Jaycen was when he was on duty, he was still just a man, and he was in love.

It was frowned upon, and he kept it secret. The woman he loved was from a noble family, meant to be married off to another in due course, as he probably would be himself one day, but that didn’t stop them. A handful of his closest friends knew, brothers in arms that they were, and they kept it secret too. However, it became too much for both of them when a marriage proposition came to Jaycen that he simply could not escape from. His position of relative power, being so close to the king, was both envied and adored. A visiting wealthy family in a similar position two cities over wanted him to marry their daughter, securing indefinite financial security and creating a bond between the metropolises that would give them power in more ways than one.

In a private meeting with the woman in question, he confided that he could not marry her. He didn’t think she wasn’t attractive, but she held a haughty arrogance that made his skin crawl and hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He begged her to understand, and to his surprise, she did. Or at least, she seemed to.

Jaycen cautiously went about the next few days, waiting for something to happen as it seemed all too good to be true. Had she really let him off like that? She decided it would be her idea, sparing him the trouble, and telling her family that they just didn’t match. A marriage in the long run would suffer, and there would most certainly not be any children to come of a marriage made up of nothing but spite and disdain. As the days passed and turned into weeks, Jaycen relaxed. The visiting family left and he got on with his life, none the wiser as to what was in store for him.

He was a fool to relax and think nothing would happen, but most of all, he was a fool for rejecting one of the wealthiest women in the land. Her wealth wasn’t just in money, it was in the possessions she wielded. They say it’s not _what_ you know, but _who_.

On a routine patrol on the edge of the nation’s boundary, Jaycen’s regiment was ambushed. No matter the skill of the soldiers and himself, they were no match for the supernatural forces that dragged his men into the air, slamming them to the ground and shattering their bones like twigs in the breeze. Vines curled from the grass itself, twisting around Jaycen’s ankles, squeezing up his thighs and around his waist before yanking his feet out from underneath him. He went down hard, slashing at the vines with his sword. The vines that he did cut simply grew back in double the amount, until he Jaycen found himself completely covered in them.

With his arms twisted painfully behind him, he was forced to drop his sword and be dragged without mercy towards the trees lining the path he had been walking on, watching his brothers in arms have their life crushed from them in the spiteful embrace of the vines. It became dark, his vision obscured as he was dragged over gnarled tree roots, armour catching on the edges and resisting his forced journey across the ground before a particularly jagged edge ripped one his gauntlets free. Further sharp bits of rock and twigs scratched at any bit of exposed skin they could reach, one tearing a line across his forehead and pushing blood into eyes.

Jaycen was helpless against the onslaught of whatever was pulling him deeper into the forest. He could make out nothing, could no longer see the sky as the trees became a canopy of their own. He did not know how long he was dragged before it finally ceased. The vines released him, withering away now their purpose was done, and Jaycen steadily sat up, eyes open to the sunlight reappearing from a gap in the clouds above.

He was in a forest clearing.

Body twitching from the abuse, Jaycen forced himself to truly take in his surroundings. A solitary stone platform was the only point of interest in the clearing, the ground surrounding it scorched any grass that attempted to grow and turning it a sickly brown. Above the platform, a figure materialised out of mist. Glowing at the edges, a woman appeared, hardly dressed in anything at all. A strip of white cloth began at her neck, wrapping around it before entwining with the rest of her. It barely covered her small breasts, twisting around her middle before lowering between her legs, obscuring her groin and winding down her left leg until it reached her foot. It was a like snake ensnaring its prey. The mist surrounding her cleared and her skin seemed to glow with effervescent light.

“Soldier of the king, come to me.” Her voice reached to Jaycen’s core. It whispered right into his head, as if she were standing right behind him. It was smooth, like silk brushing against him, into him, and wound around his mind, compelling him to obey. Her arm reached out, finger pointing. “Come.” She beckoned, and powerless to resist, he felt himself rise to his feet and make his way towards her, atop the stone platform.

Everything else vanished, the world fell away. In that moment, it was just him and this ethereal beautiful woman. She sighed in pleasure, in satisfaction, as he approached. Jaycen reached up, he was not yet on the raised section with her, and he began to clamber up, mind in a haze. When he reached her, a hair’s breadth apart from her face, she crooned.

“Faithful soldier, loyal soldier, what have you done?” He frowned, foggy mind trying to figure out what she meant. What had he done? He was no longer sure. She circled him, hand keeping at the back of his neck, causing him to shiver. Something wasn’t right. “Soldier of the king.” She repeated. “You should have taken what was offered to thee willingly.” Her voice deepened at the end, twisting itself into something fierce, something to be feared.

Jaycen recoiled, lurching backwards, trying to pull himself free of the hand at his neck. It did not give, instead, its grip was like a vice, one that held him in place. With pale eyes that shifted to crimson, the woman’s façade came to an end. With her hand now at his throat, her pastel skin melted away, revealing the macabre being underneath.

This was no woman, this was a witch. For a fleeting moment, Jaycen felt a fool. Was he that weak of a man? Decaying skin, deep red eyes, matted hair and pointed teeth, there was nothing left of the surreal being once before him. The witch threw her head back, laughing at his failure. Quick as a viper, her face was next to his ear, lips on his skin, voice hissing in hushed contempt;

_“By thy pale beams I solitary rove, to thee my tender grief confide, serenely sweet you gild the silent grove, my friend, my goddess and my guide.”_

At the last of her utterings, she flung him back. Jaycen, once again helpless to do otherwise, hit the ground with such force he was sure he felt a rib crack. White hot pain flew up his spine, pulling a scream from his lungs. It centralised in his head, clustering like moths to a flame. Feeling like his eyeballs might explode from his skull, Jaycen’s hands clawed at his face. His nails sank into his cheeks, feeling bone underneath. Pulling them away, he looked down at his hands; Jaycen saw his own flesh under his nails, skin soaked in his own blood.

Falling to all fours, he heaved, contents of his stomach re-appearing in front of him but the pain persisted. Nails shredded to reveal ivory claws. Teeth expelled to make way for fangs. Skin at his back tearing like a sheet as it gave under the pressure of what was forcing its way out. Scream after scream, Jaycen’s voice was on fire. His vocal chords ripped under the stress of his exertion, deepening, changing. He was quite sure he was going to die, right here in this clearing, body apparently determined on turning itself inside out. Whatever the witch commanded it to do.

He blacked out, what remained of his mind relenting and shutting down to avoid further trauma, the echoes of vicious laughter loud in his ears. The last things he saw was the witch’s form dissolving into a spray of blood that gravitated towards the sky before disappearing, and his own hands that were no longer but black fur and claws meant for things he would never dream of doing of in his waking life.

Was he awake or was he dreaming? Was he doing both?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poem used by the witch to curse Jaycen;
> 
> Hymn to the Moon by Lady Mary Montagu (1689-1762)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaya learns new things about herself and after taking a walk, she learns new things about someone else too.

Kaya dreamt that night, and she dreamt deeply. The glaring light of the early morning’s rays through a gap in the curtains on her face did nothing to pull her from an ethereal world with frayed edges and lurid colours. When she did finally return to the waking world, it was to her mother standing over her, poking her shoulder with her finger.

“Welcome to the land of the living my dear!” She chortled. “And what were you dreaming about that had you sleep so deeply, huh?” Kaya rubbed her eyes and shrugged. “Well, it’s time to get up and start the day. I need your help with a few things.” Her mother pulled open the curtains, revealing a very sunny day with a clear blue sky that told Kaya one thing: soaring temperatures later on.

As she goes about her morning, the story of Jaycen is a constant in her mind. Depicted as some sort of villain throughout the tale, Kaya can see he is anything but. Betrayed and bitter, he was transformed against his will by a jealous bitch who clearly had never been told “no” in her entire life.

As Kaya had read to the end, the book went on to describe the aftermath of the fight in the forest clearing. Nobody ever saw Jaycen again and as it was close to a century ago, it was believed that he was dead. The book gave no hints as to why a depiction of Erstweald was carefully drawn on the front pages though. In fact, both the bloodline of the woman who had him cursed and the woman he actually loved were no more, which would make looking them up in the archives at a library near impossible. The legend of Jaycen was just that, a legend, and anyone associated to him seemed to follow his name into myth.

Nevertheless, after finishing her chores for the day and bathing to rid her body of the smell of hay and horses, Kaya took an afternoon trip into the city and headed for the library.  
It was a grand building, almost as old as the castle itself. Built from huge granite slabs expertly shaped into a tall imposing structure with three twisting ivory spires. The people of Erstweald took great delight in culture and history, so the library was decorated with the finery one might find in a cathedral.

In the hexagonal entryway, exotic ferns in marble pots lined the walls. A silver chandelier hung from the ceiling and matching candelabras jutted out from the stone arches above adjoining each corridor offering the different sections of the library.

Behind a mahogany desk in the centre, the master scholar sat. A gruff elderly man, he took one fleeting glance at Kaya then resumed writing with the impressive peacock feather quill, back to whatever it was that had him so enraptured. He had seen her many times and this time was no different.

Kaya headed to the historical section, mentally praising the person who thought of alphabetising literature, and began looking for the names mentioned in Jaycen’s story. However, after a half hour of searching, she had found nothing. Deflated and her neck aching from craning it at an angle to see the vertically stored books titles, Kaya moved on to the next section in mind; creatures of the world.

This section was much better versed, not that she was surprised. A nation of rich times past and occasional sightings of beasts of all shapes and sizes had led to many the adventurer and bard telling their tale. Utilising the impeccable ordering system of the library, Kaya quickly found something along the lines that she was looking for;  
_An In-Depth Analysis of Canid Humanoids and their Subcultures. ___

__The book was old and relatively small in its bulk compared to the others lining the shelf, to the point that Kaya almost overlooked it. Also compared to the many others here, it was relatively new, written around twenty years ago. Kaya hadn’t read much about werewolves apart from a few tall tales as a child and now Jaycen. They were real beings, their origins perhaps exaggerated greatly to discourage people going after them and instilling fear into the minds of the weak, depicting them as mindless beasts that wouldn’t hesitate to savage you at the first opportunity._ _

__But the story of Jaycen told Kaya other things. He was becoming a lost piece of history, and she was dying to know more about what he really was, especially if she couldn’t find anything in regards to the people that knew him as a human._ _

__Renting the book from the library and dealing with the dull small talk the scholar always insisted upon creating, Kaya began the two hour return journey home, making it back in time to be roped into helping bring in all the horses from the fields then assisting her mother make dinner._ _

__Kaya wasn’t sure she should share her newest library book with her family. Her parents would no doubt make a comment about how they wished her mind would get out of the clouds already, Mira would definitely make some lewd comment that she couldn’t un-hear and her brothers would without fail call her a “creep” and ask what her favourite body part of a werewolf is._ _

__They wouldn’t understand, no more than they would ever understand her sister’s prude summer flings with the travelling traders, so she kept it hidden in her room, once again waiting until nightfall to begin reading._ _

__In remarkable detail, the book described the physical attributes of werewolves. There didn’t seem to be any females, and the incredible hand-drawn sketches of them were as lifelike as a painting. It was as if the author had been right there, sitting an arm’s length away from a man-eating monster as if it were the family dog. There were different variations of them, some with lighter fur than others of varying length, different shaped ears, different eyes, and different heights. Some sketches were of the entire werewolf in a crouched position or drinking from a pool of water. Others were of their torso and upper body, with the final few sketches being of just their head, like a portrait._ _

__Kaya turned a page, and a scattering of pages fell into her lap. Dismayed for a moment that she had damaged the book, she quickly picked them up and shuffled them into order. However, the pages were intruders. Intrigued, Kaya turned them over, quickly realising they were never meant to be a part of the book itself. They were something different. These werewolves were engaged in sexual acts with a woman. The woman’s face was obscured, either by her own hair or a conveniently placed arm, but nonetheless, Kaya was looking upon illicit drawings of a woman being ravaged by a creature that apparently kill humans for both fun and food._ _

__Heat rushed to her cheeks as she examined them closer, the sudden discovery making her do a cautionary glance behind as if she were not in her bedroom, but a public place and someone might see. Flinching at her own stupidity, Kaya continued to peruse the accidental findings. There were only five drawings, but each one different. The first two were similar; the woman straddling the werewolf’s lap, head thrown back and mouth agape in ecstasy and the werewolf gripping a hip and her breast, seemingly carefully aware of those claws as to not injure his lover._ _

__The second had the woman splayed out on the ground, limber legs wrapped around the werewolf’s waist, back arched, an arm thrown over her eyes, mouth agape once more. The werewolf’s eyes seemed glazed in both pleasure and concentration, delight evident on his features. The other two drawings were of the woman, still naked and in the werewolf’s company in different positions. In one she was on all fours in front of him as she leaned forward, maintaining lewd eye contact as her hand wrapped around the base of his cock and a small tongue poked out, daring to taste the tip. In the last drawing, the werewolf had ejaculated on her stomach, his own head thrown back and fangs on display. He looked to be, quite literally, howling with pleasure._ _

__The heat in Kaya’s cheeks moved to the back of her neck and straight into her core. She had never seen anything like it. She was no stranger to acts of the flesh herself, even though they may be very few and far between, but were only with human men of course. She had no idea that humans could even get close enough to a werewolf to tell the tale, let alone have sex with one._ _

__But in just twenty four hours, she had learned that both of those things could happen._ _

__Setting the sketches aside, Kaya tried to push the creeping hotness from her body as she continued through the book, but her attempts became futile when all she found on the next few pages were thorough sketches of werewolf cocks. A strange mix between human and canine, they were bigger than anything she had ever taken, with a slightly flared tip on the still bulbous head, with the base of it as wide as her fist. She knew domestic dogs and actual wolves had knots to lock themselves to their mates, ensuring their seed took, but it turned out werewolves did too. Strangely and unlike the drawings of the two, these were part of the book._ _

__Kaya closed the book, taking a steadying breath. Was it wrong that the heat that began in her cheeks had spread down from her back to between her legs? She supposed she could still be classed as inexperienced in the grand scheme of things, but getting off on the idea, and thoughts, that the sketches conjured up was certainly something different._ _

__On this night, Kaya learned something new about herself._ _

__Unable to shake the images from her head, she tossed and turned in her bed. The darkness of the room only serving as a blank backdrop for the vulgar acts the woman and the werewolf were getting themselves into. What had she done that enabled her to get so close? He wasn’t forcing himself on her, not with the facial expressions Kaya could make out, and she wasn’t afraid of him in any way. Feeling herself heat up once again, Kaya relented to what her body wanted. Slipping her hands underneath the sheets and between her legs, she delicately rubbed her clit, pulling wetness from her core before using it to ease her index finger inside herself._ _

__Pushing against her hand with her head thrown back, Kaya closed her eyes and imagined what the women in the drawings would be feeling. With a cock big enough to drag against her walls, reaching further inside than she or any human man could, and the strength of several above her, holding her in place while he had his way with her. It was too much for Kaya and she could feel the heat building. She chased it, it was just within grasp. Before she could stop them, bright yellow eyes came to her mind. They looked at her and through her at the same time, not judging or demeaning, but just looking. As if they had seen something they liked and were intrigued to know more._ _

__It was the last push Kaya needed, and her orgasm crashed over here, the heat alighting down her spine and to every nerve ending. Receding into the warmth of the afterglow, Kaya heaved a sigh. It helped clear the fog and pushed those yellow eyes and intertwined couple away. She retreated to the washroom to clean up, the realisation of not only what she had done, but what had got her there suddenly feeling like a weight on her shoulders, a cloud over her head._ _

__If someone in the world had not only drawn the anatomy of a werewolf, there had to be more going on that she initially thought. The discovery of Jaycen had not only opened a door to a world she didn’t think ever really existed, not properly, but had clearly revealed a part of her mind that had been locked away until now. Now she knew with her eyes shut that her imagination could get her there, the question begged; could she see herself doing it with the real thing? Would that even be possible? Kaya climbed back into her bed, curling up on her side with the sheets up to her chin. The summer air, although still warm even at night, had cooled considerably and the distant sound of cicadas in the forest nearby were soothing enough that despite the initial resistance, Kaya drifted off to sleep. Tomorrow was a day off, a day of rest, and Kaya certainly felt like she needed it._ _

__Wandering to the embrace of her dreams, Kaya caught a glimpse of yellow eyes, watching her from the darkness._ _

__***_ _

__In the afternoon light, Kaya searched her surroundings for life. Standing with the reins of her horse in one hand, journal in her satchel and Jaycen’s story in the other hand, the edge of the forest was just ahead. The trees were thin at the edges, the trunks of them thickening as they got further in. She could tell it was dark in the forest, the treeline making sure that only the barest hint of light got through, creating the perfect conditions for exotic ferns and Venus fly-traps to huddle around the roots._ _

__Tethering her horse to the nearest tree, she left the chestnut mare to graze, taking the biggest and deepest breath she had ever taken in her life. According to the book from the library, there were not just apparent werewolves to fear deep in the trees, but witches, disgruntled fairies and of course, satyrs._ _

__In the distant past, there was many a woman who had come back from a trip to the forest being none the wiser that they were carrying the offspring of their not so secret coupling. Giving birth to a satyr hybrid several months later used to be a normal occurrence in Erstweald. Many women who wanted a child and found themselves unable to reproduce with a human, took a journey to the forest and came back with what they wanted. Satyrs were after all, the most fertile of all races, the most licentious. But they were just another creature, slowly fading into nothing but stories and juvenile warnings to those who got a bit too lost. That wasn’t what Kaya wanted, neither what she was looking for. Following a narrow grassy path through the trees, she often glanced at the book in her hands to divulge just where she should be going, and trekked forward. Even if she found nothing the first time, she wouldn’t give up._ _

__According to said book, both the detailed analytical one she had from the library and Jaycen’s tale itself, both made claims that he lived in the forest to the south of Erstweald. His story had claimed that was where he was last seen, meaning that after the entire occurrence of him changing to his current form, weeks upon weeks of journeying had brought him to Erstweald, to the very same forest she was standing in now. Upon closer inspection of the map, she had noticed that there was apparently another forest clearing with a matching stone platform alike to the one the witch had stood atop and cursed him. Two clearings, identical in description with what she could only imagine as thousands of miles between them._ _

__It could not be a coincidence._ _

__Kaya didn’t intend to get as far as finding the clearing, neither did she expect to find anything proving Jaycen’s existence of the race of werewolves in its entirety, but she planned a nice little trip nonetheless. Alongside her journal in her satchel were also some dried goods, an apple, an elk skin of water, a hunting knife, a pocket watch, some bandages (just in case, you never know) and a pencil, Kaya made close to an hour’s worth of walking before she had to stop._ _

__The path had thinned greatly but still continued onwards. Its grass covering waning away to dirt, trodden in by deer, foxes and rabbits, and it was only when she could hear running water that she realised why. Perhaps thirty paces from the path, through grass as tall as her waist and trees almost as wide as a carriage, Kaya followed the sound and came across a pond. It was fairly substantial, a small waterfall on the opposite side and lily pads covering at least half of its surface. The area around it was pebbled and rocky, with a large rock covered in moss and ferns about halfway around from Kaya was standing and half submerged in water. It was like it was undecided in its location between the pond and the shore. It was a perfect place to stop and have a snack, maybe do a bit of writing._ _

__Leaving her bag on dry land at the base of the rock, Kaya pulled herself up and settled into the surprisingly comfortable surface, journal and pencil in hand and apple clenched between her teeth, she got settled, writing about the events of the past few days. Whenever she paused to think about how to pull her deepest thoughts from the hiding place of her subconscious and onto a page, all she had to do for encouragement was look around. It was so green here, the water so still. The trees circled the pond, creating a wall between it and the forest around it. The water teemed with life; the rocks and accompanying waterfall doing wonders to make it perfectly clear so she could see the colourful fish underneath. A couple of frogs took refuge on the lily pads and a bright blue dragonfly buzzed across the surface._ _

__It was silent except for the birds chittering in the distance, the occasional call of a fox was the only thing that filtered through the gaps in the trees. The sunlight was still bold in the sky; it couldn’t be much after midday since she arrived at the forest edge. It explained why she was hungry and decided to start with the apple. It was perhaps because of the usual forest sounds, the birds and other wildlife minding their own business which created the hum of white noise in Kaya’s mind, it was this noise that helped her think, helped get her thoughts out. It was perhaps why this noise didn’t mean a whole let except to get the creativeness going and why when it stopped, Kaya didn’t immediately notice. It was only when a flock of birds alighted, quickly hurrying from a tree and screeching as they went that she realised it was truly silent. No birds, no hum of wildlife._ _

___Nothing. ____ _

____It was as if the forest was holding its breath, waiting for the right moment to exhale. When Kaya noticed, it was too late._ _ _ _

____A bush rustled on the other side of the pond, twigs snapped and stones crunched under the weight of something emerging from its hiding place. A low menacing growl tore through the silence, and Kaya’s heart stopped._ _ _ _

____Eyes slowly raising from her journal, she lifted her head to look for the disturbance, and when her eyes found it her blood turned to ice._ _ _ _

____Across from the pond, revealing itself from the mystery of the forest, a werewolf crouched at the water’s edge. Hunkered down, limbs bent like he was ready to leap at Kaya. She froze, unable to do much else as her heart tripled its pace, hammering in her chest as if it could escape through the gaps between her ribs. Stabs of white hot fear clenched at her stomach and for one awful moment, Kaya thought she might actually be sick._ _ _ _

____The werewolf’s head was low to the ground. He was huge, ebony fur stark against the greenery of the forest, claws scraping against the stone and shifting the pebbles around. Despite his crouched stance, he was easily as tall as Kaya was when she stood up, meaning he had to be…seven feet tall if he rose back on his haunches?  
There was nothing Kaya could do in the face of such a creature. All the images from the book, the descriptions, the drawings, even the illicit ones that had found their way in, flew from her mind. The latter of those were clearly some fantasy someone had drawn as a joke; there was no way anyone would survive an encounter with a werewolf like the mage did with Jaycen so many years ago._ _ _ _

____That was a one-off and this was not likely to be._ _ _ _

____The werewolf’s growl grew louder, chilling her bones as panic crept its way in. Bordering on hyperventilating, Kaya’s hand on her journal’s pencil gripped it so hard it snapped, whereas the other ripped some of the moss from the rock underneath her. It was enough to make the werewolf pull his upper lips back as far as they would go, revealing the whitest of fangs, sharp as knives, as long as her index finger._ _ _ _

____A knife! Kaya had one in her bag, but that was on the ground next to the rock. There was no way she could reach it in time. She was pulled from her thoughts of how to get out of her situation by the werewolf deciding to get closer. His growl had ceased for now, and he stalked around the edge of the pond towards where Kaya was sitting, flicking small rocks and stones into the water, disturbing the fish below._ _ _ _

____This was it, Kaya thought. This was how she was going to die, mauled by a werewolf, a species that hadn’t been seen for a century and apparently lived just an hour’s walk into the southern forest bordering Erstweald. It was almost hilarious if Kaya didn’t find it so humiliating as well. Still rooted to her rock and unable to move, the werewolf halted just a few feet from the rock. Kaya realised that atop it, she was a little higher up than him, but that changed when he leaned up, rising on his back legs to stretch to his full height, like the half bipedal creature he was._ _ _ _

____It was then, for the first time, that she noticed his eyes. Kaya wasn’t sure how she hadn’t done this already. She was probably too busy staring at his teeth and wondering which body part he might sink them into first. The werewolf’s eyes, of every colour she had learned they could be; grey, blue, green, brown, hazel, even black, were none of these colours._ _ _ _

____They were yellow._ _ _ _

____The growling begun again, softer than before but still very much there, reverberating deep in his chest._ _ _ _

____“Jaycen?” Kaya somehow found her voice, her realisation evaporating her initial shock but still making her voice tiny. Did he even hear her?_ _ _ _

____He did. Oh, he did._ _ _ _

____Her suspicions were confirmed, frayed as her mind was in its desperate struggle to understand the situation at hand. Her question was out, hanging in the air. If the werewolf was Jaycen, there was the smallest chance he could voice his answer back, as he had before, right? The werewolf paused, fangs hidden and the growling stopped in its tracks. In a very doglike way, he cocked his head to one side, taking in her question. Kaya pressed further, strength returning. “I’ve read about you, if you are him.” She was going to look very foolish if he wasn’t. He had to be! The description was on point._ _ _ _

____No deep voice echoed in the clearing, only silence. The werewolf was stock still; Kaya didn’t know that such a creature could get so motionless until she was witnessing it front of her. Heartbeat picking up again at the lack of response, Kaya searched for the one thing that would give his identity away; a missing finger on his left hand. Eyes daring to break contact, Kaya thought she must actually be quite mad, she quickly found what she was looking for, and almost breathed a sigh of relief. “It is you.” Kaya whispered._ _ _ _

____Finally, the werewolf moved. He steadily crept forward until he was practically leaning against the rock Kaya was sitting on. His eyes were level with hers, personal space completely ignored as he moved his head closer to hers, taking a deep breath through his nose. To Kaya’s surprise, he didn’t smell like a dog. He smelt of the forest. Of dew on the grass in the spring and pine needles in the autumn._ _ _ _

____Seemingly satisfied with whatever he had smelt on her, he removed himself from Kaya’s space, and nodded twice. It was a slow gesture, but a confirmation nonetheless, and Kaya could hardly believe her luck. “I-I have a book with me, it’s about you.” She continued, not sure how to explain that she had read his apparent origin story. Jaycen sat back on his haunches, head still tilted a little at her, ears forward. He was listening. He wanted her to explain._ _ _ _

____Kaya cleared her throat nervously. “Well, you see, I have no idea if it’s made up or not and obviously the only person who knows is the one who actually wrote it and of course, yourself. I found it at the summer fair a few days ago. It was…most interesting to read.” Kaya watched Jaycen closely as she spoke, attempting to look anywhere but his eyes. It was frightening how quickly they had receded from murderous to curious in one blink. His entire demeanour had changed, and she noticed the birds had started to sing again. Now the werewolf wasn’t in the middle of about to make a kill, it was like the forest had released the aforementioned held breath, and continued as if nothing had ever happened. That he had such an effect on his surroundings surely meant something, but what? He still hadn’t spoken._ _ _ _

____“In the book, you spoke. You told the last surviving mage to leave. Can you still speak?” At that question, his ears flattened and his eyes narrowed. For a fleeting moment, Jaycen’s expression was incredibly human and Kaya was surprised at what she saw; shame. Slowly, he shook his head, turning the move into a full body shake and instantly, he was back in the animal-like state he seemed to favour. Kaya’s mind almost couldn’t keep up with the switching, but one thing was certain, there was still a man in there staring out from yellow eyes at her and the world around him._ _ _ _

____Crouched on all fours over the pond’s edge, Jaycen dipped his head and began to drink, apparently already done with listening to Kaya. He knew his own tale of how he came to be, Kaya supposed he didn’t need to hear it again from her via whoever had written about him. He clearly wasn’t interested. So, feeling a little braver, Kaya tried a different tactic. “So!” she began. “You have been living in the southern forest this entire time and nobody knows. The entirety of Erstweald thinks werewolves don’t exist anymore.” Jaycen stopped drinking from the pond, eyes still narrowed at her seemed to increase in their intensity, then resumed the task of rehydrating. Kaya almost scoffed. It was as if he had said _“good.”___ _ _

______A one-sided conversation was going to be harder than she thought, especially if she wanted to get some answers. “Look, I know you were once human, and it’s clear to me you still somewhat are, regardless of what you look like now and the things you’ve done. You have to make the best out of a situation, right? You’re the first werewolf anyone has seen in almost a century and being less than an hour from my home is a little unsettling, but there you go. I’m not going to tell anyone that you’re still here either, nobody would believe me for a start and from what I’ve read about you, if any of it is true, you’re done running. You were done a long time ago.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______As Kaya spoke, Jaycen had returned to a sitting position, watching her with eyes shining with, to some degree, amusement. When she finished speaking, he sighed and turned to face her completely, resigning to Kaya’s incoming game of twenty questions. “Will you speak with me?” She asked. “We can still do so without your voice.” With eyes still shining, he nodded. Grinning with victory, she sat up straight, journal and pencil at the ready as if she were about to interview someone. In a way, she was._ _ _ _ _ _

______Kaya began, asking first about how Jaycen came to be, wanting to know for sure if the book was true. It was._ _ _ _ _ _

______Has he met any other werewolves? He has._ _ _ _ _ _

______A long time ago? Yes._ _ _ _ _ _

______Have you been alone since coming to Erstweald? A pause, but then a yes._ _ _ _ _ _

______Kaya mentally scolded herself when she didn’t ask a simple yes or no question, but when Jaycen didn’t know the answer, he simply tilted his head like he had done before, and that was enough for her to move on._ _ _ _ _ _

______Did he know how old he was? No._ _ _ _ _ _

______Is he immortal? Don’t know._ _ _ _ _ _

______Does he want to die? No._ _ _ _ _ _

______Is he the only permanent werewolf he has encountered? Yes._ _ _ _ _ _

______Would he want to go back to being a human? A pause, and then a head tilt. Kaya wasn’t that surprised. He had been a werewolf for so long it was probably all he knew what to be. Realising that her questions had become steadily more depressing and macabre, Kaya tried to lighten the mood a little._ _ _ _ _ _

______Are there any female werewolves? Jaycen shook his head but tilted it slightly at the same time. None that he has met, but he wasn’t sure._ _ _ _ _ _

______Am I the first human you have spoken with since disappearing from history? He seem to pause again, but then a yes._ _ _ _ _ _

______Kaya felt a small flaring of pride at that, but there was something still snagging at the front of her mind. The question was on the tip of her tongue and she was afraid of what the answer might be. Looking down at her journal of all the questions and answers she had so far, her voice shrank again as it had when uttered his name. “Why haven’t you killed me?” It wasn’t a yes or no question, not a simple one in any shape or form._ _ _ _ _ _

______Raising her head, she found Jaycen staring at her sidelong. His intimidating gaze looked her up and down, as much as he could from her cross legged position, although what he was looking for, Kaya did not know. His eyes narrowed for the third time at her, ears flat to his head, almost sneering as if to say, _I still could.____ _ _ _

________But then in flash, the sinister look was gone, and the chill that had returned to Kaya’s bones faded away with the afternoon breeze. It was then she realised how late it had gotten. The sun was well on its way to setting and had disappeared from the treeline, casting tendrils of gold between the remaining clouds, the bright blue of the day receding into something darker as it made way for nightfall._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I…should really get going.” Kaya closed her journal and watched Jaycen from the corner of her eye as she climbed down from the rock. Morbid thoughts began popping up in her mind. Would he stop her from leaving to ensure his presence stayed a secret? Would he hold her prisoner here forever? Would he change his mind and turn her into dinner? Would he-?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________No, Jaycen did none of those things. He was still in his seated position, clearly not suffering from any cramping as she surely did when crouched, and he simply lowered his head, gracing her with a slow blink in the place of parting wave. “I really appreciate you hearing me out. I’m sure you had other…things to be doing.” Kaya suddenly felt supremely awkward. What was it he would have been doing if he hadn’t come to the pond today?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Should she thank him for not choosing to eat her? No, that would be pushing her luck too far. “I promise I won’t ask as many next time, you have filled my curiosity and it means a lot.” Kaya winced in understanding of what she had said. A next time? There was going to be a next time? Since when? Jaycen was clearly wondering the same, eyes bright with interest, ears forward._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I mean, if you can bare to stand my presence and stupid questions that is. Maybe…the day after tomorrow?” She would need a day to process this development. “The same sort of time perhaps? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I can’t force you of course, but it would be really informative and I’m obviously not going to publish this stuff anywhere because as I said, nobody would believe me. This is purely for my own entertainment which sounds very strange now I think about it but-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She was rambling, she knew it, but she couldn’t stop once she started and it was only when Jaycen seemed to huff in annoyance, that she shut her mouth and looked at him.  
After a moment of silence, woman and werewolf staring each other down, Jaycen nodded, once again turning the move into a full body shake, standing onto all fours and prowling the way he had come, back into the depths of the forest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We learn new things everyday, but none require a more introspective insight than something you learn about yourself.
> 
> -HWR


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaya feels more comfortable around Jaycen. Very comfortable indeed.

Kaya couldn’t quite believe she was doing this again. Returning to her house yesterday, she had felt exhausted like she had been running for miles. Her bones ached, her chest hurt and she felt light headed. It was only hours later when she was in the bath that she finally felt better, chalking it down to the sudden rise of adrenaline and the following feeling of it escaping the same way it had come in. 

In and out, in and out; Kaya recalls the calming breaths she had taken when she realised she wasn’t going to die. Despite still being alive twenty four hours later, she had made a small promise with the elusive werewolf to meet with him again. But for what purpose?

Kaya decided to leave her horse at home this time, feeling confident it wouldn’t take much to walk the journey herself and locate the pond clearing again. It took a little longer after Kaya walked past the entrance to the clearing and sticking to the main path a bit more than she should have. However, after not recognising where she was and backtracking, the pond clearing was in front of her once more.

Jaycen on the other hand, was not.

The air was fresh, warmed in the early afternoon sun as it rose to its highest point of the day. The sounds of wildlife were a buzz of different noises, mostly birds, but the occasional _“yip-yip”_ of a squirrel in the trees above.

Kaya had brought along the story of Jaycen again, prepared to show him just what the outside world had come up with while he was beyond their sight. At the end of story, the book revealed that the mysterious author was in fact the surviving mage. This of course, made a lot of sense, but Kaya thought it wasn’t a stretch for the mage to have told the tale to someone, and then the story spiralled out of control until it finally reached the person who would write it.

But no, the author was indeed the mage, clearly using a fictitious name, and there was not much to go on from there. It was almost a hundred years ago, and even the most advanced of magic wielders didn’t live that long, not naturally, and there was every chance the woman was dead. Revealing that at the very end was the icing on the cake for Kaya. A clever tactic, leaving Kaya feeling as if she had been on that mage’s journey, right there alongside her every step of the way.

Getting as comfortable as she could on the rock like she had done yesterday, Kaya opened up the story of Jaycen once again. Since it came into her possession, she hadn’t been able to put it down. She flicked to the part where the mage encountered Jaycen in the forest clearing, with its blood splattered stone platform, scorched grass and pile of corpses. The fear she must have felt not only in that moment or the fight itself, but at the end of it, when Jaycen stalked towards her and uttered no more than two words, with the blood and guts of her comrades stuck between his teeth and claws.

The fear must have been to akin to what Kaya felt when she first saw him. The description of a _“hulking mass”_ didn’t lie, especially as his dark colour stood out so harshly against the green of the grass. Jaycen seemed so very out of place in this forest, and Kaya wondered if she could narrow down her questions to try and figure out what he was doing here. He was almost out of place in the world itself, and the thought saddened Kaya a little.

Despite the honest man he once was, she would be foolish to think she could relax around him. He could kill her at a moment’s notice, and was no longer Jaycen the human soldier, he was Jaycen the werewolf.

So why had it felt like she was in the company of a man?

The rustling of bushes drew Kaya from her thoughts, and looking up, there he was, sitting in the same location across the pond in the same fashion as he did yesterday.  
Kaya raised her hand, offering a small wave in greeting. Jaycen tilted his head, yellow eyes focusing on her true, and began his approach towards, more or less taking the exact same seated position.

“Thank you for coming back today.” Kaya smiled slightly, still trying to figure out if he was friend or foe. Something about Jaycen felt less threatening today. Unlike yesterday, the life of the forest hadn’t stopped when he appeared. It had carried on like he was just another part of it, a good part. Kaya showed Jaycen his own book, only imagining how strange it must be to have something written about you that you didn’t even know about, then to have it waved in your face. Kaya knew this was a sore subject; the way he was made, and she may never really get a true understanding of it since Jaycen can no longer speak. But she would have to make do.

Cautiously, she asked him if he would answer some questions about it, and after a moment’s hesitation, he agreed. That afternoon, Kaya learned that it had taken months for Jaycen to make his way into the southern forest of Erstweald. He had travelled across the marshlands to the west from where he was originally from, then spent most of his time in the northlands. This is where he had met another werewolf, but one who could change at will, cursed from some other magic.

He didn’t remember when how long he spent up there, only that it was a long time, his body able to withstand the cold and the isolation of the mountains was a welcome retreat from wet marshes and nearby people who had driven him away. After his last encounter with humans, the history books had no recollection of him purely for the fact he hadn’t ever sought them out again. 

He could eat anything from berries, fish and game; never actively seeking humans to feast on. He could also go a long time without eating, weeks and weeks, far longer than any human could without the assistance of magic. Staying awake for long periods of time didn’t seem to be a problem either. It was almost like he could turn his mind off at will and only then his body would rest. He had made his way through the country down to the south, and had been here ever since.

That was close to fifty years ago.

Jaycen didn’t know how old he was. It led Kaya back to yesterday’s question of wondering if he was immortal or not. Perhaps he was and until he was killed in some way, he would go on forever, watching the world go by. It was…a morbid thought.

Kaya continued to feel more and more sympathetic for him. He was just a man who fell in love with a woman he perhaps shouldn’t have, but could do nothing about. It was all ripped away from him, at the behest of another overcome with jealousy. Whereas the woman who began all this was long dead, Jaycen was still here, lingering on in his curse, his suffering. He was doing it all alone and never once took it out on humans. He never sought revenge; the attack that day was in self-defence.

The missing people from the marshland borders were being taken by worshippers of the witch who cursed him, offering their dark mistress the power of blood. Jaycen, who was already in the area, was caught up in all of it.

Did Jaycen kill all those people on the stone platform? No, he did not. 

“Why was their blood on your teeth?” It was more of a question Kaya was asking herself out loud rather than to Jaycen as it clearly wasn’t one for a simple yes or no answer. But he heard, eyes narrowing and ears flattening. He looked away over the pond, his gaze looking at everything and nothing. Was he seeing them in his mind’s eye, all piled up like that Entrails and limbs, while mostly in a heap, scattered around and tainting the ground itself. He could never explain it to her. How frustrating that must be.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I didn’t mean to ask that.” When Kaya spoke, it pulled Jaycen from whatever he was thinking and he turned to look back at her, face neutral once more. His facial expressions were both amusing and terrifying, making Kaya reel at the way they could switch with the blink of an eye. If she wasn’t careful, she would miss the next one and it was the only way she could tell what he was thinking. Kaya wondered if he was an open with his expressions as he was now he was a werewolf as he had been when he was human.

Realising she hadn’t yet asked about it, Kaya looked at Jaycen’s left hand, to his missing finger. It was a phenomenal feat of strength, defeating all but one human like that. They weren’t just anyone either, they had been sent by the king, elite soldiers like he had once been. Perhaps that gave him the advantage over them. Kaya could never understand how he was feeling at that moment. She didn’t think she could ask as to just what he was doing there curled up at the base of the platform. She could only speculate that the witch had something to do with it.

As Kaya opened her mouth to speak, Jaycen looked right at her, silencing whatever question she had in an instant. He had a curious look on his face, doing his usual head tilt and looking her up and down as he had done before, as much as could be done from where she was sitting. Then she realised why he just might be looking at her like that. 

“Oh my, I just thought!” She exclaimed. “You’ve been sitting here this entire time without a fuss while I ask you all this, and I haven’t told you a single thing about myself. I’m so rude.” Feeling a little braver despite a lingering feeling of unease, natural in the presence of a werewolf for sure, Kaya carefully climbed off the rock, movements steady so Jaycen would understand what she was doing. No sudden moves here.

Kaya stood up straight once she down from the rock, only around chest height to Jaycen in his seated position.

He was a soldier once, so she bowed a little, inclining her head and removing him from her sight. Hopefully, it would show him just how much she was trusting him not to kill her.

“My name is Kaya Summerwood, I was born in Erstweald; lived here all my life.” She began. “My family own a horse breeding farm. It’s been in the family for generations, starting from nothing and gradually it’s become the most successful in the country. We even sell the horses to the royal family now, sometimes to other nations too.” Kaya leant back against the rock she had been sitting on, interlinking her fingers in front of her and crossing one ankle over the other. “I’m the eldest of four siblings made up of a sister and twin brothers. I guess my parents want us to take over the running of the farm eventually, but the problem is that I’m not sure I want to.”

Jaycen shifted at that, looking at her in the eyes again. They almost seemed to ask her why. “It’s not really my thing, you see. I like horses, but not enough to dedicate my life to them.” She reached up to Jaycen’s book still resting on the rock. “I’m too busy reading these and according to many people I know, I spend far too much time with my nose in them.” Kaya chuckled a little. If she had a coin for all the times that had been said to her, she was sure she wouldn’t be living on a horse farm in Erstweald, that’s for sure.

Kaya explained a little further about herself; the friends she made in school, how she came to like books so much, the type of stories she reads. Before she knew it, she was delving into obscure details like her favourite food, the preferred way she styled her hair, how much she disliked the summer season and how nothing exciting ever seemed to happen to her.

“Well, I suppose that isn’t entirely true now that I’ve met you. That is pretty exciting.” Kaya had slid down the rock to sit upright against it on the grassy bank of the pond. She then realised Jaycen had actually inched a little closer to her since she began speaking, and he seemed to huff in amusement at her last statement. “It’s true!” Kaya went with it. “You might think otherwise for yourself, but meeting you is the most eventful thing that has ever happened to me.” She laughed.  
Jaycen studied her for a moment before huffing again, head shaking as if he didn’t believe himself to be that exciting, but took her word for it nonetheless.

***

With each passing day around noon, Kaya found herself sitting by the pond in the clearing, slightly irritated that the days were getting increasingly warmer and uncomfortable, but her entire being would relax when she saw Jaycen emerge. On one occasion, he was even at the pond before she got there. It had now been close to a month since she first found that clearing.

It was a secret, and it felt like she was doing something illegal that nobody should know about. What would her family and friends say? What would anyone say if they could see her? Sat beside a werewolf who, also with each passing day, had grown more comfortable in the presence of his newfound companion.

Kaya didn’t feel in danger around Jaycen anymore like she had at the beginning. He was no threat to her and he had made that clear. Even though she was the only one with a voice, the conversation most definitely went both ways. Kaya had learnt to read Jaycen’s body language, figuring out what sort of mood he was in. Even if he wasn’t feeling up for anything, he would still come to the clearing to meet Kaya and had not missed a single day. Always on time, always there, a warm presence by her side.

As the days got hotter still, too hot for the clothes of spring, Kaya caught herself worrying over a corn silk blue dress she had pulled from the depths of her wardrobe; would Jaycen like it? It was fitted, armless except to cover her shoulders with a considerate yet bordering on dangerous V-neck that sloped down to reveal the slightest visual of the mounds of her breasts.

When she realised what she was doing, she laughed, mentally slapping herself. Why would a werewolf care about what she wore?

 _Because he is a human inside_ , said her mind. That’s right, Jaycen was a human, a man. Male.

Kaya’s eyes slid to one of her bookshelves. The book on canid creatures had long been returned to the library, but the additional illicit drawings had not been. They were tucked inside an autobiography of a famous artist, cleverly hidden within the pages of the nondescript book. It had been a while since Kaya had looked at them. It had been a while since she had let them get to her, really get to her, like they had the first time she had seen them.

Could she do what that woman had done? When she had examined the drawings a little closer, she realised it wasn’t a bunch of different women, but the same person and the same werewolf. A couple, almost, albeit a strange one.

Kaya was unable to find out anything else about humans copulating with werewolves, but in her search of the bizarre she had discovered that women of the past did go out of their way to seek such encounters. The library archives were so large they couldn’t possibly keep track of everything that came through it, as many books and scrolls were donated in. As a result, Kaya had found some old reports of a scouting group, and learned more about that group of women who couldn’t seem to conceive, turned to the satyrs to help.

Ah, satyrs. Lascivious and crude, licentious and unrelenting, satyrs were an embodiment of sexual desire and their virility knew no bounds. When a woman couldn’t get pregnant, she would offer herself to the satyrs, who would without fail, make her so. It seemed to become a small spring season tradition in parts of the world, with each season that came along would see women come back pregnant from a trip to the forest. Spring was the season of renewal and new life, after all.

After this discovery, Kaya supposed it wasn’t too wild a thought to not only get off on the idea and her fantasies, but perhaps act them out in reality. What other creatures of the wilderness had humans sought out to seek such pleasures?

Donning the blue dress and heading down to the clearing, Kaya decided she would at least try to see if Jaycen would even be interested in such a thing, or if she was simply losing her mind to her newly revealed sexual desires that tried to claim her each night she closed her eyes. Jaycen hadn’t done anything to show he was interested in anything else but her company, as Kaya had started to bring along different books to read to him, which he seemed to enjoy.

She had even nodded off in the afternoon warmth one day, only to wake up with his huge head in her lap. It had been the first time Kaya had touched him, as she had lifted her head to gently touch the space between his ears, his eyes had flown open at the last moment, head rearing back. Kaya thought she had ruined the moment in trying to touch him, even as he had blatantly initiated contact, but instead, he simply pushed his head against her hand when she kept it lifted up. Soft, warm and thick fur had met her fingertips, and although Kaya was sure that was what it would have felt like, she was surprised all the same.

After that day, things had changed. She could touch him whenever she liked and Jaycen would actively seek her touch, whether it be on his head or shoulder or back, it seemed to like it even so.

But that was it. That was as far as it went. Kaya decided she would just have to use her initiative and take a step further. The worst thing he could do at this point would be to leave. The thought saddened her more than it should have. It was how Kaya now found herself sitting with over a ledge of the pond, feet swirling the water below and racking her brain for a way to make it clear she would be up for more. But how to do it?

Currently, Jaycen himself was waist deep in the water and hunched low, crouched to all fours before leaping further in and causing a huge splash, the lily pads dispersing in the force of the water. Kaya laughed, he had obviously seen something worth diving underneath for and it was quite a sight watching him resurface completely drenched, water pouring from his fur. He had missed his target in the blind headfirst dive, but Kaya could not contain her laughter as he resurfaced.

“What made you do that?” She managed to ask through her mirth, sides hurting while Jaycen looked utterly crestfallen that he hadn’t caught what he was after, and as the water calmed again he pointed just to her left where Kaya spied a beautiful iridescent fish. It was barely longer than her thumb and lightning quick as she watched several of them gather then scatter around in the water. It was no surprise he hadn’t caught one.

Jaycen pulled himself out of the lake, far enough away from Kaya that when he did exactly what she thought he would do that she didn’t get covered in water droplets. In the most animal move she had seen so far, Jaycen shook the water from his fur and almost rendering himself completely dry. Satisfied, he made his way back over to her and got comfortable in the grass and close enough to the ledge that he could look down and watch the shiny fish that had evaded him.

It was in that moment, Kaya found her reasoning to make her intent clear. The day was classically warm with no wind, making it all very uncomfortable. Kaya felt hot and was sure she looked it too with her pale skin reacting the way it usually did. Going for a swim would be a great idea, secondary intentions or not.

Gathering her courage, she stood. “What a good idea, Jaycen.” Reaching behind to undo the strings of her dress, she refused to make eye contact as she pulled it down her front until it fell to the ground.

Suddenly fearful of what she would see, Kaya pictured all sorts of negative expressions on Jaycen’s face. What if she was all wrong about this? What if he didn’t want this as much as Kaya had realised that she did? Despite everything that Jaycen was, Kaya could only see the man underneath. He was handsome, anyone who looked close enough could see that. His remaining humanoid features retained everything that represented masculinity. He was strong, with well-defined muscles across his chest, arms and back. They continued down to his thighs and were hard to miss when he crouched or sat, which he often did. Even his neck was thick with muscle as it supported his head. A long muzzle, pointed ears and those eyes that Kaya could get lost in.

Jaycen was particularly good at maintaining eye contact and he knew it. On more than a few occasions, intentionally or not, he had made Kaya squirm a little, and not in discomfort. Surely he could smell the way his gaze excited her.

With these things in mind, she turned her head to look down at him, heartbeat quickly doubling when she saw the way he was looking at her.

Jaycen slowly appraised her almost naked self, eyes roving over her form. She was sure they could look right into her soul if he looked hard enough. It sent a thrill of excitement through her, boosting her confidence enough that she freed herself of her undergarments, now completely naked, and stepped off the ledge and into the pond’s cool water. It was refreshing, incredibly so, and Kaya didn’t understand why she hadn’t done this sooner since first finding this place. Submerging underneath the surface before pushing herself upright and coming back up for air, the pond came to Kaya’s shoulders in depth, and she could touch the bottom made up from mossy rocks and gravel. The water was deep enough that it conveniently revealed nothing if she didn’t want it to; Jaycen would have to just use his imagination which Kaya was sure he would manage.  
Pushing back her hair, its auburn colours almost becoming a dark brown when wet, she turned to face Jaycen back on the ledge.

“Why don’t you come back in? This was your idea.” She grinned at him and he almost seemed to do the same back to her. He shook his head though, deciding he would rather watch her swim around and he scooted closer to the edge of where he was laying, head almost over the ledges edge itself and piercing gaze following her every move.  
Kaya played along, deciding to let him satisfy a little voyeurism. She dove underneath the water once more, positive that she flashed her behind at him, resurfacing again just a few feet from where she went under but making sure she didn’t face him so Jaycen would only see her back.

Maybe she was teasing him, just a little.

Kaya pushed a few lily pads out of her way, the water around her stilling enough that she could see her feet touching the ground and the beautiful fish that Jaycen had tried to catch. The cool water relaxed her body, chasing away the heat of summer and making her flushed skin return to its normal pale colour. A very slight breeze made the parts of her that were not submerged in water feel chilly, and Kaya bent her knees a little to bring the water up to her chin.

Hearing a noise behind her, Jaycen had stood to all fours, still watching her closely. Kaya turned to face him, maintaining his eye contact, a smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth. He motioned with his head towards the bank, towards the moss covered rock Kaya would usually sit atop. She hesitated, watching him rise to his two legs and walk over to it himself. He waited for her.

Kaya realised in order for her to go to him as he wanted, he she would have to rise out of the water and completely expose herself to him. It wouldn’t be the first time she had done so for a man, but it felt different with Jaycen. She had to see this through, there would be time to speculate later.

Jaycen had not picked up her dress and it still remained on the bank where Kaya had removed it, along with her undergarments.

Doing a quick scan of her surroundings, she was still very much _outside_ and _naked_ and it felt a little strange to Kaya. Of course there was nobody around, but with being naked outside such a rarity in her daily life she couldn’t help but to check for anyone else that might be spying on them. And if there was? May they learn not to ever again with what they were about to witness.

Kaya took a deep breath and walked towards Jaycen, each step revealing more of herself to him until there was nothing left to hide. She came to a stop before him, water running down her body in rivulets, the warm air already drying some of them out.

Raising her head to look at Jaycen properly, she watched him crouch to her level, bringing his own head close to hers, he brought a hand up to cup her cheek, mindful of his claws. Kaya’s breathing quickened, the closeness of him and the gentleness of his touch surprised her. She sighed into his caress on her cheek and hoped he could sense just how okay she was with this. But in case he wasn’t;

“Jaycen, I want you to know something.” Kaya whispered to him. “I like you, maybe more than I should and I don’t really know how to go about this, I just know that I want you. You’re unlike anything I’ve ever seen, unlike anyone I’ve ever met and I’m so glad to have found you, even if it was purely by chance.” Kaya took a small step closer, she was in his space now and she could feel his body heat and smell the forest scent that he carried with him. She reached out to touch his cheek in return, running her hand down along his neck to his shoulder, along his arm to where his hand still remained against her. A deep and low sound came from him, almost a purr, and it sent a shiver down Kaya’s spine, fanning the flames of her imminent arousal.

Jaycen moved next, gently pulling her at first towards him but then down onto her back, encouraging her to lay on the grass behind them both. She did so, suddenly very nervous when he approached, closing her eyes and unsure what to expect. When nothing initially happened, Kaya opened her eyes and found Jaycen watching her closely. He tilted his head, the deep purr-like sound returning for a moment and he nuzzled his head against her bare chest.

_It’s okay, I won’t hurt you._

Kaya relaxed again. Everything would be fine; it was time to enjoy herself.

She ran her hands through the fur on his head, sighing in pleasure as Jaycen rose up a little, his wet nose trailing a cold line to her left breast. His tongue covered her nipple for a moment and she gasped, arching into the sensation. He moved across to her other breast, giving it the same treatment before moving down, tongue dipping into her navel then moving further south. Kaya felt his tongue on the inside of her thigh, hot and wet, it made her insides clench, her toes curl and made her grip handfuls of grass beneath her. Jaycen teased around the edge of her slit, knowing that it was driving her wild before finally giving her what she wanted.

Kaya spread her legs wide, crying out as she felt his tongue lick over the pearl of her clit before pushing into her depths. It felt better than anything she had ever felt before, and she found herself pushing against him in an effort to get his tongue deeper. Jaycen relished her taste, licking a broad stripe through her folds from her entrance to her clit and back again, repeating the process to get the sounds coming from Kaya on a louder scale.

Mindful of his claws, Kaya felt his hands push her legs up so her feet no longer touched the grass before continuing his ministrations. His tongue probed deep, deeper than any man could do, and it had Kaya curling her toes and arch her back. Moaning her pleasure to the hazy clouds above, she could already feel the beginnings of her orgasm creeping up her. That warm feeling spread, winding tighter as Jaycen ate her out, curling his tongue in a merciless attack on her core. He switched between assaulting her bud and diving into her opening and Kaya couldn’t keep up with the sensations, only focusing on the coiling pleasure low in her belly.

While one of her hands ran into her own hair, the other reached for Jaycen, entwining her fingers in the soft fur of his head as he curled his tongue upwards, pressing firmly against her upper wall and that was what it took to send her falling over the edge. The hot twisting pleasure of her orgasm flashed up her spine, pooling outwards into every nerve ending she had, mouth open on a moan that sent some birds scattering into flight.

Jaycen didn’t stop until Kaya found herself overly sensitive from his tongue, and she laughed, playfully pushing his head away. He relented and rose up to look at her once more, lowering her legs and gently running one hand along her side.

Kaya smiled at him, feeling it just tug the corners of her mouth in her euphoria as she came down from the orgasmic high. Jaycen shifted back a little, reaching below him, and for the first time, Kaya saw what she would be working with. No longer hidden between his legs, Jaycen’s cock revealed itself. It was thick and long and just like the drawings hidden away in Kaya’s bedroom, it was mostly human shaped apart from the flared tip and bulbous base of flesh that made up his knot.

For a fleeting moment, Kaya wondered if it would ever fit inside her, but as Jaycen approached, any apprehension she had faded. Seemingly sensing her hesitation, Jaycen nuzzled up against her cheek, taking his cock in one hand while bracing himself upright with the other. Kaya pushed back against him, and he took that as a cue to begin.  
Positioning himself, Jaycen rubbed himself against the outside everywhere but Kaya’s entrance, purposefully teasing her and making her tighten her grip on his shoulders. She was so wet, so ready for him and yet he denied her, choosing instead in this moment to tease her and test the boundaries of her lust.

Kaya could feel the pressure of him. It was burning, igniting the fires within her to want to take this further, to do what she had wanted from the moment she had seen those drawings. She had never admitted it out loud, only in her mind, but was there a better time than now? With the object of her desire presented right in front of her? The pressure had only to breach, to push inside of her and she would finally be sated, finally experiencing the peak of what she craved. With one final moment of thought, Jaycen breached her walls, pushing the head of his cock against her hole, testing its limitations as Kaya felt herself instantly yield to his advances.

She gave in, she gave all of herself, every muscle in her body relaxing as she felt him push open the deepest parts of her. For a moment, it hurt, but it also felt so good. So good was the burn that spread from her deepest depths to every fibre of her being.

She was on fire.

Jaycen pushed past the last of her resistance, forcing it to yield and much to Kaya’s delight, and she felt the slide of him upwards inside her. Sighing her pleasure on an exhale, Kaya’s relaxed body accepted everything Jaycen had to offer. He pressed against her, steadily, until there was nothing left to push in, having reached the base of his cock where his knot was located. Kaya screamed her pleasure to the blue sky above, its light steadily fading away into the oncoming evening.

The aftershocks of Kaya’s earlier orgasm seemed to linger and threatened to reignite as she felt Jaycen against every inch of her. He was bigger than the few men she had taken in her life, and that thought of just how this would actually work resurfaced for a moment. Kaya looked down to reassure herself more than anything and was just able to see his knot pressing up against her.

She could do this.

Gasping out, unsure of either in surprise or pleasure or perhaps a mix a both, Kaya watched as Jaycen pulled back a little before pushing in again, making her feel the drag in and out. And so he began his pleasurable onslaught, pulling back slowly before thrusting forward, making Kaya’s breath catch each time as if she wasn’t expecting it, but was pleased with the surprise, the motion.

Each time Jaycen drove forward, Kaya pushed back and each time he did so, white hot pleasure shot through her veins. She found a rhythm which he easily matched and steadily grew in pace as they continued. Finding it difficult to control her voice, she huffed a breath with every thrust. This was better than anything she could have imagined and Kaya was sure Jaycen had ruined her for any other man. Nobody could ever hope to feel the way he did inside her. So deep, so far inside. Looking down once more, Kaya could feel the edge of her pleasure rising up again to claim her, helpless to hold it back. The only thing that he wasn’t doing was pushing in his knot, although she could almost tell he wanted to.  
The way his ears were flattened to his head, eyes focused, mouth slightly open, Kaya knew he was somewhere else and that place was in her. So she brought her legs up higher to wrap around his waist, locking her ankles together behind his back and pulling him in in their shared movements, encouraging him to go harder, faster, deeper.

As Kaya’s second orgasm overwhelmed her body and mind, head thrown back and mouth open on a scream, Jaycen’s hands took a hold of her hips. Ever mindful of his claws, he growled in pleasure as Kaya felt her walls clench down on him in the rippling waves of ecstasy. He bent forward, licking once at her neck before straightening back up a little, his hips continuing to piston up into her and dragging out every last bit of her orgasm that was possible.

Jaycen slowed his pace but it did not relent in its force which pushed Kaya’s breath from her lungs in exuberance. Through her hazy come-down, she caught sight of his eyes again, perhaps even more focused than before as he began to thrust at a specific angle. Kaya wasn’t sure how much more she could take as she felt his cock reach even deeper inside her, creating a pressure as she felt it press against her cervix.

It hurt for a moment as each press seemed to kiss the gateway to her womb, of which Jaycen seemed to notice her sudden slight frown. He slowed further, caressing her sides as a deep contented sigh left him. He bent forward once more, still lazily thrusting as his cold nose made contact with her left nipple. Suppressing a surprised squeal that quickly turned to a pleased moan from herself, Kaya relaxed her vice grip from around Jaycen’s waist as he lavished her nipple with his tongue. Hands gently massaging her own waist with a careful squeeze, Kaya ran her fingers through the fur on his head, reaching down to his shoulders and back up again. He was so soft and she could touch him like that all day long.  
Somewhat distracted in her musings over his soft fur and wondering when the lingering oversensitivity from her orgasm will finally fade, Kaya suddenly felt the tip of Jaycen’s cock press more firmly at her boundary. She gasped loudly, fingers clasping his shoulders more firmly but whether to encourage the action or make him desist, Kaya wasn’t sure. Jaycen has slowed himself right down, the motions of his steady movements making her hyperaware of every bit of his cock as it dragged along her walls, his knot now catching on her rim and sending exquisite tingles of pleasure up her spine.

Surely there was no way that part of him would fit inside her? If Jaycen pushed that far in to his base, then without a doubt he would breach her cervix. But the combined feeling of Jaycen’s tongue on her breasts, the feel of his hands on her waist and the delightfully slow push and pull of his dick that made her appreciate just how big he really is was all incredibly distracting. Two orgasms and she felt like she was floating, her muscles feeling tired and her eyes feeling heavy. She could have happily taken a nap and still let Jaycen continue having his way with her. It was with that thought in mind that Kaya pushed her legs as wide as they would go, reaching a hand down to feel where they were joined.  
She was still soaking wet, covering Jaycen’s knot with evidence of her lasting arousal. Her fingertips made contact with his knot and gently touched the expansive flesh. It was smooth to the touch and gave a little under pressure but it was also firm and round and big; suddenly Kaya wanted nothing more than to have it up inside her.

“Please,” She whispered to him in his ear. “I can take it.” Jaycen drew back a little, his eyes searching hers. He had been teasing her with it for the last few minutes and she was done waiting for it. She nodded her approval. “Give it to me.”

With that as her final confirmation, Jaycen’s pace picked back up a little. It was still steady and controlled and as determined as he was to make sure not to cause her any harm, he was also determined to finish this and make it as a pleasurable experience as he could for Kaya. She appreciated that more than anything and it turned her on even more. Having to ask him to take her harder and deeper and now, to have him knot her tight, was thrilling in a way Kaya hadn’t felt before.

She was learning an awful amount of new things about herself recently.

Without anything to hold him back, Jaycen pushed up and into Kaya, with each thrust she could feel her cervix yielding under the assault. The two sensations of the tip of his cock and the base were maddening and she had no idea just which one to focus on. The only thing Kaya could do was hold on, keep her legs wide, let him keep fucking her like this, to keep letting him use her, take what he wanted and give her she what she craved.

She could hardly believe when she felt a third orgasm creeping up on her, building in a tight coil of hot pleasure that centralised in her belly, ready to snap. She chased the feeling, bearing down hard against the pressure of her cervix, finally releasing the last bit of resistance that her body tried to keep. Three things happened at once: Kaya came hard, Jaycen’s knot pressed inside her opening and the flared tip of his dick penetrated her cervix. The sensations made her breath catch in her throat resulting in a choked sob of an attempted scream, her body unsure what to react to first. Body aflame, her head dizzy with buzzing nerve endings and she was sure she was about to pass out, especially when the feeling of Jaycen’s knot widening inside her made her cry out. She gripped his shoulders hard, forcing herself to concentrate on one thing at a time. Kaya reached down again between them, finding nothing but the soft fur of his pelvic region now that his knot was buried where it wanted to be.

Holding on to a shred of consciousness, Kaya watched as Jaycen threw his head back, lost in his own euphoria, opened his mouth and _howled._

A bone chilling sound, high pitched before lowering into something deeper, something shrewd. It made his entire body vibrate with the effort to conjure such a sound and Kaya watched with fascination as the sound tapered off before finishing completely, Jaycen lowering his head once more to look at her. The searing eye contact distracting Kaya for hardly more than a few seconds before the pressure in her cervix became warm and heavy as Jaycen began to come. His seed pumping out in hot spurts deep inside her, three, four, five times, settling in her womb and filling her up just as much as his knot was further down. It sealed her opening to a close, an attempt to make sure not a drop of his semen would spill when he would eventually pull out.

When that would be, Kaya wasn’t sure as all she could feel and focus on was just how much he was pumping her with. The spurts of come had slowed but were no less in their volume. Jaycen’s head rested on her shoulder and the hand that Kaya had reached down with only a moment ago now raised up to feel her lower belly and just how full she was beginning to feel.

She lost count of the pulses his cock made as he came. She lost track of time, blissed out after three orgasms and muscles aching in all the right ways. The pressure of Jaycen deep inside her was still very much there, a feeling she would most definitely be needing to feel again in the future at some point. It was then she noticed that the slightest movement from both herself and him, tugged on the knot now stuck inside her. She had no comparison to how big it was, most definitely larger than her clenched fist. She couldn’t stop the natural desire to clamp down on it, causing Jaycen to huff and groan as he continued to come inside her.

It hurt ever so slightly but was easily overridden by the fragments of her earlier orgasms, the tips of her fingers and toes tingling and head feeling cloudy with delight. Kaya’s hand on her belly moved out the way so she could spare a glance down, mouth falling open in surprise. With her womb so full of Jaycen’s seed, there was a slight curve, a gradual expansion. Just how much was he going to give her? She had most certainly asked for it, but Kaya had never expected this. The sight was more than a little arousing and although her nether regions pulsed in response to yet another erotic vision before her, the rest of Kaya’s spent body cowered at the thought of yet another orgasm.

Instead, she relaxed in the grass underneath her, feeling exhaustion wash over her and tug at her eyelids. With Jaycen still buried deep within her, come having finally ceased and now gently nibbling and licking at her earlobe and neck, Kaya returned one hand on the slight mound of her belly and allowed the exertion of their joined efforts to finally claim her into sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaya tries to get on with life, keeps Jaycen a secret and meets a familiar face in the strangest place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, there is a wonderful piece of fanart created by Katt (@Koochie_minks) on Twitter for the moments between Kaya and Jaycen when they're resting by the water's edge. Go check it out! I was not expecting something like that to happen and to have someone sit down and take the time to create a physical representation of something I conjured up in my mind, is simply awesome. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right with being as descriptive as I can, that it helps artwork become a reality. Thank you Katt! 
> 
> https://twitter.com/Koochie_minks/status/1263212011472719881

When Kaya opened her eyes, she found herself laying on her side in the grass by the pond. The air was chilly now that the sun had mostly set, making the trees nothing but black outlines with no detail and the sky a beautiful mix of dark blue, orange and pink.

She bolted upright upon realising just how late it was. She was supposed to be home before sundown! She panicked a moment when she realised she was still naked, eyes scanning for her werewolf companion. She found him curled up just a few feet away, almost hidden in the oncoming darkness of the night, his colouring the perfect nocturnal camouflage. She could still make out his shape though and as she had sat upright so quickly, he had raised his head in just as much alarm as her.

She sighed deeply, feeling a little pain, a dull ache, all the way up to her navel. The back ached too and her legs felt like jelly. How she was supposed to walk the hour journey back to the forest edge and then the further fifteen minutes or so of mostly uphill back to her house? She had no idea.

Jaycen stretched himself out, quickly moving over to her and nudging her with his head.

“Well, hello there.” She murmured to him. “I’m alright, if you’re concerned.” He looked up at her, his impressive yellow eyes strangely bright in the impending dark of the early evening. He seemed to take her word for it before reaching behind him, offering Kaya her dress. Steadily and with the assistance of leaning on him, Kaya stood up, pulling her dress back on, smoothing out some creases and securing everything in place. She noticed she still had a lingering expansion to her lower belly, appearing as if she had consumed a large meal. Kaya ran her hand over it, drawing Jaycen’s attention. With the way her dress was assembled, it was completely hidden from view and would remain her secret with him.  
She pointed at her belly. “This will go down, right?” Kaya asked him. Jaycen lowered his head to nudge it with his nose for a moment, eyes searching hers before he eventually nodded.

That was good. She would not enjoy wearing slightly loose dresses for the next few weeks when she had some slim fitting ones that were much more appealing. The season of summer might have just begun and was part of her namesake, but Kaya was intrinsically looking forward to the end of it; the autumn equinox.

Having dressed and checked herself for any scrapes or bruises, both surprised and relieved to find there were none, Jaycen had decided to carry her to the outskirts of the forest. His strides double the length of hers meaning he got to the edge in half the time it would have taken her. Carefully place her down on her feet, Kaya reached out to Jaycen, slowly wrapping her arms around his waist. He had crouched a little in order for her to reach his midsection properly. After a moment, he returned her affection, still ever aware of his claws on her back and sides as he held her in a warm embrace.

“I’ll return tomorrow if I can, but if not, perhaps I shall see you the day after?” Kaya felt like she was a teenager, awkwardly asking for a second date after the first going so well, but Jaycen assured her she was anything but. His muzzle brushed her cheek and he nodded, a contented sigh coming from deep within his chest.

Kaya said her goodbyes to Jaycen before she could make herself feel more awkward, and began her trek back to her house. She was surely going to be in trouble for coming home late, but she was a grown-ass woman and her parents would just have to deal with that. Besides, her sister often showed up late or not at all until the morning on occasion.

Kaya listened to some stern words from her mother when she came through the door, backed up with a grunt from her father who was much too interested in putting his smoking pipe back together, before she headed up the stairs to run a bath. Eternally grateful that her family had invested in pressure pipes that connected to the kingdom’s water supply, all Kaya had to do was wait for the water in the brass tub to heat once she got the charcoals glowing orange beneath it.

Adding some scented oils to the water, she stripped off her dress and lowered herself into water, feeling the heat seep into her bones. The day’s events played back in her mind. She had slept with a werewolf. She had been ravished by an apparent creature of legend who was very much a reality, and not just any creature at that. Jaycen, the last remaining werewolf. Pondering over how he had survived that long was fruitless as Kaya assumed it was the curse itself keeping him alive. As she was to get older, she supposed he would just stay the same age, trapped forever in that form and watching the world go by. He had been doing it already for almost a century.

Kaya’s thoughts then strayed to the drawings she had found in her rented library book. Considering what she had just done and what those drawings were illustrating, Kaya found it incredibly likely that there were other women out there who had done what she had done today, there simply had to be. There was no way she was the only one.  
Jaycen had been exceptionally careful with her, testing her limits before exceeding them but only when she told him to, always aware of the knifelike claws at the ends of fingers so he didn’t slice her open. He was precise in his movements and without uttering a single word, even if he could, had communicated not only what he wanted but also made her aware of what she wanted before she even knew what that actually was.

It was all too practiced, which raised a question in her mind: had he…done this before? First she finds drawings, then she goes and has sex with Jaycen, essentially bringing those drawings to life. Kaya thought everything over while she soaked in the wonderfully hot water until it went cold and she was forced to get out. She caught a glimpse of her naked body in the mirror above the sink, seeing a third person perspective of her mound of a belly. Her womb was stuffed with his seed and despite Jaycen pulling out of her and moving her onto her side so she could sleep, it seemed nothing had come out of her. Had he been inside her long enough for it to settle for a long period of time? It felt a little heavy, but it wasn’t something Kaya felt would bother her. It was simply evidence of their tryst, a parting gift that she had taken home like something she could buy at the summer fair.  
Pulling on a loose linen nightgown, she collapsed into bed and allowed sleep to claim her fully until morning.

***

Waking early at the sounds of mother and sister bickering about something in the bathroom across the hall, Kaya stretched out her limbs and felt incredibly refreshed. Whether it was the bath or the intense sex, she wasn’t sure, but damn if she didn’t feel great.

Kaya got out of bed, brushing her hair and styling it in the floor length mirror before digging around her wardrobe for something comfortable to wear. It was a Sunday she realised, but there was still work to be done around the farm. Standing upright, Kaya caught her reflection in the mirror when she pulled off her nightgown.

Her belly was flat, as if nothing had happened to it at all, as if it hadn’t been filled with the hot come of a werewolf. For one horrifying moment, Kaya thought it had oozed out of her in her sleep. Checking between her legs then pulling back the covers to check the sheets, she found nothing. It was as if quite literally nothing had ever happened yesterday. Had her body absorbed it? Was that even possible? Was that why she was feeling so good? Chalking it up to some werewolf magic she would probably never understand, Kaya got dressed and headed out of her bedroom to begin the day.

Mira caught her by the front door as Kaya used the mirror hanging there to make sure the loose bun she pulled her hair up into looked half decent. She crowded behind her so she couldn’t immediately get away, a smirk pulling at her lips. So her parents might not have given her an earful about her showing up late last night, but Mira was about to.

“So, where were you last night?” She asked, arms folded across her chest. Kaya made eye contact with Mira in the mirror before resuming fixing her hair.

“Out.” She replied.

“Out where?”

“Just out, reading and stuff.”

“Reading and _stuff_?” Mire scoffed. “Come on, I know you better than that. I’m the one who comes home late, not you.”

Kaya sighed and turned to regard Mira, who backed up a little but kept her arms crossed and her gaze stern. There was a hint of worry in there though too.

“Mira, I really wasn’t doing anything. I was out at the forest’s edge because it’s nice and quiet down there, with a book and some snacks and just completely lost track of time. I guess I had too much sun and I fell asleep in some shade and by the time I woke up, it was dark and I knew I was in trouble. Not from you, though.”

Mira sighed too and her arms uncrossed to place on her hips.

“Look, you know all about the shit I get up to and you don’t tell anyone about it. I just thought that if you were up to something with someone that you would you tell me.” Mira’s delicate features softened and Kaya smiled at her. As much as she would love to tell her the truth, she couldn’t.

“If that ever happens, you will be the first to know, I promise.” Kaya squeezed Mira’s shoulder in reassurance. “Besides, who in Erstweald will go for someone like me? I dress shabby, smell of horses all the time and would much rather spend my time reading a book.”

“Oh please, you’re hot and you know it. Pale skin, auburn hair, green eyes. If you didn’t keep your nose down in a book all the time you would see who is actually looking.” Mira chuckled before heading back upstairs, leaving Kaya alone to head out to the yard.

Mira’s statement rolled around in her mind as she helped her father clean out the stalls of the mares they kept on the farm. The menagerie of horses were mostly made up of mares, with two of out the twelve horses they kept being stallions that lived there permanently and eight of the mares currently in foal. The offspring and the mares were kept on the farm for a year before moving on together, making way for a new mare to come along and begin the process again.

The success rate and the generations of long standing history of the Summerwood Farm meant that people sent their mares from other countries to stay with them and help create the next generation of war horses, steeplechasers or show horses. Five of the mares belonged to her parents and their foals were sold after they turned two years old.

It meant there was always an adorable little foal to fuss over, but meant that there was a lot of mouths to feed and always something to do. The day was hot once again as summer soldiered on. By the time the fair had finished after its week long run, Kaya had found herself with several more books to add to her collection, was making use of her new journal and quill, had sat the chunk of rose quartz on her windowsill and had even found a small carving of a horse made from marble. It was rearing up, its front legs pawing at the air. Cleaning the stalls always helped Kaya clear her mind of any oppressive thoughts and helped turn them into something more pleasant. Mira has said that if she stopped reading all the time, she would see who was looking. Whether that was a metaphor or a literal statement, Kaya could only wonder. The most recent occurrence of her stopping reading for a moment was when she had started to write in her new journal in the forest clearing, only to find a werewolf watching her. It almost made her laugh out loud.

As she went about the rest of the day, a courier delivered some mail just after lunch. The sound of the carriage wheels coming up the cobblestone path to the farm drew Kaya’s attention away from brushing the chestnut mare she was so fond of. This particular mare was not in foal and Kaya had quickly fallen for her gentle nature, beautiful coat and comfortable stride. It was too hot to ride today though, and she watched the courier climb down from his covered wagon, sweating through his shirt and feeling sorry for both him and the two grey horses pulling the wagon. At least the courier service chose grey horses rather than a dark colour, their light coats helping to reflect some of the intense sunshine if only for a while.

Kaya heard her mother calling her name from the front porch, looking over to see her waving some letters above her head and beckoning her inside. Putting down the brushes and leaving the mare to eat her hay, she went to see what her mother was excitedly yelling about.

When she found her in the kitchen, she had gathered the whole family around the breakfast table.

“Everyone, we have been formally invited to the Autumn Equinox Ball at the end of the season!” Her mother exclaimed excitedly. That was just over two months away. Mira bounced in her seat with joy, her brothers did some sort of clap with each other’s hands in the air and her father had a satisfied smile on his face. It was an important event for the nation, one only by royal invitation which the Summerwoods did not always get. They hadn’t for the last three years, irritating her parents to no end, but it was so selective and a lot of families and nobles would clamour to get in the kingdom’s favour to attend.

This year, it seems they were lucky. However, that meant one thing; dressing up. To say her mother and Mira liked doing that was a sore understatement. They loved it. Kaya, not so much. She was also quite sure that her father and brothers also enjoyed donning a nice tailored tunic for the occasion. After her mother ushered everyone back to work after a brief explanation that she would be making all the arrangements and they need not worry, Kaya headed up to her room.

She was not like Mira with her shining blond hair and blue bedroom eyes. Although she knew she didn’t exactly lack in the looks department, Kaya did not enjoy flaunting them. Opening her wardrobe doors and drawers of her cabinets revealed a very plain selection of clothes. Although she had a few dresses of colour, they were plain and simple, reflecting that Kaya would rather spend her own money and effort into things she actually enjoyed. No guesses for what that was, slowly taking over her room so that it smelt almost permanently of parchment and ink.

Kaya didn’t like dressing up. The last time she had to do so was for her sister’s eighteenth birthday and prior to that, the last Autumn Equinox Ball four years ago. Her mother had hired in some exuberant dressmakers and suit tailors, taken everyone into town for the day and Kaya had found herself surrounded by pretentious women poking and prodding her, taking her measurements and commanding her to stand still for more than a few minutes at a time. It had been downright awful, despite the resulting dress being a work of spectacular art.

All the hard work on the farm and years of history came with the price that occasionally, one must make an appearance at a fancy party and show the kingdom what they could do, and would continue to do for as long as the Summerwood lineage would last.

At least there was alcohol and food; it tasted much better when it didn’t cost a thing.

***

For the following two weeks, Kaya found herself spending all her free time with Jaycen in the forest clearing. Things were different now between them, she could feel it. Although the boundaries between them had steadily been closing since the first day they met, with Jaycen getting closer and closer until she could touch him freely, the way things were now Kaya had not expected, but was grateful for. On one day, he had brought her a gift.

A thick green vine in a semi-circle shape that had been intricately wrapped with smaller vines of varying colours. Tiny leaves, matching the colours of the tendrils they grew from, had sprouted in varying places like a miniature rainbow. As she held it, no bigger than both palms of her hands put together, she realised it resembled a horseshoe. She had of course told Jaycen what she and her family did for a living, and her chest swelled with a deep affection at the realisation that he had not only paid that much attention to her ramblings, but had clearly been working on this for a while and had thought carefully about what she might like to receive.

The hug that she gave him was returned just as enthusiastically and then promptly turned into yet another tryst that involved Kaya a naked and panting mess of euphoria. She didn’t think she would ever have as much sex with someone else as she would have with Jaycen. After the first time, he quickly learned what got her going and vice versa. He figured out when to hold her down and take her and when to let her sit atop him and have her ride him until she could no longer hold herself up. To clean up, she swam in the pond, finally watching Jaycen catch one of the colourful fish, much his satisfaction and her amusement.

However, Kaya had noticed that he refused to knot her again, releasing his essence inside her still but nowhere near the level of the deep penetration like the first time. In the midst of him buried inside her and about to fall off the precipice, she would beg him to give it to her, to take what he wanted and what she needed but he never did. Kaya almost began to miss the heavy pressure and slight burn the initial breach made. It was the only time she had passed out from the pleasure and was sure it would only ever be the thing that made her do so in her lifetime.

When Kaya questioned it, Jaycen didn’t give her an answer. If he could still speak, she was sure he would, but even when Kaya told him that it didn’t hurt and that she already trusted him to never hurt her, he used his physical disadvantage to his advantage, remaining in permanent stoic silence.

Kaya didn’t question him again, deciding that one day he might change his mind and let loose. Until then, she wouldn’t deny that she was having the best sex of her life. After each time they finished and she had cleaned up, Kaya would lay on the grass with Jaycen’s head resting on her belly. He seemed to like doing that and did it more and more often.

So far, Kaya had cleverly avoided her sister’s second glances her way whenever she came in close to being considered late, had evaded being in trouble with her parents as she still did her chores and remained hardworking. The days counting down to the Ball were becoming less and less and with just six weeks to go, Kaya and Mira found themselves in the same dressmaker’s shop in the city centre as the family had used before.

It was another stifling day, the air thick and muggy and made the sweat on Kaya’s brow feel like a second skin. It was starting to form on the small of her back and between her shoulder blades and she was certain it was soon collate between her breasts. Nobody else seemed to be feeling as hot as she was but recently, very warm was the only temperature she felt.

Thankfully, the dressmaker’s shop was blessedly cool as the owner, a short plump lady with wizened greying hair, had made the decision to hire some servants to waft air over them and the surrounding room with large fans donned with peacock feathers. Normally, Kaya wouldn’t approve of such a thing, but today was her exception. Lady Florence de Castvar was a very wealthy woman and she could do what she liked with her money.

Her shop was almost exactly the same as Kaya remembered it from four years ago, simply called “Gowns by Castvar”, it gave a thought that the results would not be so elegant, but that would be a gross misunderstanding. Lady Florence de Castvar was anything but. She was the type of woman who drank sparkling wine mixed with orange juice for breakfast, a lunch of salad and quails eggs, had exotic tea and sugary cakes in the afternoon and then a small fillet of lamb in a red wine sauce in the evening. She enjoyed everything that Kaya disliked about the world. The Summerwoods could only occasionally afford what she did every day and hiring servants who dare not make eye contact was the icing on one of her fancy cakes.

She grinned and bared the process of standing on a small podium next to Mira’s own, being stripped down to her undergarments and having two petite blonde assistants start taking measurements. Mira was loving it, opening speaking with Lady Florence about the colour of dress that might suit her the most to make her eyes sparkle and contrast nicely with her hair, whereas Kaya stood as still as she could and simply listened. She had no idea what colour dress would make her eyes “pop” and her hair look brighter, and she didn’t care. She would just very much like to get off the podium and dive into a lake of ice cold water.

Just as her mind drifted to the forest clearing and how amazing the pond’s crystalline water would feel on her skin right now, especially when a certain werewolf would join her and help push her hair out of her eyes, run his hands down her sides, lightly touch the tip of one claw down her back and send a pleasant chill down her spine, how the heat would pool and clench inside her…

“Earth to Kaya!” Lady Florence’s voice snapped her back to reality, pulling her from her daydreaming before she became too immersed in it. “Welcome back! Please focus.” Fingers clicked in her face and Kaya muttered an apology, wiping sweat from her brow. Lady Florence continued to stare at her, face now etched with concern. “Are you alright, dear?” She asked.

“Yes, of course.” Kaya replied, but Lady Florence didn’t look convinced. She ushered a servant to supply Kaya with a glass of water, which Kaya took and gulped it down. The ice in it was so cold it burned, but it quelled the heat within her for a moment.

“Is that better?” Lady Florence asked, a servant offering a cool damp cloth to Kaya on a silver tray. Kaya nodded, not sure she could speak past the rush of cold that stole her breath for a moment. She took the rag and held it to her forehead, her skin instantly absorbing the moisture from it. Why was she so hot all the time recently? Maybe the heat had gotten to her head and permanently raised her body temperature to this new level that she would have to get used to.

Thankfully, to Kaya’s pleasure and Mira’s disappointment, Lady Florence had taken enough measurements for the day and announced she would send some design ideas and styles to the house directly so Kaya and Mira could choose what they would like and go from there. On the way out of the shop and back into the muggy air, Kaya almost winced at how it seemed to hit her like a slap to the face. She followed Mira into a shaded area of the café next door when her sister whirled on her, arms folded.

Uh oh, a lecture was incoming.

“Okay, so now we’re out of there, will you now tell me what’s up?” She demanded. But Kaya didn’t have an answer for her, so she simply shrugged.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s something I ate or maybe I have heatstroke or something like that. I’ve just been feeling hot a lot recently like I have a temperature.”

“You’re telling me! You’re burning up! Maybe you really are sick.” Mira suddenly looked around, searching for something that Kaya didn’t care for. She needed to sit down before she actually fell over, passed out from overheating. Mira suddenly grabbed her hand with a “follow me” and steered Kaya down a few streets to come upon an apothecary, tucked away and almost hidden by the two larger shops either side of it. “The lady who runs this is a bit mad but she’s helped me out before with some things so I’m sure she can help you too.” Mira opened the door for Kaya and ushered her inside.

Hit with the scent of jasmine and elderflower, Kaya found herself in a slightly smoky room with parchments and books lining the walls. Ivy vines scrambled across the ceiling, seemingly growing out of it and tapering down low enough to have to move out the way to get through the shop. The sun lit up the shop’s front but despite the power behind its glare, it wasn’t hot inside, which Kaya found very odd.

Being steered by Mira once more, she was led to a messy countertop of ferns lining the edges while balanced on a stack of books. Behind the counter on the wall were rows and rows of glass jars, each filled with a different concoction; liquids and powders, one even had ebony feathers stuffed inside. What they were used for, Kaya had no idea. She watched Mira ring a bell on the counter and waited until a figure appeared from behind a bamboo screen.

Kaya’s jaw dropped. Standing before her was none other than the elderly woman from the fair, the bookseller, who had sold her the book about Jaycen.

“Hi Lizette, I hope you’re well?” Mira chirped a greeting to the lady who was staring at Kaya as much as Kaya was staring back at her. The lady, Lizette, nodded in response to Mira but didn’t take her eyes off Kaya. Sensing the tension in the air, Mira cleared her throat. “This is my sister, Kaya, I was wondering if you might be able to help her? She has had quite a high temperature for close to a week now.”

Lizette hummed thoughtfully before turning to Mira.

“Why don’t you buy some of that nice iced lemonade the café just down the street sells? That’s always been my go to on a hot day.” Lizette’s thick foreign accent was just like Kaya remembered and she could not quite believe she was talking to the same lady. What a bizarre coincidence.

As Lizette handed Mira enough coins to buy the drinks with and watched her practically skip out of the shop, she beckoned Kaya behind the counter to which she followed through past the bamboo partition into a small and even messier office style space.

“So, a bookseller and apothecary owner, huh?” Kaya found her voice as she sat in the offered chair, perching on the edge of it. Lizette merely huffed.

“I’ve always owned this shop. You have clearly just never been to this part of town before.”

“So why do you sell books at the fair each year then if you own this place? You obviously live in this country.”

“Well, we all have to have a hobby don’t we?” Lizette supplied a bowl of cold water with rose petals floating in, taking out a cloth and soaking it before wiping Kaya’s brow and face. She rinsed and repeated the process on her neck, sparing no second thought as she did the same for chest and arms, her touch medical and precise. “I do a lot of travelling.” She added before looking at Kaya straight on. “So,” Lizette continued, “how long have you been feeling like this?”

“Nearly a week.”

“Anything else you have been feeling? Tired? Aches and pains?” Lizette’s questions had Kaya thinking. She had been feeling pretty tired recently, but that was without a doubt due to her body having to fight the harrowing temperatures of the day.

“Yeah I’m tired, maybe a little more than usual, but I do a lot of work with horses and cannot exactly skip out on it, so the heat of the day is probably a contributing factor. Sometimes my muscles ache all over, but again, that’s happened before because of all the manual labour I do.”

Lizette nodded as she continued to wipe the sweat methodically from Kaya’s forehead, neck and arms. She asked a few more questions about how Kaya had been eating and sleeping, to which she admitted she hadn’t been doing either of those things well but did that every summer as the heat took away her hunger and replaced it with thirst, the night air just barely cool enough to allow her some rest, but not much.

Lizette finished with the rose water and pulled herself closer on her own chair to examine Kaya further. She looked through a magnifier glass to each of her eyes, listened to her breathing and heartbeat and got Kaya to squeeze her hands as hard as she could.

Mira returned with the iced lemonade which today, was coloured pink. It was incredibly tasty and Kaya could feel it soothing her insides almost instantly. Lizette scurried about her workspace, prescribing Kaya some yarrow and lemon tea.

“It does have the strangest taste, but it will combat the fever. It’s also great for aches, nausea and dizziness. Ailments such as that. If you do begin to develop any of those, please do come back and see me and I shall fix you something more specific.” Mira paid Lizette with what she assumed was the right amount of coin before taking her wrapped sash of herbs and shoving them into her bag.

Mira left the shop ahead of Kaya who decidedly feeling a little better, before she heard her name called out.

“I neglected to ask; how did you enjoy your book?” Lizette questioned. Kaya smiled a little. Oh, she had _no_ idea.

“Yes, it was good, I enjoyed it very much. Thank you.”

“Wonderful.” Lizette’s eyes sparkled in her reply. Kaya hesitated at the door, trying to read into the look she was given, before Mira called to hurry her up.  
“I’m coming, hang on!” She yelled in response before turning back to the shop. “Farewell…”

Lizette was already gone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaya learns what is happening to her from someone who knows a few tricks and seen far more of the world than she could ever hope to.

When Kaya confessed to Jaycen that she had not been feeling all that well, he started to bring her small red berries from deep within the forest with leaves smelling strongly of mint. Another week had passed since her encounter with Lizette and she had been drinking the tea on a daily basis. It did help, as did the berries and minty leaves Jaycen offered to Kaya.

She had begun to feel slightly nauseous in the early hours of the day before it tapered off as if it was never there at all. Telling Jaycen of how she had been feeling and how Lizette was not only the bookseller at the summer fair but also an apothecary in the city centre, had him twisting his head in interest, ears up. His eyes narrowed slightly when she said her name, a reaction she almost missed as that look was quickly replaced with neutrality as he listened to her talk.

Kaya thought she was probably just imagining things with her head still feeling a little fuzzy at times.

Still, she continued with daily life of helping on the farm, around the house itself and the exceptionally important task of choosing a colour and style of dress to wear to the Autumn Equinox Ball. Mira was a great help, with all intents and purposes, she decided on Kaya’s dress and Kaya decided on Mira’s. Deciding to choose for each other turned out to be a lot easier than choosing for herself.

With three weeks to go, life got incredibly busy. Kaya made a trip to the forest clearing, heart feeling a little low at the prospect of not seeing Jaycen for a while. She didn’t have much spare time these days, and in order to keep their meetings a secret, she had to cut them short, only for a little while.

Jaycen seemed a little saddened by the news too. The sun was just a couple of hours away from setting and she still had some time. The day had been a one-off of slightly cooler weather, meaning the evening had a chill to it that would make the hairs on her arms stand up.

Jaycen pulled Kaya to him and she went easily, coaxing her to lay down. She laughed as she did so, pulling her dress up and out the way while he deftly pulled her undergarments down without so much a tearing a single thread. They hadn’t had sex in a while with Kaya hardly feeling up to it as of late. But thanks to the sun of the day easing off from scorching the earth, she had felt better and more energised than she had for weeks. 

The feeling of Jaycen’s tongue on her clit was enough to make her forget the last weeks of her general feeling of malaise and put her mind at rest. She spread her legs wider as he lapped at her core, his tongue pressing deeply inside and pulling his name from her lips. She rocked into him, revelling in the feeling and bit her lip to keep from screaming as she came hard into his mouth.

Jaycen seemed to especially like that, softly growling with his own pleasure as he made her come on his tongue.

Kaya rolled herself onto all fours, head low to the ground as she presented herself to him. He crooned in satisfaction, swiftly lining himself up and pushing into her depths. They began a practiced and perfected rhythm with Kaya moaning into the grass and Jaycen slamming into her from behind. She chased the sensations of her first orgasm, willing it to form to create her second as she arched her back and rocked against his hips as he pushed forward. Her pleasure reached its crescendo as Kaya felt Jaycen’s hot release flood into her, his knot once more outside of her body and not in. 

Despite the tiny shred of disappointment, she would never get tired of this.

Saying goodbye to him for the next three weeks was harder than she thought. After Kaya had cleaned up and dressed, she stood by the water’s edge of the pond, looking through the treeline to make out just how low the sun had gotten. She had to leave now if she was going to make it back in time.

Jaycen nuzzled her shoulder, his forehead resting in the crook of her neck.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Besides, I felt better today and will go and see Lizette tomorrow. She said she had some sort of mixture to give me if I had any other ill feeling.” She felt Jaycen frown against her neck, before he lowered his head a little, nose touching her navel briefly before coming back up to look her in the eyes. Kaya reached up and ran her hands over his eyes, across his head to the tips of his ears. It was something she had most definitely done to dog before and she almost felt guilty before she saw how Jaycen shivered a little at her touch, pushing his head harder into her hands.

She grinned, pressing her lips to the top of his muzzle. Not for the first time, she wished he had a mouth she could really kiss.

When Kaya got the forest’s edge and began walking through the field in the direction of her house, she heard a distant howl. Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she continued on the journey home.

***

Much to Kaya’s fortune, the following day remained as cool as it had been yesterday. She took a carriage into the city, unwilling to be on the back of a horse for any length of time recently, and made her way towards Lizette’s apothecary. All she had to do was navigate to Gowns by Castvar, turn south down the street and take the third right. There it was, still looking as hidden as it was a week ago, the front of the shop’s exposed granite bricks slowly being taken over by the ivy as it seemed to be on the inside too. The universal sign for an apothecary jutted out from above the front door, a pestle and mortar, the only indication that it was a business and open to the public. Kaya realised she had yet to know how Mira knew of this place and what it was she bought from Lizette.

Pulling open the door and stepping inside, the shop smelt like jasmine today, more pleasant to Kaya’s nose as she closed the door behind her and made her way in. Once again, she was the only customer in sight and when Lizette didn’t make an immediate appearance, she rang the bell that Mira did before. After a few moments, she emerged from the room to the back, still dressed like she was wearing a curtain but thankfully familiar.

“Ah, hello Kaya, nice to see you again, come in.” Lizette sure was a friendly old woman, Kaya would give her that. Following her into the little room, she watched Lizette make space on the designated chair for Kaya by removing the pile of books only to stack them on another pile and creating a small tower of them that had Kaya feeling slightly nervous about, whereas Lizette seemed satisfied of their new location.

“Just how many books do you have?” Kaya asked, taking a seat.

“More than I care to count, that is for certain.” Lizette chuckled as she took a seat opposite Kaya. “Now, what can I do for you?”

“You said to return if I had any other ‘ill feelings’. Unfortunately, that is what I’ve been feeling so I would really like what you offered before so I can shake off whatever this is and get on with my life.”

“My, aren’t you irritable?” Lizette huffed at Kaya’s mood. She was, literally, sick of feeling sick and would love for things to just go back to how they were. “Can you elaborate on how you’re feeling?”

Kaya sighed. “Well I still have a fever at times, although it’s not been too bad so far today and yesterday. I’m dead tired and can’t stand the thought of sitting in a saddle, something that I have done almost every day for as long as I can remember, and I wake up feeling a bit sick. Nothing happens though and it goes away later on in the day. What is wrong with me, Lizette?”

Lizette smiled slightly at Kaya, putting a hand briefly on her shoulder.

“That’s what I’m going to help you find out. Do you mind if I ask you some questions? Some might be a little personal, but necessary.”

Kaya didn’t see how she had much choice, so she nodded. Lizette asked some basics; her weight, had her diet changed, had she travelled anywhere new recently. They were easy for Kaya to answer, it was only when they started getting deeper into her health and wellbeing that she felt a little awkward giving answers.

Had her need to urinate increased? Had she had any unusual discharge from anywhere? Kaya shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she answered _no_ and _no_. Lizette had begun to take notes, the tattered quill scraping in protest against the journal page she was using.

“Kaya, when are you next due to bleed?”

Kaya paused to think. She had always had an irregular cycle with it sometimes disappearing for a couple of months before making an appearance again. She usually got plenty of warning though with cramps strong enough to make her double over with the force of them. Nothing like that had happened this month so far, so perhaps next month? A couple of weeks? She voiced this to Lizette, backing up the irregularity of her monthly woman issue not being very predictable. It was nothing new and Kaya didn’t know why it was important.

As Lizette began to brew a stronger version of the tea she had given to Kaya last week, she also started collecting various herbs from some jars on a shelf above the writing desk she was seated at. Fiddling with a thread on her dress, Lizette drew Kaya’s focus once more, this time with no more awkward questions.

“So, what was your favourite part of the book you bought?” Lizette asked, changing the subject and making small talk while they waited for the tea to brew.

“Oh! I guess it reading about Jaycen fighting the soldiers and mages. I still can’t believe he let that one mage go. I wonder why he did that.” She mused, half to herself. She hadn’t asked Jaycen about that, unsure of how to approach such a sore subject.

“Well, maybe he wanted to show them he is not without mercy. After all, mercy will get you killed, but sometimes it’s all that makes us human.” Lizette almost whispered. Kaya had never heard that statement before and she wasn’t sure if Lizette was quoting someone or had just come up with it herself. Either way, it was true.

“But he isn’t human, not anymore.”

“Alas no, but he was. Surely he does not forget his past or from whence he came. Even after all the apparent time since.” Lizette said.

“The book was written by that mage, have they written anything else that you have come across? I have looked, but not been able to find anything more on Jaycen specifically, only one other thing about werewolves in general.” Kaya asked. Surely the lady with what must be a thousand books would have seen something of the sort.

“I am afraid not. It seems it was the only one they ever penned.” Lizette opened a jar of deep blue powder, taking a small pinch and sprinkling it on top of the mixture she was putting together.

“That’s a shame. I would have liked to know what happened to her.” Kaya sighed.

“We aren’t meant to know everything, Kaya.”

“Obviously, but it would probably make life quite a bit easier.”

“I think you would find it boring. I’ve met a few people in my travels with a wealth of knowledge, and it has made them so very…drab.” Lizette smiled to herself, eyes focused elsewhere as she recalled the meeting of these people in her mind’s eye. Kaya huffed a laugh.

“I suppose you’re right.” She replied. Lizette looked over at Kaya, watching her return to fiddling with the loose thread on her dress before switching to check over her nails and chew on her lip.

“Kaya, what do you think is wrong with you?” Lizette asked. Kaya looked up at the question, bottom lip still between her teeth.

“Aren’t you supposed to tell me that?” She quipped.

“Yes, but I would just like to get your thoughts on the situation.” Lizette reasoned.

“Well, I think I just have some stupid heatstroke fever. I’ve had heatstroke before and it made me feel like shit, but I was a child then and just slept it off. I remember my mother giving me honey and lemon tea to drink, which did help even though it tasted awful. So I guess now I’m older, it’s just affecting me differently. But what do I know?” Kaya crossed her arms, feeling her mood turning sour again. She watched Lizette finish with putting together the mixture, pouring the grey-blue powder into a porcelain bowl and handing it to Kaya.

“I need you to urinate in this.” She declared.

Kaya blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me. I need you to urinate in this. It will fizz up and either change colour or remain the same. What colour it goes will determine your final diagnosis.” Lizette held the bowl out to Kaya.

“You’re joking!”

“I do not joke.” Lizette smiled and pushed the bowl of powder into Kaya’s hands. “There is a bathroom up the stairs. Just go past the counter to the end of the hall and the bathroom is the first door on your left.” Lizette turned to make a few more notes in the journal, ending the conversation with Kaya until she had seemingly done what was asked.

Heaving the biggest annoyed sigh she could muster, Kaya made the trek up the stairs to the bathroom for some privacy. What this could achieve, she could only guess. Lizette was clearly just as mad as she at first appeared to be. Perhaps all apothecaries were this strange, considering all the things they were faced with and the ailments that they came across.

Peeing on demand was a little more difficult that Kaya initially thought and she was embarrassed by how little actually came out. However, it was enough to make the powder do exactly what Lizette said it would do. It fizzed and bubbled a bright sapphire blue and for a moment, she was worried it would spill over the sides of the bowl. Just before it could do so, it settled and right before her eyes the deep blue hues of the bubbles shifted into a vibrant purple, flecks of silvery-white standing out in contrast. Kaya stared at the mixture, unsure of what that meant and quickly hurried back down the stairs to give it back to Lizette.

Upon seeing it, she threw back her head and laughed.

“What? What is it?” Kaya almost yelled.

“Sit down girl, you’ll feel better I promise-”

“Tell me now!” Kaya lost her patience with this irritating, nosy old woman. She cut Lizette off before she could finish and glowered at her, standing in the doorway with her fists clenched, nails digging into the palms of her hands. Lizette raised her chin, looking down her nose and returning Kaya’s glare with just as much ferocity.

“You’re pregnant.”

Kaya blinked again. Oh this lady…

“Right, sure. I’ll be going to speak with a real doctor now. I don’t even know why I wasted my time with you.” Kaya seethed and moved past Lizette to retrieve her bag she had left down past the chair. Picking it up, she turned to storm past Lizette and head for the door, but it slammed shut by itself before she could reach it. Jumping back and gasping in surprise, Kaya watched as Lizette raised her hand, closed it into a fist and she subsequently heard the door lock with a loud click.

“Sit down, Kaya.” Lizette gestured to the chair she had been sitting on. Heart hammering in her chest, kaya slowly backed up into it, maintaining her gaze on Lizette as she dropped her bag again and sank down into her seat. Forcing down her rising fear, Kaya watched as Lizette took her seat opposite her and twisted the bowl around in her hands. This strange old lady was a mage. A mage with telekinesis no less, a skill that was incredibly rare. Just what else was she hiding?

“Kaya, this mixture isn’t magic like you just saw. It’s a concoction that reacts to a chemical in your urine that is only present in a pregnant woman. This colour has not only proven that, but your symptoms back it up. You’re having hot flushes, a little nausea and fatigue. Your appetite has decreased, you’re not fairing that well in hot weather and your monthly bleed, although apparently irregular, has yet to show itself for the first time in nearly two months. Regardless of what you had as a child with a couple of those symptoms, all of those together with this,” she held up the bowl, “simply confirm it.” Kaya swallowed audibly, the news slowly sinking in. She was pregnant. With child. Gestating. There were many ways to put it and even more words for it, but they all meant the same thing.

Sensing her rising panic, Lizette placed the bowl back on the desk, leaning forward on her elbows and chin resting on her hands. She stared hard at Kaya, looking her up and down like she had done at the fair that day now weeks ago.

“I will ask you again; what was your favourite part of the story of Jaycen?” 

Kaya opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. She gaped like a fish out of water, throat clenching and head shaking in disbelief. “I’ll tell you my favourite part instead, how about that?” Lizette continued. “My favourite part was when I realised he was real and came face to face with him.”

Kaya felt tears come to her eyes, feeling like she might be sick. Lizette had met Jaycen? How? When?

“Wh-when?” She managed to get out, voicing her thoughts.

“Oh, a long time ago now, close to eighty years or so.”

Kaya choked out a sob, feeling the tears fall free. Speechless, everything that she had read in Jaycen’s story came crashing down in one horrifying moment of clarity. The forest clearing, the fight with the soldiers, with the mages, one surviving mage, a woman at that and the whole story written by the survivor.

As Kaya looked up at Lizette, she was no longer looking at a withered bookseller haggling her wares for profit. She was looking at a powerful mage who had fought with a werewolf and had been the first to be allowed to live.

“You’re her. The mage from the story. How? How did this happen?” Kaya’s voice rose as the ugly mix of fear and panic threatened to spill over into something nasty. Lizette had some serious explaining to do.

“Guilty as charged.” Lizette held her hands up. “It’s been a very long time since I’ve spoken about it and an even longer time since I’ve met anyone else who has had the pleasure of Jaycen’s company.” She gestured to Kaya’s midsection. “And from your condition, I will go on the assumption that he is still doing quite well.” 

“But…but he isn’t human, how could he have done this to me?” Kaya asked.

“Just because he doesn’t look human, does not mean that a part of him still is. Surely you can see that, perhaps even better than I.” Lizette remarked. She brought her journal to her lap, flicking over the pages while Kaya silently felt the world closing in around her. She was such a _fool_. A fool for thinking nothing would come from their intimacy, a fool for not even having so much as second thought on the matter and a fool for not realising something was wrong sooner. How was she supposed to hide this from her family? Gods, she couldn’t. She would have to tell them everything, explain to them that their precious daughter who rarely put a toe out of line had thrown her entire body over said line, laid down naked for a supernatural creature and was now carrying his child.

Kaya’s eyes widened at the thought of just _what_ it was that was growing inside her. It surely would not be human…

“What will happen to this?” Kaya pointed at her stomach. “I mean, what is going to happen? What…what is inside me?”

Lizette looked up from her journal having found the pages she was looking for. She looked Kaya over once more.

“Well, considering you choose to do nothing, I will say your pregnancy will carry on as normal. They’re a little shorter than normal human pregnancies though, if my memory serves, it will last about six months instead of the usual nine. Although from this moment, I would estimate you’re closing on six weeks already, hence the increase in classic symptoms.”  
Kaya pushed out a breath. Six weeks already, it felt like both a long time and no time at all.

“How is it you know all this?” Kaya asked, staring at Lizette in disbelief. Lizette simply shrugged.

“I know a great many things when you have lived as long as I have.” She shifted forward in her seat, journal open and practically looked ready to start interviewing Kaya on the extraordinary situation she had gotten herself in. “If I may, I would really like to ask you some things.” Lizette continued and Kaya could do nothing but nod. The door was locked, she was in the firing line and immediate vicinity of a mage with a wealth of experience and power at her fingertips. There was no way out of this.

“What about the shop? Won’t someone come in?” Kaya asked. Lizette looked somewhere above Kaya’s head for a moment before her eyes snapped back to focus.

“Nobody will come.” A firm declaration, Kaya was sure she felt a chill in the room for a moment before her high temperature got rid of it. “Now, please tell me how on this earth you got Jaycen to mate with you?”

Kaya grimaced at the question, feeling heat rising to her cheeks. It was just another thing she hadn’t put much thought into. Without further ado, she began to explain how she found Jaycen, how she is also inadvertently alive at his mercy and how day by day he would get closer and closer to her until he was close enough to touch.

“I was reading to him one day and fell asleep in the afternoon sun. When I woke up, his head was in my lap. After that, I could touch him whenever I wanted to.” 

Lizette stared at Kaya before barking out a laugh. 

“Oh my, well certainly seems to have a soft spot for you. You know, he is the only one that can talk in that form, none of the others in the past have been able to.”

“He can’t.”

“What?”

“He can’t speak anymore, I’ve never heard his voice.” Kaya remembered how Jaycen seemed incredibly displeased by that fact. “Every piece of information I have gotten from is just from arranging my questions into a simple yes or no format.”

Lizette frowned, looking down to her journal. “How strange.” She muttered.

“Yes, and he didn’t seem all that keen to discuss it further.” Kaya linked her fingers together in her lap. “So,” she began again, “that’s sort of how it happened. I just…stopped seeing him a werewolf and kept thinking about the man he used to be, or still is, somewhere deep down. I guess I was always attracted to him and simply didn’t realise until I knew I what I wanted.” Kaya sighed. “I didn’t plan on it, you know, for it to go that far. It just sort of happened. By the pond where we meet, Jaycen jumped in it one afternoon and it was just such a hot day, at first I simply wanted to cool off as well. It wasn’t until I had my dress off and was in the water and saw how he was looking at me that I knew he wanted me, as much I wanted him.” It felt strangely calming to talk about it out loud, especially with someone who seemed to understand where she coming from. Lizette shifted in her seat, crossing one leg over the other, expression thoughtful.

“There is…something I did not mention in the book. Something we, myself and the other mages in the king’s faction, neglected to share with anyone.” Lizette sniffed, looking down at her journal, her face becoming more impassive. “The cult we were investigating, the worshippers of the werewolves, we knew exactly who was to blame the moment that poor girl showed up in the marshes covered in those symbols. It’s an ancient runic language, unique to that cult that we had seen before. We simply told the king we would investigate what it was when all we actually did, was use the blood to trace the location of their whereabouts. Nobody had to know more at the time. Things were bad enough as they were.”

“So what do they mean? The markings?” Kaya asked.

“They were part of summoning ritual. They would call a werewolf from the forest and offer him a human woman. They were determined to create a perfect being of power and strength, knowing that a werewolf was still part man but also beast, they believed they could harness that power by the way of natural creation. The magic would come later. They failed, obviously.”

Kaya gulped, realising what Lizette was getting at. “So they, had these werewolves…force themselves on those women? But didn’t the cult also take men?”

“The men were used simply for their blood, those were the bodies we stumbled across that fateful day in the clearing. The women however, were willing subjects. They would lay atop that stone altar and offer themselves freely to be impregnated with the offspring of the werewolf that was summoned.”

Kaya’s breath drew in sharply. So that meant…

“So Jaycen, he was one of the ones summoned? That is why he was there that day you found him?”

“No Kaya, after everything that happened we learned that the cult kept a record of every wolf they summoned and Jaycen never showed up in any of their rituals. Perhaps he was finally forced to go there by whatever evil the cult was doing and the woman we found in the marshes was intended for him, but she had not been violated. Whatever magic that held her in the clearing, sipped at her life force the moment she stepped out of it to make her way back. We have no idea as to how she got out of there. Maybe Jaycen set her free when he saw she was there against her will? We may never know. Only he does, and he cannot even tell us why.”

Kaya felt relieved to know Jaycen was mostly left out of it, but her thoughts quickly flowed back to her current situation.

“What happened to the women, the ones now like me?” She asked Lizette, willing her to explain fully. Lizette’s mouth thinned.

“Kaya, you have to understand,” she began slowly, “what you are carrying within you isn’t completely human. No harm will come to you, do not have any fear that they will so much as eat their way out of you or anything bizarre like that. No, they remain until inside until it is time to be born, much like with the women of the past.”

There was just one word that stood out like the black sheep in the herd…

“They?” Kaya whispered.

“Yes, _they_.” Lizette nodded. “It is without a doubt that you are carrying more than one pup. That particular characteristic has been taken from the canine blood. They will not be born as human children, though I assure you they shan’t be anywhere as big and snugly fit in the palms of your clasped hands.”

Kaya felt dizzy, the world began to spin and she felt Lizette’s arms on her shoulders as she eased her further back into the chair so she wouldn’t collapse. The smell of yarrow and incense became strong in the small space of Lizette’s office, and when her eyes focused again, Kaya found a small teacup of a dark liquid being offered to her.

“Please child, drink. It will calm your nerves.” Kaya could almost laugh. A stiff drink is more along the lines of something to ‘calm her nerves’ right now, but she nonetheless took offered cup and took a small sip. The flavour smothered her taste buds and despite it being almost too hot not only for her mouth but also her body temperature, it made Kaya feel a little more relaxed. She suspected Lizette had added something else in there but at the moment, she honestly didn’t care.

“How many?” Kaya asked. “Am I going to have a whole litter?” Gods, she could just imagine how uncomfortable that would be.

“I only ever saw four at the most at one time. It depended on the virility on both sides.” Lizette took a drink of her own tea while Kaya processed what she said.

“You saw? You know someone else that has done this?” 

“I did. I do not know where she is now, but I saw it all. I do not mean to dampen your spirit, but you are not the first that Jaycen has done this with. The woman I knew from a long time ago, she was the first. Until I met you, I thought she would always be the only one.”

Kaya wasn’t sure what the sour feeling in chest was until Lizette divulged her of how she had met this women. It followed true of Jaycen’s coming to Erstweald where he lived in the northern mountains. Lizette lived there too, staying at the emporium for mages high up in the spires of the world. When she met the woman, who she continued not to name and refused to do so, she was already pregnant. She had found Jaycen in a similar way, stumbling across him, somehow convinced him not to kill her and slowly became more than just an acquaintance. Kaya could not help but feel the alikeness between her experience and Lizette’s friend.

“She asked for my help. She could not go to a doctor of course, for they would surely lock her up somewhere to be studied like a captive animal. She knew what she was doing was risky, but she did it anyway and with my help, she safely delivered four pups. Wherever she was staying at the time at the bottom of the mountain, she returned there for a few weeks after and when I came to check on her one day, she was gone. They all were. I do not know if she took the pups with her or she gave them to Jaycen to care for, I have no idea.” Lizette seemed somewhat saddened by her disappearance. “With the women from the cult, nobody knows what happened to the offspring they had either. It is likely they were hunted later in life, if they weren’t killed before they could defend themselves. Yours,” she pointed at Kaya, “if you choose to have them, will be the first of their kind in a long time.”

One of Kaya’s hands came to rest on her lower stomach. It wasn’t hugely visible, but she could already feel the slight expansion of her belly, minor enough she had to search for it, but there nonetheless.

“What am I going to do?” Kaya spoke out loud, asking both herself and Lizette that question.

“That is all up to you. Do not feel pressured to go through with it. I know a way out,” Lizette cast her eyes over the jars of powders and liquids on the shelves against the wall, “but just think on it. Come and see me again at the end of the week. I’ll answer anything you want to know, I promise.”

With her hands clasped in Lizette’s own, dark skin stark against her paleness, Kaya left the apothecary to her business with an extra strong supply of the tea she had been served. Unsure of whether to start crying, screaming or laughing, Kaya kept her emotions forcibly under control until she spotted a shaded narrow alleyway. Hurrying down it until she reached the end, her legs gave out and she slid down the wall, huge sobs finally breaking free.

She had gotten herself in this situation, and only she could deal with it. She didn’t have to tell Jaycen if she chose not to go ahead, but surely he would become suspicious? If he had done this before with someone, he must know the exact signs to look out for when his partner was pregnant. Her fatigue, her fevers, the tiredness she felt in her bones, the nausea in the mornings. Was she really that naïve? She laughed bitterly when she remembered Lizette calling her as such at the fair. Whatever she saw in Kaya when she looked at her put enough faith in her that she would possibly seek Jaycen out, or at least look into werewolves with a fresh set of eyes. Whatever she saw convinced Lizette that Kaya was worthy of learning about him and she had allowed Kaya a great perspective on the subject of werewolves as a whole. She had learned she liked werewolves a great deal. She liked Jaycen a great deal which led her to feel if she didn’t at least make him aware that she was carrying his children, she would be betraying his trust.

No, she had to tell him. Kaya calmed her breathing, laughing a little when she suddenly remembered the feeling that made her chest ache with vague contempt when she realised Jaycen had done this before; jealousy. She was jealous of a woman he had found long before she in the picture. It sounded so ridiculous. Holding her head in her hands, elbows resting on her knees, Kaya looked at the gravel beneath her with her mind swirling with different outcomes. Now that she thought about it, maybe Jaycen did know more than he was letting on. Perhaps he assumed Kaya knew about that aspect, that by having sex with him, she could pregnant as well as with any other human man.

She was the one who had so boldly initiated that step after all. The way Jaycen would rest his head on her belly as they lay together post-coitus, how he sometimes nosed her navel and how his bright yellow eyes would linger on her midsection a little too long before looking elsewhere.

He knew, Kaya was sure of it. 

The problem she now had, was that she had told him she would be gone for the next three weeks while she prepared for the upcoming Ball, which meant it was highly unlikely he would come back to their forest clearing until closer to the end of that time.

Kaya pushed herself up, still leaning against the wall. She wiped her face free of tears, straightened her dress and made her way out of the alley and back among the people of Erstweald.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lizette's quote about mercy was first made by Laurell K. Hamilton; all tributes for saying that go entirely to her. Damn, that woman is a genius.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaya attends the Autumn Equinox Ball, tries to act normal when tested and finds a solution to her problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I just wanted to update the good readers of this with a few things. I really do want to get a move on with the actual major thing that will inevitably happen to Kaya, so in order to do that I had to create a few time skips. I hope it doesn't come across as a blowover, but I would literally be writing 10 million words with no end in sight and I didn't want to drag out the boring stuff that happens in between lest you get bored.
> 
> As a result, I have moved things along in a most reasonable manner as I can. Do let me know if it feels rough. We are our own worst enemy and critique is best done from others that are not myself.
> 
> Without further ado, here is Kaya trying to be normal and accepting her fate at the same time.

Much to Kaya’s chagrin and frustration, Jaycen was not at the clearing for the rest of the week. She even found herself back there twice in the same day at different times just to be sure he didn’t decide to stop by for a swim or to drink from the pond, but really Kaya decided she was there out of just a little desperation. She was dying to tell Jaycen, eager to tell him that not only was she pregnant, but she was going to see this through to the end, whatever that end was. With no accounts of what happened to the werewolf offspring from the cultist women, nobody, not even Lizette, had any idea what would happen to them after they were born.

How long would they stay with her, if at all? How quickly would they grow? If they already were due to grow quickly in her womb, then surely they must do so once they’re born? Kaya had so many questions, but nobody could answer her. The only one who might be able to help in great detail had no voice. It was so incredibly unfair and it made white hot anger flush through Kaya.

As the end of the week came and went, she did go back to see Lizette but only to get some more answers. She had been feeling considerably better, enough so that Mira had finally got off her back about what was wrong, still sticking with her story about heatstroke. Kaya finally thanked the stars for her fair complexion saving her hide this time.

With the three weeks that came and went, Kaya had Lizette on her side who promised to help in any way that she could. She would go back through her scrolls and books, compiling her knowledge of werewolves and continue further research to see if there was anything that she could help her with. However, when the Autumn Equinox Ball came along, Kaya had nobody on her side but herself when she was faced with the problem of her dress feeling just a little bit too tight around the middle.

Thankfully, she still didn’t look pregnant. She looked a little bloated like after too much ice cream and it was only noticeable if someone looked hard enough. Unfortunately, the person who did look hard enough was none other than Mira. With her inquisitive blue gaze that missed nothing, it was difficult to hide anything from her, let alone something physical. As the two sisters got ready for the Ball, Kaya kept seeing Mira out of the corner of her eye, looking over at her. Kaya kept her face carefully neutral and balanced was her poise as she went about putting on her dress for the evening.

It was a dark green brocade, like meadow grass in the evening as the sun disappeared behind the hills. Golden trim lined the edges around the base, the neckline and the waist. It dipped moderately low, enough to show off what was there but still leaving something to the imagination. Bare were Kaya’s arms, neck and shoulders as the assistant dressmaker pulled it into place and began doing up the lace of the corset back. The dress almost touched the floor, flowing around her legs with the slit at the left side coming up to her knee. The corset itself was further embellished with beautiful golden vines and leaves. Against her auburn hair, it was everything Kaya could hope for in a dress. She wished Jaycen could have seen her in it.

The assistant finished the last of the laces, a slight frown on her face as she had reached the bottom of them. Kaya was sure it was because the dress was a slightly tighter fit than last time. Across the room, Mira had on her own dress. It was similar in style to her own, the same colour as her eyes but fitted with lace up to her neck and down her shoulders. Only when one looked close enough could you see the assets clasped beneath. Mira didn’t seem all too pleased that they were hidden while Kaya’s were far more in display. It simply made Kaya laugh internally; Mira was far more endowed than her and maybe that’s why Lady Florence had made them in such a way.

Her hair had been styled in lose waves coming to rest gracefully down to her waist. It was rare that Kaya did anything with her hair so the moment there was a change from the hastily brushed length or messy bun, it was easy to notice. Lady Florence had decided to sprinkle gold dust over her when she wasn’t looking, much to Kaya’s displeasure. It had scattered over her head between the waves of her hair, down over her shoulders and between the slight mounds of her breasts. Mira had sauntered over, eyes sinfully dangerous.

“Now, maybe you will see who is looking.” She remarked.

Kaya hadn’t much thought of her statement, despite it being the second time she had heard it. Once everyone was ready to go and piled into a much more luxurious carriage than she could remember ever being in, the journey to the castle began.

Only being one of the few times that Kaya had been in the place, she was always swept away by how beautiful and stupendous the great hall was. Made up of marble floors and matching pillars, decorated with gold vines curling around them before spreading over the ceiling, it reminded Kaya of Lizette’s apothecary. The walls were adorned with paintings of past kings, queens and knights and the floor to ceiling windows were covered with luxury drapes in a delicate red and gold pattern. The sun had now long set and the evening was well under way.

At the top of the hall was table that seated eight, the king and queen of Erstweald in the centre and Kaya could only assume were high ranking nobles on either side. Men in shining silver armour lined the edges of the room in periodic places, perfectly apart, unmoving but ready to spring into action if required. 

Three long tables ran vertically down the hall, covered with various different foods. Lined with dark mahogany chairs ready to be sat on so the attending guests could help themselves to the food, the monarchy’s toastmaster announced the invited families in alphabetical order, meaning that the Summerwoods were quite near the bottom. Kaya shifted from foot to foot as she stood as patiently as possible.

She was _starving_.

When they were finally seated, Kaya got a good look at the food on offer. There was fruit in the way of grapes, lychees, strawberries, pineapples and other colourful delights. Then there were different breads and cheeses varying from bright yellow to a bold orange. Steamed vegetables were neatly piled in china bowls mixed with jasmine flavoured rice. But none of that really garnered Kaya’s attention like the meat did.

Roasted boar, swan and goose well-oiled with something that made the skin crispy. Chickens, quails and pheasant stuffed with sage and onion. Cuts of ham that were lightly crumbed and beef joints that must be cooked rare, as Kaya could practically smell the blood and it made her salivate.

Meat was expensive and although her family ate well, it was perhaps only once or twice a week they could really enjoy meat this way. Chicken was always cheap and pheasant was hunted all year round. When winter came, venison was on offer at the markets and there was always a butcher that sold cuts of pork. But prime beef, goose and swan? They could never afford that the same way it was being offered for free now. It was a help yourself setup and Kaya didn’t waste any time. It was as if she had never eaten meat before in her life and she simply smiled at her mother’s slight frown to the large portion on her plate.

With Mira to her left, her mother to her right, brothers and father further down, Kaya endured the small talk made by the family opposite, answering questions when they came and asking her own when it went quiet for a moment. It was like a dance, conversing in a slow and steady way while waiting for your turn. It wasn’t something Kaya thought herself particularly good at, but found it relatively easy to do nonetheless.

A nudge in her side from Mira about two hours in got Kaya’s attention.

“Remember when I said you will see who is looking? Six heads down from you that way.” Mira’s eyes darted to her left back down the table. Kaya grimaced internally but nonetheless tactfully gazed down to where the person in question was sitting.

It was…Adam? Aron? Adrian? She honestly couldn’t recall but had seen him many times. The same age, tall, olive skinned with hazel eyes and tousled brown hair just covering the tips of his ears, Kaya watched as the moment she made eye contact he quickly looked away, trying and failing to hide a slight blush.

It wasn’t the first time he had looked at her like that and surely it wouldn’t be the last. She was quite sure his name was Adrian, son of the one of the wealthiest merchants in Erstweald, but thankfully Adrian was coy about it and didn’t throw the title around of who his family were. Kaya almost chuckled, realising although she couldn’t claim the wealth that neither threw the Summerwood name around.

When dessert was served, Kaya’s stomach dropped at the serving of sparkling wine to accompany the white chocolate mousse peppered with dried berries. Woman pregnant with a normal human child didn’t drink, meaning that surely she, pregnant with werewolf children should do the same? She opted for her spring water instead while she devoured the delicious pudding, sweet with hints of bitterness from the berries, and did her best to both ignore Adrian occasionally looking at her and the weight of Mira’s gaze when she pushed the glass of alcohol away.

A further hour or so later, the central table of the feast was cleared away, leaving the two at the side while creating a dancing space in the middle. The rich sounds of the fiddle, delicate notes of the harp and deep thrum of the frame drums created a balanced tune that invigorated the crowd to begin dancing. It steadily got more upbeat and the guests surrounding Kaya moved onto the dancefloor. They parted when the king and queen made their own entrance, everyone carefully dancing around them not daring to get too close. Kaya simply watched from the side-lines, nursing her glass of water. Her eyes watched the people but she didn’t see them. Her mind was elsewhere, hearing nothing but Lizette in her mind. She would go and see her tomorrow, still needing more answers.

A light tap on her shoulders broke her reverie and Kaya turned to see Adrian standing next to her. 

“Hello Kaya,” he said. “You look…dazzling.” Jaw set and already having thanked several lords and nobles from receiving similar complimentary words throughout the evening.

“Thank you.”

“Did you enjoy the food?” Gods, it was such a ridiculous question, and Kaya was tempted to tell him so. If he kept looking over at her, even before she properly noticed, did he not see how much she had eaten? Only drinking equal amounts water had kept her from feeling the beginnings of indigestion. 

“Oh yes, very much.” By not asking anything back, there was no conversation to be had. Kaya had seen Mira do it many times with young men that sometimes, she wasn’t interested in, and so far it had worked every time. It seemed to be working on Adrian but that was when Kaya noticed he was holding two glasses of sparkling wine. Having her favourite beverage that she rarely got to indulge in thrust under her nose for a second time and having to deny it for the second time made her teeth clamp together. “No, thank you, I’m fine.” She held up a hand at the offered glass, which seemed to make Adrian even more awkward now that the second glass had nowhere to go.

“Um…would you like to dance?” His timid voice almost made Kaya feel sorry for him. Almost. She remembered seeing him at the last Ball and he had been too shy to ask her then. Seemed he had grown a backbone this time, albeit a small one.

Kaya opened her mouth to speak, to turn him down, when her mother suddenly appeared at her side.

“She would love to!” She exclaimed, removing the glass of water from her hands and shooing Kaya towards Adrian, reluctantly accepting his offered arm. Sparing her mother an annoyed look over her shoulder, she let herself be led by him onto the dancefloor.

Dancing was not her strong suit. Kaya could count on one hand the amount of times that she had danced and she hated every minute of him. Her only saving grace was that she had read many books which often had a princess dance, even when she didn’t want to. Mercifully, how to dance on paper was remarkably similar to that in real life and Kaya quickly picked up what the crowd was doing, following along with the beat. Her dress kept itself out of the way with its flowing design and after dancing a couple of songs with Adrian, she excused herself.

Mira caught her upon her exit, a glass of sparkling wine in hand. 

“Drink?” She held it out, eyes firm.

“No, I’m fine.” Kaya repeated automatically and turned to head towards the washrooms to freshen up, but Mira caught her arm again.

“You’re not fine.”

“What?” 

“You’re not fine. Don’t lie to me.” Mira snapped. Kaya pulled her arm free and continued to the washrooms, ignoring her sister and trying even harder to ignore the sound of her following footsteps.

Feeling the onset of a hot flush, Kaya splashed some cool rose water on her face and chest, washing away the gold dust and exposing her pale skin to the red blotches that were starting to form. She leaned over the basin, the combination of the refreshing water and the scent of the flowers soothed her senses. A stack of rolled white cloths were next to the basins, and Kaya dipped one in the water, wringing it out and holding it to her forehead. 

It was in that moment that Mira came through the door behind her, looking for more pissed off than Kaya had seen her in a while.

“If you tell me you’re ‘fine’ one more time, I will slap you.” She came to stand next to Kaya, arms folded. Kaya could do nothing to hide how she was feeling now, but she couldn’t tell Mira the truth. Wracking her brain for a convincing lie, she turned to face Mira but before she could start speaking, the look on her sister’s face brought all the words to a stop.  
Mira was worried, concerned for Kaya’s health as she looked her up and down and she reached out to cup her cheek. “Look, if you don’t want to tell me, I will just have to live with that, but I want you to know that I’m not blind. Whatever you have done that you won’t share is your business. I just hope you can live with the consequences, no matter that you choose to do.”

She turned to leave but paused at the door. “We all have a choice, Kaya. When you’re ready to talk, I will listen.”

***

When Kaya found the will to return to the celebration, it was simply to tell her mother she was exhausted and would be leaving ahead of the rest of the family. Although her mother tried to insist that she would go with her or even worse, send Mira along, Kaya managed to convince her she would be fine alone. The carriage drivers were not paid to ask questions as to why guests left the Ball early or by themselves.

The two hour long silence helped clear her head and once again try to strategize how to hide her situation from her family. Kaya was approaching the halfway point if her calculations were correct. She had received the news at approximately six weeks pregnant and that was just over three weeks ago.

Gods, _ten weeks_.

It felt like time was going past her far too quickly. According to Lizette, she would only be pregnant for six months, anything between twenty four and twenty six weeks. The babies grew slowly at first before increasing in their size towards the end. She advised that if Kaya was careful, she could probably get away with it for another couple of weeks before it became too obvious to hide.

But the problem was, Kaya had no idea how to hide it from her family. Even if this was a normal pregnancy, she was sure she would forever in the debt and shadow of her family as the one who had a child unwed. It would never be the same, and Kaya did not only want to bring the shame, but the costs involved with raising a child. She was fairly sure if they knew the truth, the costs would not be financial, they would be something else entirely. Lizette’s own interest in the entire process was already unnerving enough, if word got out to the masses, Kaya was sure she would be taken away and studied. The werewolf pups would most likely be killed and Jaycen would eventually be hunted down for the same fate.  
After all, history depicted them as nothing but savage beasts that deserved everything they got. Jaycen hadn’t exactly built his case well by eviscerating the one group of humans who last had the displeasure of meeting him. All except Lizette of course.

Kaya decided she would have to find a reason to leave temporarily. She would have to find some excuse convincing enough for her parents to allow her to leave the farm, lose a pair of hands for a few months and then hopefully welcome her back just as easily as she had left.

Or…

She could just leave anyway. She had her own pool of coin to help her get by, she and Jaycen could leave together and Lizette would probably help if she knew she would get information about werewolf reproduction out of it.

What was she thinking? There was no way she could just leave!

Feeling tears sting at her eyes and threaten to spill over, Kaya resolved to speak with Lizette as soon as possible. The noise of the carriage wheels on cobblestone meant she was almost home.

Pulling off her dress and half-heartedly hanging it on the back of her door, Kaya pulled on a nightgown and brushed the waves from her hair, watching herself in the floor length mirror as they slowly disappeared. Her eyes travelled down to her belly and she pressed her hand against the small swell. It was slightly firm to the touch, just further proof that something was taking residence inside her. It wasn’t the babies’ fault, it wasn’t Jaycen’s fault.

So was it her own?

***

Kaya sat opposite Lizette and watched the old mage go through some extremely withered books she had carefully laid out on a table. Her long nails carefully prying the pages apart and delicately scanning the lines and lines of text on them.

They were in Lizette’s home this time, conveniently located right above the shop. Kaya wondered as much when she had been sent up the stairs to the bathroom and urinate on that strange powder. There were several further doors lining that corridor and it turned out they were all different rooms that made up the living quarters. Two bedrooms, a kitchen and a dining area attached to an open space with plenty of seating that was arranged around large ferns which threatened to take over. The vines attached to the ceiling of the apothecary underneath them had crawled through gaps in the floor and twisted into the frames of the windows on either end of the room. The windows themselves overlooked both the front and rear of the shop and said room that Kaya found herself in ran the entire depth of the building. Kaya didn’t want to know what sort of strange magic Lizette used to make the vines grow in such ornate ways.

Lizette had invited her to visit any time she wanted, claiming it to be a safe place to talk about Kaya’s situation and go through the options on what to do about it. She had brewed the yarrow tea and placed a few snacks on a low centred table in the form of cashew and pine nuts, chicken wings in a tangy ginger sauce and some small flaky pastries that tasted of cherries and cream. The same delightfully cool temperature of the shop below seemed to be throughout the entire building and Kaya relaxed a little in her seat as she helped herself to the food on offer, opting for the chicken wings first.

She devoured three pieces of chicken in quick succession while Lizette silently went through her book. For one strange moment, Kaya had an overwhelming desire to start crunching the bones before her brain caught up to what her stomach wanted and she thought better of it. Not only would it do terrible things to her teeth, but why was she so obsessed with meat lately? Every time Kaya ate it she felt like she couldn’t get enough of the stuff.

Lizette’s focus hadn’t been on the book as much as Kaya thought and she heard the mage snicker as she watched her eat.

“Just another symptom.” She gestured at the chicken. Kaya huffed, biting her tongue on a snarky remark and resisted the call of another piece of meat. Lizette turned back to the book, continuing the motions of running her finger along the page down each line of text. 

When Kaya had arrived at Lizette’s in the early afternoon, she had explained what happened at the Ball. How she had been eating like a starving street urchin, hyperaware of the blood dripping off the beef and how suspicious Mira had become. Her sister _knew_ something was up and Kaya was sure she wouldn’t be able to hide it from her much longer lest she lose her trust completely. Kaya even recalled to Lizette the frustration of refusing the sparkling wine on the few occasions it was offered to her, which only garnered more suspicion from Mira but simply mirth from Lizette. 

“Well, you’re not doing that bad if it’s just one person and not the entire kingdom.” Lizette had joked. Kaya hadn’t found it that amusing but she could at least agree. It wasn’t like she was one of the women of old who sought out the satyrs. They could get away with that. Kaya had no way of explaining what she was a parent to, not with the history of werewolves tainted so red in the hearts of men.

Kaya stared out the window, faintly hearing the sounds of Erstweald life below. She realised she hadn’t yet voiced her decision to see this through to Lizette. Perhaps she was waiting to be asked? Perhaps Lizette already guessed as much? After everything Kaya had learned about her, on the list of tricks Lizette could pull off, harbouring telepathy would not be all that surprising.

Watching Lizette work, she wondered what it was she was looking for. The sound of paper rustling was the only noise inside the room to be heard until finally, Lizette paused, frowning at whatever it was she found.

Kaya cleared her throat to get her attention. It worked and Lizette left the books from where she had placed them on the table, situated herself on the plush seat opposite Kaya and helped herself to a handful of nuts. 

“So, let’s not waste any more time.” She began. “What is it you intend to do?” Blunt as ever, Kaya was prepared for this. She had thought long and hard over the weeks since she learned she was pregnant. It was time to face the consequences of the present and deal with whatever the aftermath may look like later.

“I’m going to see this through.” 

“Oh?” Lizette tilted her head, giving nothing away. “And why is that?”

“Because,” Kaya sighed “only I can be responsible for this, the same way everyone is responsible for what they do in life. I may not have initially wanted this, you already know that I didn’t even comprehend it, but I know what I have to do and I want to do it. I can’t escape from it, not really, even if I chose not to have them.” Subconsciously, one of Kaya’s hands came to rest on her lower belly. “They are part of me as I am of them, but I can’t tell anyone about them. I cannot reveal this to anyone and it’s so frustrating when all I want to do is talk about it.” Kaya out the window once more, feeling that frustration bubble to the surface. “My life isn’t normal now. It used to be, but that changed when I asked you for the book and I took everything that came with it. I feel like you knew something when you looked at me and whatever you saw, you were fine with. Now I’m fine with it too.”

Lizette tilted her head in thought. “Kaya, all I saw at the time was someone looking for something good to read. True, I didn’t know you would go all out the way you did, but you seemed interested and perceptive and open to ideas. I don’t deserve any credit you give me when everything that has happened, you have dealt with yourself and technically, all alone.” She smiled then. “You’re much braver than I. I thought I was going to die in that clearing and I wonder what would have been if Jaycen and I met under different circumstances.”

A thought suddenly came to Kaya, one she had been wondering about over and over in her mind.

“Your friend, the first woman to do this, how did she know it was Jaycen? Did he speak to her?”

“She never mentioned if he could speak or not, but she described him in great detail. Right down to his missing finger.”

“Oh yes, I keep forgetting about that.” Kaya looked at her own smallest finger on her left hand. It hurt when she so much as had a small cut in her skin, she couldn’t imagine what it must be like to lose a finger, even if it wasn’t as primary as the thumb for example.

Lizette brought Kaya back to focus.

“You want to do this then, but cannot tell anyone, what are you going to do? Run away?”

“In a manner of speaking.” Kaya replied. “I found some reading material on some old magic that could change people’s…perceptions.” 

Lizette barked a laugh. “Mind altering magic? That is your way out?” 

“Do you see any other alternative?”

“Yes Kaya, there are two simple answers. Tell your family and face the truth with them, or leave and face it alone.”

“Neither of those are an option. Not to me.”

“You can’t have both.”

“I will most certainly _try_.” Kaya fixed Lizette with a stern look. In her mind, the lesser of the two evils, run away or tell the truth, was to tell the truth. It was supposed to be liberating, lift a weight from your shoulders. Yet Kaya could not think of anything worse than explaining the truth.

Nobody would understand. 

“It’s been a long time since I have done anything quite as advanced as that.” Lizette uttered, voice quiet and brows drawn together in a frown.

“But you have done it?”

“…Yes. I have.” Lizette didn’t appear all that pleased, but it was what Kaya was looking for.

“Tell me how it works.”

Lizette stood, taking a cup of the yarrow tea with her as she slowly paced to the window. Leaning against the wall to look down on the street below, she took a deep breath.  
“When you look at something, you see it for what it is. You can appreciate the way it looks before you begin to appreciate the way it might feel against your skin or the way it might taste on your tongue. When it comes to people, it really isn’t that much different. When you walk past someone in the street, you only see what they look like. You don’t know what they have done in their life, the things they have seen or the words they have spoken.” She took a sip of the tea, eyes maintaining her attention outside. “The advantage of that, is that the human mind is a narrow thing. When someone doesn’t know an answer, you give it to them. When someone has no direction you guide them. When someone is hungry, you feed them. The mind can be so slight and often fickle. It sees only what it wants to see, which is where the magic comes in.”

Lizette drained her tea and moved back to the books on the table. “When you care about someone it’s easy to see their qualities. Less so to see their flaws. Playing on the fact that we crave positivity from daily life, magic can force that into existence despite whatever ugliness is staring us in the face. It can create something when it isn’t even there.”

Kaya processed what Lizette was saying.

“And what are you getting at? I could leave and my family wouldn’t know I was gone?”

“To a certain extent. They would see what they have done every day and it helps that what you do for a living has a lot of repetition. That makes it easier.”

“It can’t be that simple.” Kaya said.

“Oh no, magic is never simple.” Lizette laughed. “It’s not permanent. The longer it lasts, the weaker it becomes. There is a chance that if you tried to return, your family would not know who you are.”

Kaya knew it would not be an easy thing to accomplish, but the weight of what she planned to do seemed to get heavier with every moment and with every word Lizette spoke. “You see Kaya, I can do this spell for you. Truthfully, it won’t affect me in any way other than perhaps wear me out a little. You on the other hand, have your entire livelihood at stake. I implore you to think of the worst case scenario before accommodating any ideas about the best outcome.” She moved to sit next to Kaya, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“I understand. If it goes wrong, if I am gone for too long, I will be a stranger in the house and can never go back.” Saying it out loud didn’t make Kaya feel any better, but it made it feel more real. 

“That’s right.” Lizette replied, eyes sincere. “I cannot say what the chances are, magic doesn’t work on chance. If you’re away for too long, the spell will warp the reality of what your family see, erasing everything they have seen of you for their entire lives. If that happens, it will spread like fire, burning everyone it touches. The worst case scenario isn’t just your family will forget who you are, everyone your family comes into contact with will as well.”

Kaya closed her eyes. Gods, she had really gotten herself into something far more serious than she could ever imagine. She was still in over her head, out of her depth and in the deep end.

Lizette had removed her hand and sat in stony silence. Her stillness allowed Kaya to think as she watched flashes of recognition on her family’s faces as she walked through the door before it switched to fear of a stranger walking into their home, voices raising as they threatened to have her arrested as a stranger for trespassing. She felt a rag being pushed into her hands and when Kaya opened her eyes, she understood why as tears slipped free.

Unable to immediately find her voice, she simply offered Lizette a small smile of thanks. Steeling herself, she looked up at Lizette.

“It just leaves me one option.” Kaya’s voice was barely a whisper.

“And what’s that?” Lizette asked, equally as quiet, as if they were sharing a secret. In a way, they were.

“I can’t take too long.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe this was supposed to be a PWP one shot? Literally "girl meets werewolf and has a great time." But damn plot came along and boom, thousands of words later, here we are.
> 
> \- HWR


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dangerous magic is in place so Kaya makes her exit, learns Jaycen can hold a grudge like no other and finally meets the end result of their coupling months ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, here we are. How can the welcoming of new life be so disgusting and beautiful at the same time!? I would just like to point out that I have never given birth, never plan to, and so although this is pretty descriptive, may not be entirely accurate. I guess I could have made it a lot worse. My knowledge of birth is much like what Kaya learns; it's all second hand. I read some strange stuff as you will see if you take a look at some of the stuff I've bookmarked hahaha.
> 
> If you don't like that stuff, yield from the starting of the sentence "Two weeks after..." - but you are reading an explicit rated story and the tags have you warned. Without further ado!

The next few days, Kaya was on edge. She tiptoed around her parents, brothers and sister as if she was in trouble and was attempting to stay out of their way. It reminded her of when she was a child and was genuinely on the receiving end of punishment. She still did her chores, ate dinner at the table and spoke back when spoken to, but overall, Kaya distanced herself as much as possible.

Each day, her room slowly became more and more sparse. The essentials, such as clothes, shoes and toiletries were packed away, along with some of her favourite books. Lizette needed some time to lay the groundworks for the spell, claiming it needed to build in power and that Kaya would know when it was time to leave.

Telling herself the task of packing was something as practiced as getting dressed in the morning was surprisingly easy, and when Kaya had two bags she used for extended trips full, she realised the mind bending effect the spell had was working.

It seemed to affect her parents first. They would look both at her and through her when she entered a room, searching the space she was standing as if someone was there and not there at the same time. It was incredibly unsettling at first, but as her brothers began to do the same, it became easier to deal with. All that was left was Mira. Kaya admitted to herself that she would perhaps miss her sister the most. Her witty younger sibling who always had an answer and an excuse for everything was still strutting around the house like the owned the place. Kaya was glad to see her personality would not change while under Lizette’s influence.

On the fourth day after Kaya had instructed Lizette to begin the spell, she began to hear her family talk to her when she wasn’t in the room. They spoke back and forth, hearing her answer in their collective minds. It made her skin crawl. Hiding her bags in the closest stable block was easier now that it ever could be on a normal day, and as Kaya had returned to the front porch, the door to the house left just slightly open, she could hear a conversation down in the hall in the kitchen taking place as if she was there and involved in it. She could hear Mira’s voice, strained as it was, as if the words coming out were not without difficulty.

Kaya didn’t dare to look. She had everything she needed ready to go, so why was she going back inside the house?

“Kaya.”

Spinning around in surprise at the sound of her name, Lizette stood at the bottom of the stairs. Her eyes were completely opaque, almost black under the effect of the spell. Her skin seemed to glow with the magic she wielded, highlighting veins in her face and neck. She looked ethereal as she stood there, still dressed casually but modestly in a dark blue dress and matching shawl she had wound around her arms.

Kaya forced her heartbeat to steady, fear churning in the pit of her stomach at the sight of the mage. Lizette held out a hand.

“Close the door and it will be done.” It was as if several voices spoke at once, both feminine and masculine, as Lizette told Kaya what to do next. “Hurry. I cannot hold it for much longer. It must be completed!”

This was it. 

This was the moment she was both dreading and hoping for. The spell would be in place, her family would be safe and Kaya could finish what she started. 

With the door half closed, Kaya could still just see to the end of hallway. She did a double take, catching sight of Mira. Her expression seemed neutral as she stared at Kaya. It made Kaya want to run to her. It was so tempting to do so, and would be so easy. 

But Mira gave the slightest shake of her head, a small smile tugging on the corner of her mouth. Feeling tears break free, Kaya lifted her hand, rested it on the handle…

…and slammed the door shut. 

***

Kaya fell into a troubled sleep in a strange bed that night, staying with Lizette indefinitely until it was time for the pups to be born. Lizette had told her that her pregnancy would last six months, or somewhere between twenty four and twenty six weeks. She estimated she was roughly ten weeks now, so she still had quite a ways to go and with every passing day, the chance of becoming permanently erased from the Summerwood family completely became a little more likely. 

There was no use in worrying about it now. It was too late to go back and change things. The only way was forward. It was not easy though and Kaya often found herself thinking of nothing but them, her family’s silhouettes in the distance of her waking dreams and appearing as figures shrouded in shadow while she was asleep.

When it came down to returning to the clearing and meeting back up with Jaycen with over three weeks of absence, Kaya could readily admit she was excited to see him. She had missed him dearly and wanted to see his reaction to learning he was going to be father, even if he already knew before Kaya did. What she wasn’t prepared for though, was for Lizette to ask to accompany her right from the start. It would have been the first time she would have met Jaycen in person since he spared her life.

At first, Kaya didn’t think it was a good idea. Surely, he would not be so merciful a second time, but Lizette reasoned that it was in Jaycen’s best interest to tolerate her presence. She was after all, helping Kaya. Deep down, Kaya suspected there was more to it than that and knew how curious Lizette was to see how she interacted with Jaycen and meet the werewolf of legend in the flesh once again, but this time, under much better circumstances than her last.

It was how Kaya found herself in the forest clearing the following week after leaving home, suddenly nervous to see her lover again but also buzzing with excited energy at the same time. She called his name, but Jaycen was nowhere to be found. The forest was silent except for the usual chirping of birds in the trees and the sound of the leaves gently rustling. Walking over to her usual rock, Kaya climbed on top of it once more like she had done so often now, and waited. 

A twig snapping in the treeline made her spin around to face it, but instead of Jaycen, Lizette came out of the bushes, pushing them aside and pulling her shawl free from being snagged on a branch. She looked around the clearing, slowly making her way over to Kaya as she took in her surroundings, opened her mouth to speak but was promptly stopped when a deep growl cut through the air. 

In almost the same place that Kaya had first seen Jaycen, he once again emerged from between the trees, lips pulled back and crouching low as stalked out of the shadows and into the light. For a second, Kaya’s natural instinct was to run to him, elated to see him, but the way he held himself and his aggressive demeanour made her falter. About to climb down from the rock, she saw Lizette from the corner of her eye as she came to stand next to her and realised Jaycen was growling at her.

She couldn’t blame him; the last time they met they had tried to kill each other, but that wasn’t what Lizette was here to do now.

“Jaycen,” Kaya spoke, “it’s okay, she’s helping me.” But Jaycen didn’t hear her. He inched further forwards, eyes full of hatred and fixated on Lizette. “Jaycen?” Kaya tried again, but still nothing.

Then, Kaya watched in disbelief as Jaycen did something she had never seen him do; he _roared_. Teeth bared, every single one of them on display, the sound seemed to shake the ground, made birds take to the wing and white hot fear rip through Kaya.

He three bounding strides, Jaycen covered the distance between himself and Lizette, claws scraping the stones and kicking up dust behind him as he moved, blisteringly quick and launched himself at Lizette. She fell to the ground, having barely managed to take a few steps back before he reached her. Now caged underneath him, Jaycen’s right arm lifted above him, his hand tensed hard to push out the claws at the end of his fingers, poised to swipe down. 

He was going to kill Lizette, right in front of Kaya. The spell would break, wiping her family’s memory of her forever, she would have no chance at going back, nobody to talk to about her situation, nobody to help her and -

“No!” Kaya’s screamed at the top of her lungs as Jaycen’s arm came down.

It made contact with the ground, claws buried in the earth right next to Lizette’s head.

Kaya practically fell from the rock as she scrambled down from it, breathing hard as the adrenaline rushed out of her. Jaycen pulled his claws free, still snarling at Lizette as he slowly backed away from her. Lizette pushed out a breath, watching Jayce carefully as she steadily sat back up.

“Jaycen.” Kaya spoke once again, voice softer this time as she beckoned the werewolf to her. “Please, let me explain.” He finally seemed to be listening properly, coming to stand almost directly between Kaya and Lizette. She did have a lot of explaining to do if she wanted to get Jaycen to truly understand what Lizette was doing here. Having Lizette accompany her was something Kaya didn’t agree with for her first reunion, his initial reaction proving her point, but Lizette had insisted there was no point in delaying any further. They needed to work as a team now, revealing her pregnancy to Jaycen and showing just how much she was risking by going through with it.

Hours later, Jaycen and Lizette has settled into an uneasy alliance. He was still incredibly aware of her every move she made, even something as mundane as re-arranging her shawl or clearing her throat. It was clear to Kaya that even after the best part of a century, he could still hold a grudge. He was laying down now next to Kaya as she sat up against the rock, head in her lap. He had listened carefully as Kaya fought back tears when she explained that she may never see her family again if none of this went to plan.

Jaycen watched her quietly, snuggling closer. When a tear managed to fall, he lifted his hand, catching it with his finger and making it disappear into his fur. Kaya would have sobbed harder if it wasn’t for Lizette just a few metres away. Whereas Jaycen could deftly seem to ignore her and watch her at the same time, Kaya had a little trouble being ‘normal’ around Jaycen while in Lizette’s company. She resisted to urge to cuddle nearer to him or kiss the soft fur of his muzzle, settling on running her hand through his fur on his head as he placed it back in his favourite spot of her lap. The former things were for moments when it would be just the two of them.

Also, not only did Kaya guess correctly that he knew she was pregnant before she did, but he could already sense how many pups were developing. 

_Four_.

Jaycen was excited, barely able to contain it as he lay next to Kaya. She almost feel him buzzing with energy underneath her hand and in that moment, Kaya was sure he could feel her own, reflecting his, matching it.

Kaya was in for a ride.

***

As the days turned into weeks, Kaya created a routine for herself. She spent the morning helping Lizette at her shop, tidying up the mountains of books and arranging them into much neater stacks, dusting every visible surface she could find and watering the ferns around both the shop and Lizette’s home above. She still remained a little creeped out by the ever twisting vines and would swear that she saw one tendril move of its own volition.

In the early afternoon, she would head into the forest and meet Jaycen, sometimes alone and sometimes in Lizette’s company. When she was alone, most of her visits would end with Kaya’s clothes on the floor, bodies writhing in desire and pleasured sighs echoing on the wind. When she was with Lizette, they mostly discussed the outcome of what Kaya would eventually have to go through. Kaya knew very few women that had given birth and the ones she did had said little of their experience. The way they held themselves after spoke enough, looking tired and worn out for the first few weeks.

Overall, Kaya wasn’t exactly looking forward to the birth itself and was more looking forward to seeing what baby werewolves looked like. It wasn’t something she could even comprehend in her mind, having only ever seen one werewolf in her lifetime, she could only guess they would be tiny versions of their father.

In the evenings and into the night when she was too tired to take a carriage back to Lizette’s shop, she stayed with Jaycen. He had revealed to her his place of permanent residence. A good hour’s journey further south into the forest, he carried her into the mouth of a cave, its entrance almost completely concealed by ivy and ferns. Further in, light shone through gaps in the cave’s roof far above when there was enough, illuminating the cave enough to show Kaya that it was neither damp nor dank like she had initially expected. Instead, it was warm and welcoming. Nearly all the rock surface on the ground was covered with dried grass and soft moss. To her surprise, there were collections of books, pots and pans that Jaycen had found over the years. A small circle of rocks was in the centre; evidence of a fire pit. Different coloured rocks were on a jagged natural shelf higher up and brightly coloured flowers grew from gaps that glowed with bioluminescence in the darkness of the night. Other random assortments of items such as silver candelabras, cutlery utensils, plates, framed water portraits and even an ancient pocket watch were all scattered around the cave, making the place glitter in the light of the day. Kaya laughed to find how it was much like a dragon’s hoard in one of her favourite fairy tales, scattered about as the items were, making it feel more homely. Kaya couldn’t describe how much she appreciated Jaycen’s human side, still very much there and often shining through.

As the weeks had turned into months, Kaya found her body preparing for birth in ways she was still naïve to. Lizette had explained as best she could, but no talk could prepare her for the way her back and hips would ache as her belly got rounder. Or the unnerving way she felt when the pups were finally big enough to move. Feeling the first flutters of life underneath her palm was more incredible that Kaya could have ever imagined despite the way it initially made her squirm in discomfort. It made everything even more real, if that was even possible.

Kaya was horrified when she realised her breasts had got bigger too, slowly filling with milk to nourish the pups when they were born. It was something she had not expected and when she told Jaycen she just expected them to start eating meat the moment they came out, she was sure if he could laugh that he would have.

He tried his best to comfort her without words though, nuzzling her and pulling her close to him to help her fall asleep, safe in the warm embrace of his arms. They were more active at night, deciding to keep her awake as the sun went down. Kaya was sure they were trying to switch places inside her with the way they would kick up under her ribs while simultaneously pressing down on her bladder.

Lizette was keeping a calendar of when for Kaya to expect things to _really_ start happening. With just approximately four weeks to go, she found herself less and less willing to leave Jaycen’s side. She was big now, looking somewhere between seven and eight months pregnant by human standards, her belly a smooth curve outward and with near constant movement from the pups within. 

The journey back and forth from Erstweald became too much and both unwilling to leave Jaycen’s side and clearly in the final stages, Kaya decided to move several of her personal effects into his cave and make herself more comfortable. She utilised the pots and pans and other human based items at her disposal, explaining what she was doing to Jaycen as she created a stew from a rabbit he had caught. Lizette still visited her, but it became more difficult as Jaycen had become extremely protective. Although he was forced to reveal where he lived to Lizette in order for her to help Kaya safely relocate, he no longer allowed Lizette to come near the entrance of the cave and instead if Kaya wanted to meet with her, he would carry her for a good fifteen minutes or so away from his domain. A shaded bough of a large juniper tree became their new meeting point.

“I’m sorry about this.” Kaya gestured at their surroundings as she sat upright against the tree. 

“Oh, it’s fine.” Lizette waved her hand dismissively, much like she did at the fair all those months ago. “It makes sense really,” she looked over at Jaycen who busied himself with pulling up the mossy blanket encasing the trunk of a nearby tree, “his mate is in a delicate state, it’s easy to understand how he must be feeling.”

“I guess…” Kaya still didn’t feel comfortable using such a primitive way to describe herself. _Mate_ sounded too animalistic and _partner_ sounded too human.

When Kaya’s energy got too low for her to keep her eyes open in the warmth of the day, she would say goodbye to Lizette and Jaycen would carry her back to the cave. Over the last couple of weeks, he had been gathering moss, ferns and other types of grass to create a “nest” of sorts for her to sleep in. Slowly, it had become a comfortable mass of vegetation that was spongy underneath her and soft to the touch. 

That night, as she lay facing Jaycen’s chest and he had curled himself around her, she listened to the quiet sounds of the forest and Jaycen’s deep steady breaths.

“I’m afraid.” Voice barely above a whisper, she wondered for a moment if Jaycen hadn’t heard her. But then, he shifted his head down to look at her. “I’m afraid,” Kaya repeated, “I’m afraid of more things than I thought I was, of things I didn’t know I could even be afraid of.” Jaycen half sat up, one hand coming to rest on her thigh, the other against her cheek. In the dim light of the cave, she could see his bright yellow eyes sparkling. 

“I’m afraid if I go home that my family won’t remember me, but I’m afraid of them forgetting me which almost makes me never want to face them again. What’s wrong with me?” Of course, Jaycen didn’t answer verbally, he simply looked off into the darkness, as if actually wondering to her question.

Kaya lowered one hand to her belly, feeling the confident movements of the babies inside her, awake as always as they were at night. “I’m afraid of how much it’s going to hurt when they come out. I’m afraid they won’t like me, I’m afraid I won’t bond with them as I know nothing about being a mother-” Kaya cut herself off before she could start rambling, refilling her lungs with crisp air as she sighed deeply. “Are you afraid of anything?” She asked Jaycen quietly. 

He was still for a long time and she thought he wasn’t going to answer her, but he finally nodded slowly.

“I suppose we are all afraid of something.” He nodded again in agreement. She didn’t ask what it was that he feared, she didn’t need to know that right now.

The following few days, Kaya didn’t see Lizette. Their last meeting had consisted of Lizette bringing her some books on childbirth of all things. Reading about such a thing had not succeeded in making her feel any better about the process. It sounded messy and uncomfortable and every day it was drawing nearer. Any slight movement the pups made had her freeze in whatever she was doing.

They sat low and heavy inside her now, clearly almost ready to make their entrance into the world. Kaya could hardly sleep with the dull ache between her hips and lower back an almost constant thing. No amount of yarrow tea or any other anti-inflammatory brew that she had learned to make was helping. 

Two weeks after she had last seen Lizette, Kaya was sitting on a rock at the mouth of the cave, writing in her journal. Jaycen had left to hunt, something he seemed hesitant to do now that Kaya was so close to her due date, but unlike him, she still had to eat every day. However, said due date had eluded her…until now.

Kaya had become good at ignoring the dull ache in her nether regions, however today it was especially persistent. It spread like a fanned flame, creeping up her spine and stealing the breath from her lungs as she leant forward, clutching her belly as best she could. She felt the pups shift and a split second later, fluid gushed from within her in an uncontrollable _whoosh_ and when Kaya looked down to see what it was, all she saw was a mixture of clear fluid tinged with blood. It was already staining the ends of the cream coloured dress and soaking into the ground below. Fighting the rising panic, Kaya pushed up from the rock, only just remembering to take her journal and quill as she used the wall of the cave to lean on and make her way back inside.

Oh Gods, this was happening now. Kaya cursed under her breath as she reached the makeshift nest, half collapsing and half lowering herself into it. Why was this happening today? Why not tomorrow? Or the day after? Kaya’s thoughts scattered as she realised what was in store for her.

Her water had broken.

She was in labour.

Kaya pulled her dress up to her knees, lest further fluids decide to suddenly make an appearance, as she sat with her back up against a small tree trunk that she often used as a seat, but right now, it was nothing more than something for her ground herself with. The tightening in her belly faded and Kaya relaxed. She had read that when a woman’s water breaks, it could still be hours before anything more happened, but that was with human children. Surely it couldn’t be that different in the mix between the humankind and the animal? Kaya only had a moment to wonder before a contraction tugged at her, pulling a groan from her chest and making her throw her head back against the bark of the tree.

Oh, this was really happening _now_.

Kaya racked her brain for the things she had read in the books and what Lizette had said. All this was second hand knowledge, neither woman having any real experience in this except for what Lizette could recall from the previous woman to do this. Kaya had prayed it would be enough, but now she was beginning to think it might not be. She bit her lip, forcing the panic back down. It was rattling in her chest like a bird in a cage, clawing to be free. If it got out, there was no chance of it going back in.

Jaycen wasn’t here right now and neither was Lizette; she was alone. However long this would take, she would start this on her own and could only hope Jaycen would return soon so she finish this with him by her side. She couldn’t do this by herself.

The pups squirmed once more, seemingly deciding among themselves as to who would be born first. Without a doubt, they were all positioned correctly, their little kicks centralised up to her ribs and the pressure of them pushing down onto her pelvis assured Kaya that their instinct was helping them along. She just wished it would help her along too.

For a few minutes, she had peace as the contraction eased off and gave her a moment to breath. The pain was a burning pressure, building up to its crescendo with every heartbeat that pounded, counting the seconds until it came again. Her knees would no longer close, ultimately not to her knowledge as Kaya felt another contraction rise like the tide.

In the end, the groans turned to screams.

Unsure if she pulled the dress or tore it, Kaya could barely stand to have the material touch her with skin burning up and breaking a sweat as she rode the wave of continuous contractions. Kaya forced herself to roll over and brace herself against the log, her nails pulling the moss free.

Where was Jaycen? How long had it been since this all started?

“Jaycen…” her voice was hoarse as she cried hard, Kaya pushed her hair from her face, deciding this bent over position she was in felt the best. The agonising pressure below her waist was immense and the urge to push overwhelming.

She gave in to it, and just as she did so, the contraction tapered off, making Kaya scream in frustration. Also at that moment, to her left she heard the familiar steps of Jaycen as he returned, bounding to her side in an instant and crouching to her level. 

“Jaycen!” Kaya gasped. “I can’t….it hurts…”

He nuzzled against her cheek. _You can_.

One of his hands went to her lower back, applying steady pressure which helped relieve some of the tightness she felt.

The babies weren’t supposed to be much bigger than “the palms of her clasped hands” if she remembered what Lizette had told her. So why did it feel like they were triple the size?

Kaya couldn’t keep a track of the time that passed or for how long she laboured. Feeling herself losing strength with each contraction that she was sure was shredding her, Kaya chased the feeling of needing to push, her belly tightening with the force of them.

The presence of Jaycen by her side and his touch on her skin, although clinical, was the only thing that kept her awake and away from the edges of unconsciousness. She heard Jaycen shift a little, heard him sniff the air behind her and when he came back to the corners of her focus, his eyes were hard. He nodded, never a more certain look on his face Kaya had seen.

She could feel the first pup fighting its way down with every push and so she reached beneath herself. Kaya gasped when her fingers touched the small wet head of the first baby, just outside her body.

When the next contraction ripped through her, Kaya pushed with everything she had, and the next moment, it slipped free. Kaya barely had time to look and fully take in the writhing dark form of the firstborn, before the second pup wanted its turn. Thankfully, it came easier, as did the other two not far behind. Kaya thanked every star she could name that although it still hurt, the other three pups didn’t put up as much of a fight as the first.

Collapsing fully against the log, Kaya leaned to one side and looked down. Finally, they were here. Their umbilical cords had snapped as they came out, and now they simply wriggled over each other, ears flat to their head and eyes firmly closed. They were damp with residue stickiness and the pathetic mewls they made were almost funny, but Kaya thought they were the most beautiful creatures she had ever seen.

They were all dark black as far as she could see in the dim light, much like their father, who lowered his head and made quick work off licking the mess from the babies’ fur.  
Although desperate to reach out and touch them, Kaya’s exhausted and aching body refused to do anything else but pull her into the safe confines of sleep. The last thing she felt as her face touched the moss underneath her, was Jaycen’s head, pushing firmly into her neck, a deep purr resonating into the cave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have an end in sight! It might turn into ten chapters or it might stick with nine, I'm not sure. At this point in time, I have almost caught up in posting with what I have written on my laptop, so I best get cracking!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaya returns to her human family and resolves to find a way for her to live in both this world, and the world she has discovered with Jaycen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, there is a wonderful piece of fanart created by Katt (@Koochie_minks) on Twitter for the moments between Kaya and Jaycen when they're resting by the water's edge. Go check it out! I was not expecting something like that to happen and to have someone sit down and take the time to create a physical representation of something I conjured up in my mind, is simply awesome. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right with being as descriptive as I can, that it helps artwork become a reality. Thank you Katt! 
> 
> https://twitter.com/Koochie_minks/status/1263212011472719881

Distant noise registered in Kaya’s mind and it was that which pulled her from her rest. She was warm all over, from the tips of her fingers down to her toes, her aching body slowly healing from the ordeal of birth. Kaya blinked her eyes open to find herself much in the same position she had practically passed out in. A blanket now covered her and she felt…clean. Everything came rushing back in a fraction of second and she had expected to feel sticky and disgusting in her nether regions, but she didn’t.

Forcing herself to sit up on her elbow despite her body almost creaking in protest, she spied Jaycen just a little ways away from her, a bowl of water on the ground and a few rags surrounding it. Watching him rinse a rag between in hands was probably one of the most humanlike things she had ever seen him do and it warmed her heart.

He dropped the rag the moment he saw her awake, coming back to lie down next to her but not before licking her cheek.

“I’m alright.” She murmured to him, her other hand coming to run up his muzzle and over his eyes. In that moment, she felt movement against her. Looking down, she lifted the blanket she was covered with and released a small gasp to see the four new werewolf pups snuggled as close to her stomach and each other as they could manage. Intertwined as they were, it was tricky to see where one began and where another ended, but Kaya could clearly make out each of their heads and closed eyes. They were fast asleep, but as Kaya awoke, so did they. Small noises of confusion, tiny mewls and grunts, the pups shifted and began to break apart from each other. 

Kaya hesitated for just a moment before she lowered her hand to gently touch them. Their fur was incredibly soft, akin to the delicate fur on Jaycen’s head, but so thin that it felt like velvet. The pups’ reaction was instant, turning into her hand to nuzzle it as best they could.

Jaycen helped Kaya sit up further, the blanket sliding down to pool at her waist as she kept herself covered beneath her navel and one by one, she lifted the babies into her lap. Despite how huge they felt coming out, they really did fit nicely in her hands, their flailing limps hanging over the edges as if they were trying to swim in the air. Kaya’s heart swelled with love and pride. How could she have doubted, even for a moment, that she would not be capable of loving these tiny creatures?

“They’re so beautiful.” Kaya whispered her affection out loud.

One of the pups was clearly slightly bigger than the other three and she only guess that it was the one who was born first. Deciding to start with that one, she looked to Jaycen for guidance. “How do I do it?” She questioned, moving the baby closer to her chest to hint what she was asking him.

Jaycen sat himself next to her and simply pushed her hands forward until the pup was securely against her chest. It seemed to get the idea almost immediately and she huffed a laugh. “It’s that simple, is it?”

Jaycen shrugged, head tilting. For one horrifying moment, Kaya thought the infant would chew right through her nipple. It was a werewolf after all, no matter how small, but after a moment when it latched on, no pain came to her, just the slightly odd sensation of the newborn suckling happily. 

Repeating the process with the other three but switching breasts, Kaya’s aching body caught back up with her, forcing her to lay down once again. The light coming through the gaps in the cave ceiling had dimmed considerably which meant nightfall was well underway. “Wake me if they need me.” She brushed her hand against Jaycen’s shoulder and he nodded, watching as the pups scrambled their way back from her lap to rest against her stomach. For only being hours old, they had remarkable coordination. Jaycen laid down next to her, the only space between them taken by the babies as they settled back down and were quick to fall asleep.

As Kaya closed her eyes once more to join them, she felt Jaycen’s hand caress her face. Sighing deeply and pleasantly at the gesture, Kaya gave a small smile and fell back asleep.

***

Within that week, the pups had already began to open their eyes. Four curious males with three pairs of bright blue orbs stared back at Kaya, while the fourth, much to her surprise had eyes similar to her own. Although a little brighter in colour, a set of pale green often drew her attention as the smallest baby also began to develop a shade of red to its fur. In such a short time, they had become restless in the cave and wished to explore the open world. Hesitantly, Kaya had let them do so. Jaycen was the expert here and had obviously seen his offspring do this before, as he seemed to have no worries about them attempting to walk on all fours outside of the safety of the cave.

It was most amusing, as they often struggled to crawl more than a few feet, but their mobility was nothing short of amazing. It was how Kaya saw the smallest pup with the green eyes had a fur colour almost matching her own hair. With each day, the auburn in his coat began to show through, whereas the other three stayed shades of black. 

They were all incredible, a first of their kind for a long time, and they needed to be treasured and cared for. At least until they were old enough to fend for themselves which had Kaya wondering when that would be.

The days were getting cooler as the sun had begun to set slightly earlier in the evening and rise later in the morning. The air turned crisp as the sun went down and alighted the sky with deep hues of pink, purple and blue. Kaya was glad for it, very much done with the heat of summer.

She had been keeping careful track of how long she had been away and each week ticked off made anticipation clench in her gut. So when Kaya felt well enough to deal with Lizette again, she had washed the ruined dress she had torn from herself when she gave birth, fashioned it into a sling to keep the pups close to her and followed Jaycen to the juniper trees where they would meet.

Jaycen kept an incredibly close eye on Lizette as the mage came near enough to see the pups for the first time. Kaya could feel the tension in the air, cut it with a knife if she could, and was thankful that Lizette refrained from touching them despite how much she could see she wanted to, hands twitching with the effort to keep them at her sides and clearly as instantly enamoured with them as Kaya was. Sniffing at the air, all four babies seemed just as unsure about Lizette as Jaycen was. Being creatures of magic themselves, perhaps they could sense her own magical capabilities? 

“Oh my!” Lizette gasped in delight at the sight of them. “This one looks just like you.” Her eyes had drawn to the pup in question with the auburn fur and green eyes.  
Settling down against the trees in the shade of the afternoon sun, Kaya got to work.

“So,” she began, “I’ve been keeping track of how long I’ve been away. It makes me nervous just thinking about it but I have to know…what are my chances of returning home without a hitch?”

“I wish I could tell you.” Lizette sighed. “But you already know magic doesn’t work that way. There is nothing I can tell you except that from what I can feel, the spell is firmly in place and doing its work. When you’re ready to return, all you have to do is open the door which you firmly closed.”

“It just feels too easy.”

“Well it is, in a way. Things either work out or they don’t. I know that, you know that. Jaycen knows that too.” She gestured to him where he lay next to Kaya, one ear twitching at the mention of his name. Kaya had not yet discussed when it was best to return. Werewolf offspring grew quickly, learned new things much faster than any human could and were destined to be independent and lonesome beings when they were ready to leave. Just like with humans, there didn’t seem to be any set time limit with that either, which both helped and hindered Kaya. 

When the pups were ready to leave, they would not hesitate to do so, Jaycen had assured her of this. It left Kaya wondering if she was the one who have trouble leaving when the time came, especially as she had come to the realisation that she, Kaya Summerwood of Erstweald, had fallen in love with a werewolf.

She didn’t voice this to Lizette, she hadn’t yet voiced that to Jaycen either, having no idea how to approach the subject. 

Fiddling with blades of grass, Kaya looked at Jaycen. Only his eyes moved as he returned her look with one of curiosity.

“What happened?” She asked. He tilted his head in confusion. Realising he couldn’t answer that way, Kaya rephrased her question. “What happened to the woman you have done this with before? Did she leave you?”

Jaycen lifted his head, eyes hard. They had not talked about this as it made Kaya’s chest clench with envy, but she had to know. After a moment, he nodded. 

“And where did she go? Do you know?” No. “Did the pups stay with you?” Jaycen sighed deeply before shaking his head. “She took them?” Kaya wondered aloud rather than ask him.

“How does one take werewolf babies away?” Lizette queried. Jaycen’s eyes hardened further as he looked at her. Lizette understood instantly. “She stole them from you.” He nodded. “When I went to the cabin she was staying in, she was gone. No signs of a struggle. Nothing. It was as if she was never there.” Lizette stared off into the trees at the memory she recalled in her mind’s eye. 

The revelation made Kaya reel in empathy for Jaycen. It was just another thing he had taken away from him.

“That’s not going to happen here.” Kaya stated. Jaycen turned to her, head cocked slightly as he studied her. “That’s not going to happen.” She repeated. “I’m not going to take them from you. There is nowhere for them to go that is safer than at your side.” Jaycen seemed to relax, but apprehension returned as Kaya continued. “Although you know that much, you know I cannot stay either.”

Kaya knew Jaycen understood. She had explained what was at stake, explained that she planned to return home but she needed to make it clear that she would not be disappearing on him. There was no way she was giving up on him and the family they had created.

“Kaya,” Lizette spoke up, “what do you intend to do if your family do not remember you?” Kaya remembered Lizette imploring her to consider that as the only outcome. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

However, Kaya didn’t have an answer for her. She had enough of her own money saved up to find somewhere to live short term, she was sure she would find a job easy enough with her experience of horses...

Kaya’s thoughts cut themselves short when she realised that if she was forgotten, nobody would know of her experience with anything. She would be a stranger in the land of Erstweald. Alone.

“Kaya.” Lizette said her name again when she didn’t answer. Lizette smiled sadly. “You haven’t got a plan, have you?” When Kaya shook her head, feeling her eyes become blurry with unshed tears, Lizette reached over and rest her hand on her knee. “Looks like you will be staying with me then, at least until we figure something out. Have faith in yourself and the power of family. Both this one and the other.”

Faith.

Kaya never thought really had a lot of that to begin with. It existed far more in her books than it did in the real world.

The pups shifted at Kaya’s distress, obviously sensing the emotions at war within their mother, and the small squeaks of confusion they made drew her attention enough for Kaya to focus and Lizette moved her hand away. As Kaya touched each of their heads in turn, she realised something.

She had in fact, had a faith a lot recently. She had it in the hopes Jaycen wouldn’t kill her when they first met; he didn’t. She had faith that he would return to the clearing to meet her again; he did. She had faith that he wanted her as much as she wanted him; he did. She had faith that Lizette would help her; she did. Finally, she had faith that the pups would be born healthy; they were.

It seemed far too optimistic to keep hoping and believing that everything would be alright, but what other choice did she have? She felt a coldness on her cheek and blinked hard to stop the tears from falling as Jaycen pressed his nose against Kaya’s face. She blushed hard when she caught Lizette watching the exchange, a small smile tugging the corner of her mouth and she quickly but playfully pushed the hulking werewolf away, making sure he saw her own smile that was just for him.

Kaya looked down at the pups once more. They had settled as Kaya had cheered herself up a little at her realisation and she returned one hand to them, which they instantly fidgeted around each other in order to nuzzle at it. 

“Give me three more weeks.” It sounded like a question in Kaya’s mind but when she spoke it, it came out much more like a request. “I have to go back eventually and regardless of what happens, you will always have me.” Kaya lifted her other hand up to cup Jaycen’s face. “Either way, you’re stuck with me.” She saw the hardness in Jaycen’s eyes from before soften and a small but deep sound came from his chest. It was quiet enough than Lizette couldn’t have heard it where she was sat, but Kaya felt it vibrate up her arm.

A small cough made Kaya blush once again, and Jaycen instantly got up, shook out his fur and sauntered off a ways into the trees. Once he was almost out of sight, Lizette spoke up.

“You have fallen for him.” 

Kaya almost choked on her own saliva when Lizette voiced her observation.

“What?”

“You have fallen for him.” She repeated.

“What makes you say that?” Kaya replied.

“It’s the way you look at him, the way you speak to him. Sideways glances and soft touches. Trust me, he does not have to be human for me to see the way you interact. I’ve seen it before many times.” Lizette sighed. “I looked at someone that way once. They looked back at me in much the same way.”

Suddenly seeming sombre, Kaya tried to lighten her mood. “Just how long ago was that?”

It worked and Lizette waved her hand in her signature dismissive way. “Oh, a long time ago.”

“Do I dare ask how old you actually are?” It was something that Kaya had wondered since the first time she realised who Lizette was. However, the mage simply threw her head back and laughed.

“Well you just did!”

“And will you answer?” Kaya chuckled. Lizette fixed her dark eyes on Kaya, a small smile tugging one corner of her mouth.

“Old enough.” It was as good an answer as she was going to get.

***

With all the time that has passed so far since Kaya had first wandered into the forest clearing and stumbled across Jaycen, she had never paid much mind to how quickly it had seemed to go. It was the peak of summer when they had met, the air thick with its humidity and lack of wind. The skies were always a clear bright blue and devoid of any clouds as the sun burnt them away, its powerful rays scorching the ground.

Everyone acted differently in the heat. Kaya did her best to hide from it with her pale skin that would do nothing short of turn as pink as the sky in the sunset. It made her sweat in all the wrong places, making her feel sticky and disgusting. Her long hair would stick to her forehead and her back between her shoulder blades, her cheeks would sun blush and silly things made her irritable. Kaya remembered the smell of horses’ sweat, how the heat would make the manure heap almost flammable on really hot days and stink of ammonia would make her eyes sting, almost able to taste it in the back of her throat with its overpowering acrid smell. There was no escaping the chores though, they had to be done. The horses wouldn’t feed themselves.

The house wouldn’t clean itself either. When closed her eyes, she could smell the disinfectant her mother would use around the large farmhouse. Despite their outdoorsy profession, the Summerwood home was always immaculate. Her mother wouldn’t accept anything less. 

Kaya sat on the rock outside the entrance of Jaycen’s cave, flicking through her journal. Her writings went back to the summer fair and when she had met Lizette for the second time. She remembered being enraptured by that large black bird and its oddly shaped beak, only to then spy the old bookseller just behind it. She laughed to herself when she recalled thinking that was all Lizette was; an old lady from a far off land selling books to make her living. At that time, she had no idea who she really was. Selling books seemed like such a mundane task in comparison to what Lizette was actually capable of.

Resting in her lap, was the account of Jaycen and how he came to be. Kaya had read it multiple times and each time she wondered just how much of it was actually true and how much Lizette had made up for dramatic effect. Yes, the witch had dragged Jaycen through the trees and into an identical forest clearing and cursed him to his fate after he rejected the wrong woman. Yes, Lizette had fought him in combat and lived, told her tale to the world in a book she held in her hands that many believed to be simple fiction rather than a partial biography with actual historical events.

When she compared her written reaction of Jaycen’s story and her actual account of her meeting him, she couldn’t help but laugh. She had been starry eyed in the face of the book and fearing for her life in the face of the reality.

The two, somehow, had intertwined.

It was the end of summer. The leaves were turning shades of orange and crimson as the air continued to cool. It was the season of change, of reflection, and Kaya had her things gathered in a bag next to the rock for her return.

Today, she was going home.

It all came down to this day and was something that Kaya had been dreading and hoping for, the two emotions inside her at war with one another. She couldn’t stay with Jaycen in the forest, not really, despite how much she wanted to. She wasn’t a werewolf and could never live like they did. In their world, they were almost completely ruled by animalistic instincts; there was no need to have human values, politics or even conversations. 

In the weeks since Kaya had given birth to the four new werewolves of the world, she had learned many things about them, both good and bad.

They would never take a human form, but they would retain many human characteristics, perhaps even more than Jaycen. They would be able to tell the difference between the two sides of them but it was up to them which side they would ultimately follow. Jaycen was unsure if they would be able to speak, as the last pups he encountered were taken away before they could ever potentially develop such a skill.

If they could speak, just how much would they have to say? How could they communicate with their father? Would they have to ask yes or no questions like she did? Kaya really hoped not. She hoped, with everything she could muster, that they would be able to speak as well as any human. 

Kaya gathered her bag and spied Lizette from the corner of her vision. The old mage was here to escort her back to her home at the edges of the forest. The time had come to return, say a temporary goodbye to her new family and return to the original one from whence she came. The bitterness of leaving one family was replaced with the excitement of reuniting with another.

Collecting the last of her things, Kaya turned to the large werewolf with obsidian fur, golden eyes and the presence of a tornado. Both her friend and her lover, although he had never said so much as a single word, Jaycen spoke volumes in different ways. He stood just behind her, watching, face neutral. Even if he couldn’t speak, Kaya knew he wished her all the luck in the world when it came to things just going back to normal for her. Lizette’s words of foreboding sat heavy in her mind; expect the worst and you’ll be better off.

Running her tongue over her teeth, Kaya lifted her hand and touched Jaycen’s chest. His fur, as was with almost every part of him, was so incredibly soft between her fingers. Her hand came up slowly to rest on his cheek, words of parting catching in her throat. What could she say? She hadn’t planned a goodbye speech, telling herself that this wasn’t a true goodbye in the first place. Next to Jaycen, now very much able to stand on all fours and walk a handful of paces, their four sons clustered around their father’s feet, staring up at her with wide eyes. Jaycen moved back a little as she bent down to them, whispering words of encouragement that she will return. Much like Jaycen, they cocked their heads in curiosity and listened closely. Somehow, beyond Kaya’s comprehension, they seemed to understand.

When Kaya stood back up and regarded Jaycen with tears welling in her eyes, his ears drooped and he sighed deeply. 

_Don’t be afraid._

Kaya heard movement behind her and pushed her rising despair back down in the hole it tried to crawl out of. She had faith and she held onto it with all her might.

In the end, just as Jaycen couldn’t, Kaya didn’t say anything. No words came to her that she could say that would be enough to describe how she felt in that moment. She also refused to look back as she followed Lizette into the treeline. Although she felt five pairs of eyes watching her go, they didn’t implore her to turn around with a heavy heart. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Kaya wasn’t sure how to put the feeling into its place, but she could feel her new family in the back of mind, and nothing they had for her in that moment was disdain of her departure. Only hope.

Hope that everything for her would be alright, whatever may come. 

Kaya didn’t pay attention to the minutes that ticked by as she trailed several feet behind Lizette. The old mage deftly made her way through the greenery at a steady pace and Kaya did little else except watch for where she was stepping, making sure to avoid holes in the ground or especially gnarled tree roots. It was darker under the thick canopy of trees, but Kaya could already see the trees making way for the clearing with the pond. With the sun just coming off its highest point in the afternoon light, its rays graced the surface of the water. As she neared it, she spied the iridescent fish lazily swimming beneath the crystal clear liquid and noticed for the first time that the lily pads had flowered a late summer bloom with varying shades of pink and purple dotting the petals. Kaya eyed the rock in where she had first sat, idly writing in her journal for what must have been a few minutes before hearing Jaycen’s growl cut through the air. The grassy verges of the pond were soft underneath her and although Kaya walked over them with her shoes on, she could still feel the grass between her toes. No matter how hot the day would get, the ground of the clearing maintained a coolness that Kaya could only guess came from the pond and the water flowing beneath the ground.

A patch of slightly longer grass caught her attention and Kaya stopped in her tracks. It was right there, where she had laid down for Jaycen for the first time. She had thrown all abandon out the window and put all her holdups to one side. From the moment she had removed her dress, she had never hesitated with Jaycen, as she quickly realised there was no need to. He had never done so with her. Jaycen demanded respect not only as a werewolf but as a man and Kaya quickly realised that. She had never seen Jaycen as just the creature he physically represented, only who he was underneath all of that. What anyone else thought of that, she did not care for.

Lizette had stopped, half turned to look back at Kaya as she waited for her by the pathway that led back to the road out of the forest. Beyond that, the hills of Erstweald began. Further still, within perfect walking distance, was the Summerwood farmhouse.

Lizette watched Kaya stare at the ground. She didn’t speak, didn’t hurry her along, she simply stayed silent and watched her younger companion be flooded with feelings of nostalgia. Kaya shifted from foot to foot, both of her worlds pulling her from either side. While she felt sure she could live in both of them, there was no doubt that only one would win when it came down to it.

When the trees ended and the rolling green hills lay sprawled in front of Kaya, she could easily see her house in the distance. A gentle wind blew the knee high grass on a delicate sway, its coolness refreshing not only Kaya’s senses but the plant and wildlife of this corner of the world. No flowers grew in the southwestern hills of Erstweald, only the evergreen grass that refused to yield to any and all of the elements. Ubiquitous and relentless, it covered the land in varying shades of the same colour, broken up only by the occasional jagged edge of a rock formation that sprouted from the greenery, forcing its way to the sky with all its might. In the wind, Kaya could see the layers of grass as they moved together, like a whisper in a foreign language, framing both the rocks near her and those in the distance. It thinned right down the closer she got to home, mostly thanks to the horses that grazed it in rotation. 

The house was just a few hundred yards away now, the sun making its way into the western horizon and beginning to cast long shadows over the property. Its study structure was mostly made from wood, with stone foundations and pillars keeping it together. The main roof was thatched, yet parts of the building that jutted outwards, such as her mother’s study, were tiled in a soft reddish orange. 

Kaya and Lizette came up the hill the house sat on, its gentle curve no problem for Kaya. The familiarity of it made her heart speed up with every step she took, bringing her closer to the front door, closer to her parents and siblings. When she finally reached said door, Kaya dropped her bang down with soft thud. Lizette stood just at the bottom of the steps, a small smile on her face.

Kaya turned to her, looking at the mage who had lived far longer than she perhaps should have, and smiled back. Without her, Kaya’s life would have been very different and she refused to think about what that might have looked like. Lizette had asked for very little in return for helping Kaya, and although she still didn’t know what that might be, she didn’t dwell on it. It wasn’t worth it, not after everything. 

_“Close the door and it will be done.”_

Lizette’s words echoed in Kaya’s mind as she turned back to the door. All she had to do was open it and step inside and the spell, whatever was left of it, would either break under the force of her return or it would hold fast.

Kaya steeled her nerve, raising her hand to rest it on the handle. Closing her eyes, she saw Jaycen’s yellow eyes staring back at her. He was right, she didn’t need to be afraid. No matter what happened, she was not alone and she never would be again. 

From inside the house, Kaya heard Mira’s laughter. At her back, the fresh breeze gently pushed at her, as if urging her to continue forwards and to not hesitate. She drew in a slow breath of early autumn air through her nose and applying pressure to the handle…

…Kaya opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are. Thank you to everyone who has read this, clicked on it, scanned over it etc. It was going to be 9 chapters but I did a lot of editing to make it a nice even 8. Even numbers are better, for me anyway and my high level OCD. I also wanted to leave it open ended and make it so it's up to you as a reader to decide what would happen to Kaya in regards to the spell letting her return or forcing her to leave. I actually wrote both endings out, had them side by side for comparison but neither really worked. So I made it both, in a way.
> 
> As mentioned above, there is fanart for this, which even after a couple of weeks I am still stoked about it! I hope anything else I write inspires visuals so strong it makes people want to draw it out.
> 
> Thanks again.
> 
> \- HWR


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